


Fade Into You (Roman Godfrey)

by cryinforyouonly



Category: Bill Skarsgard - Fandom, Hemlock Grove, Roman Godfrey - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Multi, Supernatural Elements, Upir, Vampires, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 09:18:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 62,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3644970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryinforyouonly/pseuds/cryinforyouonly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I look to him and I see nothing. Roman lives a life completely separate from Raquel's life. Their paths cross and their lives change over night. Raquel came for the party and left with Roman the last person on earth she's ever expected to befriend and later love.<br/>Loosely follows the Hemlock Grove show (season one) and novel story line.<br/>*Mature Reading*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's only you who can tell me apart...

There was a lot going on. Music is blasting and catchy indie and hip hop are played interchangeably. Lights are low in this nice house, I don't want to even imagine the cleanup of solo cups and sticky beer stains left around this once immaculate home. I walk through the crowded living room that has now changed into an impromptu dance floor and head towards to the kitchen, I need a refill. The kitchen is brightly lit and burns my eyes although it might be from the smoke of various cigs and joints around me. I take my empty solo cup and start filling my cup from the one of many kegs. I hurriedly sip the beer foam and I lick the suds off my lip and top off my cup. I look out from the archway of the kitchen to the dance floor and I see my girlfriends having a blast and dancing with two guys who look like they've come from the university across town. I know they are literally screaming in their heads, proud that they, as high school seniors, attracted college boys. My friends are nuts but I love them. I let them have their fun and I turn around as a take the last sip of my beer, another refill.

I'm quite buzzed but I'm okay. I start making conversation with a few people. It's easier when I'm buzzed. Some juniors asked if I wanted a drag from their joint but I decline and we all talked about some first shooter video game I had no knowledge about but I pretended to. I left the conversation to go to the bathroom and again I am weaving through sweaty bodies and trying not to spill any beer in the process. Of course, there's a line there has to be almost a hundred people here. In line I hear people gossiping about usual things, "who's hooking up", "She's a bitch", and "he's got a small dick". You get the gist. And then I just keep hearing his name, the town prince.

Roman Godfrey. How I wish people would just not talk about him for once. I know nothing about him but yet I know everything about him. People are trying to tell secrets over the loud music. Everyone is eager to see Roman Godfrey here tonight. I should have known he would make an appearance since after all this is probably going to be the most talked about party until the next great party comes along.

Finally, it's my turn for the bathroom and there's toilet tissue strewn about and puke in the bathtub. Before I leave I look at myself in the mirror, it's the ultimate test to see how fucked up you are. The curls in my long brown hair have fallen but it's okay, my lips are still painted red, and that's all I really ask for.

The house is still abuzz and chaotic but it's a good time. Before heading out to the back deck I grab a can beer out from the kitchen sink full of ice. It's too damn hot I need some brisk fall air. I see a group a girls looking out the bay doors giggling and blushing but it looks like regular gossip demeanor. I pass them and pop the tab to my beer and look up as a toss my head back for a sip and there he is, Roman. He must have made his grand appearance when I was in the bathroom. He stood there with his side to me, a lit cigarette dangled from his lips as he counted a wad of twenties in exchange for some cocaine. He slipped the coke into his blazer pocket. The exchange was nondescript but I was just close enough to notice. He turns on his heel to make his way inside but I'm still there in the door way and he knows I saw the whole exchange and winks at me and without thinking, I roll my eyes back. I know normally I wouldn't feel bad but for some reason I do. He raised his eyebrows at me. He opens his mouth as if to say something but I move out of his way before I noticed. As I looked back to see what he had to say but a group of girls take his attention. I lean with my back to the railing and my elbows rested on the ledge and I take yet another swig of my beer. Roman is there entertaining these underclassmen girls with his charm. He smiles and they giggle, ridiculous. All while watching these fickle exchanges I literally scoffed so loud his eyes meet mine and I don't look away, I wait until he's uncomfortable enough to stop looking at me. He doesn't stop looking but he's still talking to these impressionable girls with his gaze still on me. Annoyed, I toss my beer can off the deck, still looking at Roman and confidently walked past him to go back inside. Roman Godfrey doesn't impress me and he most certainly does not scare me. Not long after I join the crowd inside, I hear my girlfriends beckoning me towards the kitchen, booze central. Natalie and Viv and their respective college boys at their side call for me to take a shot of tequila with them. I feel the cheap tequila burn the whole way to my stomach but immediately I went for a second. I knew I screwed myself over. I was fucked. I was drunk. I was going to hurl.

"Guys, fuck you!" I say as they giggle and smirk because they can see I want to puke my guts. I hate my friends but I love them. It's my fault anyway. I see the line of people by the bathroom, I'm not gonna make it.

"GO TO UP STAIRS BATHROOM!!" I hear Viv yell and I'm hustle my way through the crowd.

I can barely see anything but the bright white light seeping from under the first door I see to my left. I bust through the door and he's there. Roman, cutting up lines for him and a few buddies, all looking at me.

"Get the fuck out!" One of his friends say as he steps up to push me out.

I duck under him and run to the tub and spill my insides. I feel dizzy and hurl again.

I'm coughing as I yell, "GOD DAMN IT", and I heave again. I rest my head on the cold ledge of the bathtub and everything is spinning.

"Okay everyone get out! ...NOW!" I hear Roman say.

I stayed try to push myself up but my legs feel like jello.

"Hey, hey, hey sit down, sit down." Roman has his hand on my shoulders and I push against him. I need to get out of here, I don't want to be in this bathroom with Roman. Even though I puked, the tequila is still fucking me. I can barely make words so I'm stuck to moaning disapprovingly. I twist over enough to sit on my bum and I cross my legs.

"Don't... touch me." I manage to say. And Roman just throws his hands up and mouths "okay, okay".

He backs away a takes a seat on the toilet and I cup my eyes and rest my head in my hands.

"I am so fucking stupid." I thought to myself. "SOBER THE FUCK UP!" I yell in my head. I hear Roman snort a line of coke and I look up at him.

"Really?" I make sure to sound super annoyed but I'm sure I sounded fucked up.

Roman smirks, "Wanna do a bump, it'll sober you up." He winked.

"Prick." I flip him off. I attempt to stand again but I fall back on my ass.

"Shit, hey, hey... chill." He's tucking his coke and paraphernalia into an inside pocket of his black blazer. Roman grabs his solo cup and pours out whatever is in it and fills it back up with sink water.

"Here, drink all this." He crouches down, his green dilated eyes looking back at my half lidded, drunk brown eyes.

I peek an eye down to the bottom of the cup.

"It's water... just water." He puts the cup in my hand and guide it to my lips.

I feel full and he takes the empty cup for a refill and I try getting up again and as I get on my two feet I stumble into the sink counter and I grab Roman to steady myself.

"Oh shit! I got you, I got you." He's holding my left arm and holding on to my right side. "Stop, I'm trying to help you." Roman says as I try pushing him away. I feel him grab my hips and lift me up to sit me on the sink counter and hands me another cup of water. I gulp it down and then I feel it coming back up again. I lean over and hurl into the sink. Roman holding half my hair back and trying not to get sick on him either.

"God... I'm stupid..." But I feel so much better. I slowly hop off the sink. I see that stupid smirk on Roman's face again.

"What did you eat? It's all pink..." he glances from me to my vomit.

"Uhh, pink starbusts..." I'm an idiot, I think. I find my balance and I feel confident enough to leave.

"Okay... well, thank you... I'm gonna go now." I was inching past him.

"Are you sure you're okay? You look awful."

"Okay... well fuck you too.' I reach for the handle. I'm still a little buzzed but I'm okay.

"Raquel." He says my name like he owns it. "You should just, let me take you home."

"No." I roll my eyes again and open the door. Of course, there are people just waiting to see what we were up to but I couldn't care less. I hear someone say "did you suck him up" and "Godfrey, you get some?" Apparently he had followed me right out. I'm walking down the stairs and I feel him still right next to me. We're back on the deck and I can see my breath in the wind this time out. Roman lights a cigarette. I see people inside running scrabbling to get outside. Several people run past us.

"Hey, what fuck is going on?!" Roman calls out to no one in particular. Everyone is flooding the deck.

"COPS!" Someone yells back, "THE FUCKIN COPS MAN!"

Before I can process Roman is pulling my arm and hustling me towards the woods...


	2. Howl

I am stumbling trying to catch my steps as Roman drags me, by my arm, past the yard. Several people are running around with us, having the same idea that the woods would be our escape. As we hit the wooded area behind the house the moon light barely seeps through the thick tree brush. The adrenaline of running from the cops sobered me up. We slow down and he lets go of my arm, without thinking I grab his arm. I can't see anything out here and I'm not going to be left behind. Those that ran in our general direction seem to be gone, its just us in this area. I can turn as still see the house, we're about a mile out into the woods. Roman turns and looks at me and takes his pack of cigarettes out the breast pocket of his blazer. He takes a cig for himself and then offers me one.

"I'm good." I say declining his offer. I'm shivering the temperature plummeted to freezing.

"We'll walk a little further and try to circle back and get my car." Roman lights his cigarette.

We walk in silence for about ten minutes. I let go of Roman and crossed my arms together and center my own body heat. Roman is pushing branches away and I look up to him, the cigarette smoke trailing behind him. He's so tall, I thought.

"You okay back there." He turns his head back. I'm a few paces behind him. He slows down his pace so that we're side by side.

"So... did you still want me to take you home?" He chuckles.

"Well if you want to do the decent thing and not leave me here in these woods, yes." I was annoyed. How in the hell did I get stuck with Roman Godfrey tonight. Roman starts to take his blazer off and tries to put it over my shoulders but I leaned away from him.

"You're shivering Raquel. Just take it..."

"Fine." I snatch it from his hand and wear it. He's left with a white crew neck tucked into black fitted trousers strapped with a simple brown belt.

"Can we circle back yet?" I said and looked down to my white hi top Converse that are now muddied. Just great!

"What are you scared?" He makes an ooooh sound to punctuate his question.

"Ha! No, I just want to get home now. Plus, look at my shoes!" I kicked one of my legs up to display my ruined shoes.

"I can get you new ones princess." He looks at me condescendingly.

I was about to call him an asshole when we heard a piercing scream coming from ahead of us. A strong breeze hits us, rustling leaves. We hear a loud growl that feels like it's all around us rather than a certain direction.

"What. The fuck?!" I say.

"Shhh." He puts a finger to his lips. Another scream echoes through the woods. This time to our right. We can hear something large running, rustling leaves and panting hard. Then as if it appeared out of thin air a large black dog is sniffing around feverishly. Roman grabs my arm and pulls me hard. We dashed into some bushes and crouched down.

"What was that?" I whisper. I am terrified.

"I- I don't know." He puts his head into palms and slides them down his face. I can see sweat glisten from his forehead.

"HELP! OH MY GOD..." We hear the girl's voice again. "Please, my god..." Her voice falters and we hear her weep. Suddenly a growl erupts from the belly of this large creature. A feeling of dread washed over me. I look at Roman and he looks scared too. He peeks over the bushes and his eyes widen.

"Roman..." I whisper. "What is it?" He didn't say word, he looked petrified. I decided to look over bushes and I make direct contact with large ominous yellow eyes. This creature was about a mile away from the both of us but it felt as if it were right in our face. A gasp escaped my lips. Before I could even scream Roman put his hand over my mouth and we both hunkered back down in the bush. We hear the girl running, this time towards our direction.

"Help! ...Please!" Her pleas seemed as if she's given up. "NO!" We both hear a loud visceral crunch sound. We hear the last of a beginning scream to wet choking noises. Then more crunching, wet noise. This freakish dog is eating this girl? I feel tears brim over and stream down my face, I am absolutely terrified. I feel Roman start to pull me back and we crawl out the brushes, we hustle it out of the woods. We run towards a street light but it was actually just someone's back porch light. There's a large chain linked fence and Roman jump over effortlessly.

"What the fuck are you going to leave me?!?" I scream from the other side.

"Just climb over! I'll catch you!" I am hesitant. "Raquel, please just trust me!" I climb over, Roman grabs me by my hips and helps me the rest of the way down. We run towards the backyard gate and find ourselves on the main road the party had been on. We catch our breath.

"Okay... what just happened!?" I run my hands through my hair that is now full of knots and leaves apparently since I pull some out.

"Fuck..." Roman pulls another cigarette and lights it. "I- fuck this is bullshit!" He inhaled his cigarette deeply. "Let's just start walking toward my car. I parked it a few houses down from the party."

We approach Romans vintage red Jaguar. He walks to the passenger side and opens the door for me and points a hand to the seat.

"Hop in, Ms. Raquel Quinn." He raises his eye brows and I roll my eyes back and get in.

We drive in silence for a few minutes. My mind is racing. What just happened, did I just sit back a let someone die? What was that huge animal with those menacing yellow eyes? I look at Roman he's focused on the road, I see he's driving toward Downtown Hemlock Grove. The party was a little out of Hemlock Grove city limits. The radio is playing at a low volume.

"Are you not freaked out?" I ask. He looks over at me, the lights from the dashboard light up his green eyes.

"I can't fully comprehend what the fuck just happened back there..." He tries to sound as if he was unfazed but I saw that look of terror in his eyes. "But yes, I am freaked out." We both fell silent.

"Roman... Did we just hear someone... die tonight?" I bite my lip.

"Sheeit." He let it sigh out of his mouth. "I don't want to think so."

I tell him the directions to my house and I leaned back in the chair allowing myself to relax. Roman isn't that bad, I thought. What a strange night that's lead me to think Roman is a good person. I look out the window only to see more woods out ahead, I look away. Whatever was playing on the radio was chill enough that eventually it lulled me to sleep. When I awoke, I was in a bed now, but not own bed...


	3. Amber Alert

I am alarmed. I push the covers from on top of me. And immediately hop out of this grand bed. I stood in the room my shoes and socks are off and my pants. Though I assess myself mentally and I don’t feel like I’ve been touched. Thank god. I quickly put on my pants and shoes back on. Slowly, I crack open the door that takes me out to the second floor hallway. I turn to my left and it leads to a balcony. The house décor is early 20th century, vintage, and a little museum like. It’s very beautiful. I peer down to the first floor and I don’t see anyone but a house keeper tidying and dusting. She doesn’t acknowledge me.

“Good morning.” I jump. I turn to see Roman, shirtless, wearing sweatpants.

“Jesus Christ!” I say. He smiles and lets out a small chuckle. “Why am I here at your house?”

“Well,” He starts, “You did fall asleep in my car and so I brought you here.”

“So you couldn’t wake me up?”

“You don’t think I tried? You sleep like a rock Raquel!” He’s scratching his lower belly and his fingers rake through his happy trial. “And I didn’t want to carry you into your house.”

“But you carry me into your house?” He shrugged and my stomach rumbled very loudly.

“Hungry?” Roman asked.

“Yeah.” I sheepishly reply and bite my lip.

Roman goes to his room and quickly throws on a dark grey tee shirt as I wait for him by the stairs. He shows me to the kitchen and his sister Shelly is sitting at a small dining table. Shelly taps away at her mobile phone and an automated voice speaks for her.

“Hello.” She gives me a bashful smile and I smile back.

“Shelly this is Raquel, Raquel this is Shelly.” Roman introduced us nonchalantly. Shelly types way with her stylus.

“You’re in my elective art class.” Her surrogate voice responds for her.

“Yeah, I’m a few easels behind you.” I wink at her.

Shelly was always so sweet. She was different but she never let that change her kind character. Shelly gets up from the table and she’s like a tower, even taller than Roman. She explains to Roman that she is leaving to see Dr. Pryce. As she exited the kitchen, I could hear her boots clunking in the distance. In the time that Roman was interacting with Shelly, he had begun to cook us eggs and toast. I lifted a brow at him.

“Wow, you don’t have someone to do that for you?” I said.

“Well, yes I do but I wanted to be hospitable.” He smirked.

“Well, be careful you don’t want to break a sweat.”

“HA.HA.Ha.” He exaggerates and tosses his head back.

He finishes cooking and places a plate in front of me on the kitchen island. While he fixes himself a plate, I sandwich the scrambled eggs in between the toast. He didn’t do a bad job, I mean you can’t really fuck up eggs. We both eat in silence besides the chewing noises. I can feel his eyes on me and I glace at him from time to time. It feels as though he’s examining me, trying to read me. It’s a bit annoying but I don’t show it outwardly. Roman’s text alert rings and he pulls his iPhone out of his pocket. As he reads his text, his eye widen.

“Come with me.” He hurriedly walks to an entertainment room and I follow. He turns on the largest TV I’ve ever seen and tunes it to the local new channel.

Several news stations are broadcasting live at the scene of the party. Roy Bennett, who threw the party is speaking with his parents at his side. Roy apologizes for the party and is in near tears.

“I can’t believe this had happened. She was such a cool girl. My thoughts are with Alexi Cartwright’s family.” His parents at the side of him look displeased with their son but also sympathetic.

“Holy shit…” I say.

I remember Alexi, at the party dancing near Natalie and Viv, smiling and throwing her hands in the air. She was even a few people behind me in line to the bathroom. I saw her alive and then I heard her last words. I felt numb.

“Isn’t that your friend?” Roman says. I tune my attention back to the screen it was Natalie speaking.

“I can’t believe it and I don’t want to believe anything happened…” She starts to sob, she tries to stop herself but is unable to. The camera cuts back to the reporter.

“That was Natalie Sinclair speaking in regards of friend Raquel Quinn. Whom has since been missing since the night of the party.” Roman and I both give each other the ‘Oh shit’ look. “At this time we would like everyone to be cautious of the woods as we don’t know what large animal has cause this unfortunate attack. Tune in this evening at six.”

“SHIT! Let me see your phone! Mine is dead!” Roman quickly unlocks his phone and hand it to me.

I call my mom and she’s half way screaming at me while also saying how happy she is I’m okay. I explain to her why I wasn’t home but that I’m okay. In the meantime Roman had left to take a shower and change.

“Do you know anything about Alexi?” My mother asks worriedly.

“No mom,” I lie. “Roman and I just circled around the block, we never went into the woods.” This is probably horrible to admit but I’m a great liar.

“Okay, and you’re with the Godfrey boy?” I answered ‘yes’ annoyingly. “You two didn’t…” My mother starts.

“NO mom!” I tell her that I’ll be home a soon as possible.

“Okay well I’ll let the police know that you are fine and safe.”

“The Hemlock Grove Police!? Really mom? It seriously hasn’t been 24 hours yet!” I huff.

“Well a girl was murdered Raquel!” That shut me up.

I finished the call with my mother and then I called Natalie and luckily Viv was in her presence, which saves me a call.

"Hello? It's Raquel." Loud screams screetch through the line. I tell them that I was A-Okay and the both sound so relieved. I then tell them that I was currently with Roman.

Together they both said, “Roman, GODFREY?!” The both giggle maniacally. I roll my eyes back.

“Okay ladies, this has been a hell of a day I’ll see you both Monday at school.”

“But WAIT DID YOU SUCK HIS D—“ I hung up. Viv says it so loud I may as well as had it on speaker. I turn around only to see Roman standing at the door way. His hair neatly slicked back, he's dressed similar to the night before.

“How long have you been there?” I feel my cheeks getting red.

“Long enough.” He lifts his eyebrows. “Those girls you hang out with are something.”

“So are we going to tell the cops what we saw last night?” I change the subject. He walks past me and takes a seat on the arm of a couch.

“No.” He firmly states.

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“If we tell them that we were there, the cops are going to think we had some shit to do with it.” He digs in his blazer pocket.

“But we don’t.” He lights he cigarette and locks his eyes on mine.

“Listen, we not going to say shit. Besides, cops are fucking idiots they don’t think, they just like to point fingers.” He takes a deep drag of his cigarette. “You want one?” He offers me a cigarette again. Fuck it, I thought. He lights the cig for me. “You’re looking stressed.” He chuckles. “Now, let’s get you home amber alert.”


	4. Embarassing

The ride to my house from Roman's palace was fairly short. He has some good music taste so we mostly nodded our head along instead of talking. He pulled up to my house and I'm having a hard time trying to unbuckle myself. Roman tosses his cigarette and takes my hands off, he jiggles it a bit and it comes loose. I look up at him and that's when I realize how close our faces were to each other. We both pause, just staring at each other. I feel my heart race and my senses leave me. Roman puts his hand through my hair. His eyes lock away from mine but he's still looking at me. I feel confused and I blush.

"What... Are you trying to kiss me?" I might blush but I'm not bashful.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" Roman asks coyly.

We both of us went for it. Kissing lightly then we let it go deeper. I slid my hand in his hair tugging lightly at it. Both of our full lips felt like plush cushions against each other. His hand leaves my hair and on to my hip, pulling at me. I'm half way onto his lap when we stop. I push my hair back and he does the same to his.

"Well... I'll see you at school." I see that my face is flushed pink in the rear view mirror.

"Um, do you want a ride?" He puts a cigarette to his lips. Does this kid even breathe real air?

"Uh, sure." I wanted to say no at first. I exit the car and I hear Roman call my name as I start walking towards my house. I turn.

"Raquel, stay out of the woods! Trust me!" He winks and takes off in his red jag.

I enter my house and my parents hug me. I let them know I am very tired and they both nod understandingly. I go up the stairs and fall onto my bed. I had to be in the same position for about a full hour feeling, just plain, weird. I got up to take a shower which is private, all to myself. I stand in the shower letting the water hit my head and face, I close my eyes. Images flash through my head. Alexi dancing, Roman's lips, cigarette smoke, the reflection of my drunk face, the woods, Roman's eyes, those big yellow eyes in the woods...

"Fuck my life." I thought. "You basically see someone's murder and the next day you make out with Roman Godfrey!?!?" I put my forehead on the cold backsplash tile. Who am I right now?

I lay in bed, my hair wrapped in a towel, and I turn on the TV in my room. All the news stations are talking about Alexi Cartwright. I turn it off. My head hits the pillow and I am dead to the world.

Sunday went by and soon I was getting dressed for school this rainy Monday morning. I throw on a distressed jean jacket over a worn out loose grey crop top. I button up my black skinny jeans and lace up my dirty ass white converse. I grab my book bag and head downstairs to wait for Roman. I can't believe I'm waiting for Roman. My brother, Liam, comes out from the kitchen and asks if I'm ready and I tell him I've got a ride. Liam just shrugs assuming I've got a ride with Natalie or Viv. He leaves.

Not long I hear a honk outside. It's Roman in his red jaguar. I run out, covering my face so that my winged eyeliner doesn't run.

"Good morning, Ms. Quinn." He says as I enter. I say hi.

When we reached the school parking lot everyone was out mourning and some socializing. Outside was a huge banner with Alexi's face the phrase 'Rest in Paradise Sweet Angel'. Her blue eyes were so bright in the photo. I hop out of Roman's car and start walking towards the entrance when I noticed that everyone was staring at me. I look around a people whisper. 'I heard she did it' and 'she went missing cause whatever was out there held her hostage' among various bullshit. I feel Roman grab my arm and basically drag me inside.

"Do you fucking here what people were saying outside?!" I am pissed.

"What? Them thinking you gave me a blowjob in the bathroom at the party?" He smirked.

"Asshole! No, people think I know about what happened to Alexi!"

"But you don't know anything that happened," he reminded me, "So stop."

The rest of the day was pretty painless besides the random criers and stares. Everyone talked to me normally. Probably because the biggest issue going on in Hemlock Grove High was that Alexi Cartwright is now a dead girl. Those that really knew her weren't even at school, they stayed home to cry. Basically everyone crying today and just being pseudo sad and attention seeking. Don't get me wrong Alexi was pretty well known throughout these halls but everyone here are just upset over the idea of a young promising girl dying alone in the cold dark woods. But she wasn't alone...

I meet Natalie and Viv at lunch outside since the rain had stopped. They both give me rib crushing hugs. Besides them wanting to know my wellbeing they mostly want to know about Roman, of course they do.

"So," Natalie starts, "did anything happen." She pokes at my ribs.

"No," I roll my eyes back, "Nothing like what you two are thinking."

"Then what?! Admit it 'Quel he's an asshole but he's fuckin hot." Viv says.

"He looks like he's packin' too!" Natalie adds. We all burst laughing which gives us some fucked up looks so we quickly purse our lips.

"Okay, okay. Well we did make out when he dropped me off." I feel my cheeks get hot.

"You dirty skank!" They both say together.

"Damn, you made out with Prince Godfrey!" Viv says.

"Please, Viv do say it louder." We see Roman walk outside with Peter Rumancek.

"Oooh there he is Raquel." Nat says.

Peter Rumancek was somewhat new to Hemlock Grove, he's been here for about three months. Hardly anyone new comes to the Grove so he still holds the title as the 'new kid'. Upon his arrival people gave him shit, called him wolf boy, of all the insults out in the world. People here are stupid. He didn't seem bad. Roman and him because quit friends which was bizarre as Roman up until Peter came had no friends, well besides his cousin Letha.

"Call me crazy but I think Rumancek's vibe is kind of sexy." Natalie points out. "It's probably the leather jacket to be honest."

"Didn't know you were into bestiality!" Viv responds and Nat appropriately calls her a bitch.

I looks over and see Roman and Peter, they look tense and seem like their arguing a bit. Roman lights a cigarette with the tip of his lit cigarette and hands it to Peter. Peter notices me staring and he quickly turns and I can tells he's saying something to Roman about me. Roman looks at me and gives me a little two finger salute with the cigarette in hand, I give back a little nod. Nat and Viv giggle and tease me some more.

My last course of the day is English Literature. Roman and Peter share this class with me. None of us sit remotely close to each other either. I sit in the second column in the middle, peter sits in the very middle of everyone, and Roman sits a few columns over near the back. We're all reading Mary Shelley's Frankenstein in class and people are taking turning reading. I generally use this time to draw, or daydream, or text Nat or Viv in their classes. A note gets passed to me. It's a drawing of a pair of lips and it was signed by Roman. I turn to give him a 'what the fuck' look and he just smirks. The last bell of the day rings.

As I am walk in the hall way, Roman jogs up next to me.

"So I can't give you a ride, I have important business with Peter." He says apologetically.

"That's fine. My brother is driving our car." I say walking into the parking lot.

"Okay, well let me give you my number real fast." I give him my phone. "The password?"

"1969." He raises his brow. "The year of Woodstock, Jesus." He rings his phone from my cell.

"Alright I've got your number too. If anything comes up or happens call me. I'll be over." He hands my phone back.

"What do you mean if anything happens?" We approach my car my brother is in the driver seat watching.

"Just trust me, okay?" He looks like he knows more than what he's letting on. I say bye to him. "Raquel," I turn before I get in the car, "Promise me, you'll call? For anything?"

"Yes, I promise, okay." He gives me a nod and a wink before he walks off.

I get in the car and my brother Liam is staring at me disapprovingly. He's a junior, a grade below me. He's not particularly fond of Roman. I mean neither was I, up until a few nights ago.

"Really Raquel? You're friends with Godfrey?" He huffs. "You are so embarrassing!"

"Embarrassing?!" I say back.

"Yes! You go 'missing'," he adds air quotations, "and now you're buddying up with Godfrey? You know what people are saying about you two being in the bathroom at the party?"

"I fucking know what people are saying, I have ears you ass! Shit didn't happen in the bathroom and besides even if I did do anything people are saying I did, it no one's damn business!" Liam doesn't argue back instead he just starts the car and drives home. We were silent the whole way.

As we pull onto the block, we see cop cars parked in the front of our house. We pull into the drive way and the sheriff is talking to my parents. I walk up to them.

"Hello, so you're Raquel." He gives me a handshake. "I'm Sheriff Tom Sworn. A colleague of mine is on her way and I was wondering if we could ask you a few questions?"


	5. Trust

After Sheriff Sworn introduces himself another car pulls up the Sheriffs car. A petite woman exits the large brown bronco. She walks up to the porch. Her hazel eyes were mesmerizing against her light caramel skin.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Clementine Chasseur from Fish and Wildlife Services." She shakes my hand. "I'm sure Sheriff Sworn mentioned that we'd like to talk to you." Sworn nodded his head confirming to Chasseur that he had. "Perfect."

"Um Mr. and Mrs. Quinn if we may. We'd like to talk to Raquel in private." Sheriff Sworn asked but it was more like a demand. My parents agreed and walked into the house.

"So, to my understanding you went missing-"

"I wasn't missing I stayed the night with a friend and forgot to phone my parents about it."

"Right, so Roy Bennett's party was broken up by the Hemlock Grove Police." I nod. "Can you tell us step by step where you went after the cops arrived?" Dr. Chasseur pulls a note pad from her satchel.

"Well, I was on the dock and I just saw a stampede of people rushing to the back yard. So I ran with them."

"From various witness, the sheriff and I came to understand that you were with Roman Godfrey for part of the night, is that correct?" I nod, yes. "Okay, so where did you run to?"

"We ran around the block," I lie, "so that we can circle around back to Roman's car."

"The red Jaguar?" Sworn ask.

"Yes his jag."

"Okay, well it's also in our understanding that you and Godfrey aren't generally friends?"

"Well, no. We've had a few interactions at school."

"But nothing further until a few days ago?" I nod. "Do you have any knowledge of Peter Rumancek being at the same party?"

"No, Peter wasn't there... Wait? You said work for Fish and Wildlife?" She nods. "So why these questions?"

"Well, Raquel" Sheriff Sworn interjects, "we know you were in the woods the night Alexi Cartwright was murdered." I can hear my heart beat in my ears. "To our knowledge you and Roman ran from out the woods and jumped over the Atwood's fence and they told us you two ran through their back yard to the road in front of their house."

"Plus, I can tell that the kind of mud on your shoes is the same from the woods." Dr. Chasseur adds. I look down at my muddied converse. "Well, when you're ready to let us know what kind of animal you saw that night please ring us, if not we'll just come by again." She hands me her business card.

"We'll be in touch." Sheriff Sworn says and tips his hat at me.

My parents ask me if everything is alright, I just say yes so that they wouldn't ask me any questions. I run up stairs and phone Roman.

"Hey, the cops just came by my house and-"

"I'll be over right now."

"But wait they left." I say but I hadn't noticed that he had already hung up.

I'm pacing in my room. What if the cops think I did something to Alexi? Why did they ask me about Peter if he wasn't even at the party to begin with? Dr. Chasseur, the damn Fish and Wildlife expert didn't even ask me about the fucking demon dog that is out there? I can't believe my life right now. I am now under the police's radar and they've painted Roman and me as some Bonnie and Clyde duo. I am dreaming, this has to be a nightmare. Sadly, a car honks outside of my house, it pulls me back to my reality. I look out my window to see an old beat up station wagon. I go downstairs and tell my parents I'll be out. Outside I see Roman leaning on the passenger door smoking a cigarette and Peter sitting on the side of the hood smoking as well.

"You can't seem to get yourself out of trouble can you?" Roman says sarcastically. I look at Peter not wanting to ignore his presence.

"Hey, I'm Peter." He sticks out his hand for me to shake. "Roman's told me about you."

"Okay," I am irritated, "can someone tell me why the fuck the cops came over asking me shit?" Peter gave Roman and concerned look.

"Yeah, but not here." Roman opens the back passenger door and I get in.

Peter drives a little ways out near the border of Hemlock Grove city limits. We walk down stairs to a trailer in front of the creek that runs through the whole city. Peter opens the door for us and I take a seat on the sofa. The house smells like incents and weed, frankly. Peter's cat hops on my lap and startles me.

"Casper! Get off." The cat runs into another room.

"Okay, first tell us what the cops were asking you." Roman says and takes a seat on the sofa opposite of me.

I give them the gist of the whole interrogation. I would say conversation but let's face it. I mention how Dr. Chasseur said the Atwood's seen us come out the woods and that she asked about Peter.

"She asked me about you too, Peter." Roman says he offers all of us a cigarette. I take one.

"Wait did Sheriff Sworn and this Dr. Chasseur talk to you two as well?" I take a drag.

"Yeah they both gave us two a visit this Sunday." Peter says.

"Okay, but why would she come talk to you and also ask me and Roman about you when you were never at the party?" I say. "It makes no fucking sense."

Roman looks at Peter and he is shaking his head no. They are keeping something from me.

"Roman..." Peter says.

"Peter she saw the fucking werewolf shit too."

"That is not the same, Roman." Peter argues back.

"You can trust her... Peter, I trust her." Roman pleas.

"You're so fucked Roman." He takes a deep drag of his cigarette. Peter gets up out of the dining chair he pulled up to sit with us and sits on the coffee table in front of me. Roman gets up to watch our interaction. Peter grabs the cigarette from my hand and put it out, he then takes my hands in his.

"Raquel can I trust you?" He's hovered a little above me, his blue eyes trying it's best to read me. I nod yes. "I'm going to need you to listen to everything I have to say first without you asking questions, okay?" I nod. "That "demon dog" you saw in the woods with Roman was a werewolf," my eyes widen, "but its sick. It's what we gypsies call a vargulf. If Roman and I don't do something about it there are going to be more people like Alexi Cartwright out there." Peter finishes and lets go of my hands which I didn't notice that I was gripping hard.

"Okay..." I look at both of them, "You have a beer or anything stronger...?" I need a fuckin drink to make sense of this. Roman smirks and walks to the kitchen and brings me back a glass.

"Vodka." He hand me the cup. I take a big gulp and lean back into the sofa.

"Okay, you said that big ass animal in the woods the other night was a... werewolf?" They both nod. "And it's a sick werewolf?" They both nod again and I take another sip of the vodka. "And you know it's a werewolf... how exactly?" Roman and Peter look at each other.

"It's because Peter is one too." Peter and I lock eyes.

"My god..." I smack my hand to my forehead.

"I know this all sounds insane, Raquel. You just have to unlearn everything you know about the world you thought you knew." I felt my eyes tear up but I held it in.

"Can I go outside for some air for a second?" I got up and drank the rest of the vodka left in my glass. Outside the air hit me and it was refreshing. I feel a little buzzed but I feel good. I looked around and see that the creek pulls into a little pond in front of Peters house, the water is still. Past the pond and the trees you can see Roman's palace sitting on top of a hill. I sit down on a pile of old tires and put my face into my hands. I can't believe I'm not trying to run away and escape these lunatics. Did they really say the word, werewolf, in a serious manner? They weren't talking about Hollywood's werewolf they were talking about Hemlock Grove's, special breed of werewolf, like a real fucking werewolf! Skin walker by day and furry wolf by moonlight, fucking werewolf!? I am losing it. I feel tears stream down my face, I am so confused. I hear someone walking towards me. I peek through my fingers and see Roman in front of me. I feel his arms encircle me and I just cry even harder. We were like that for at least 5 minutes until I willed myself to stop.

"What fuck man?" I sniffle. "Why is this happening?"

"Raquel... they have always been around this is just the first time you're realizing it." He takes a handkerchief out of his back pocket and wipes tears from my face. "Everything is going to be okay."

"So what am I going to do?" I ask. He takes a deep breath.

"You're going to help us." He puts his finger under my chin and kisses me.

"Stop." I said and break the kiss off.

"Do you hate me that much?"

"I barely know you. I know I made out with you the other day and-"

"I know I get it. I'm an asshole. I'm sorry" He lights a cigarette.

"You are an asshole but not the asshole you want people to believe you are." He raises his eyebrows. "I don't know..." I look away.

"I've always liked you, you know." I look back at him. "Ever since we were kids." He exhaled the smoke. "You're not like everyone here in Hemlock. You don't belong here, you belong in a big city like New York, Toronto or something. I don't know." He looks at the ground I've never seen Roman this vulnerable before. "You have a right to deny my advances... I am a piece of shit. I mean I know you've heard of the shit I've done. I just want you to know I don't feel like myself when kiss you. Not in a bad way. You don't feel like everyone else either. With you I don't have to shield myself." He takes a drag. "Sorry I don't know if I'm making sense. Sounds stupid, huh." I stand up and grab the lapels on his blazer and pull him down to kiss me. He lifts me back on top of a higher pile of old tires so that our height difference isn't so severe. I wrap my legs around his waist, my hands are gripping at the middle of his back. My body is pulsing. Roman has a hand through my hair again pulling it gently and the other at my ribs. I grab that hand and put it on my boob for him. We break for a minute to breath but Roman continues to kiss my neck and I bite my lip. We lock lips again. Roman snakes his hand under my shirt and under my bra and continues to feel me. I move my hands to the front of him and start to untuck his button up. He bites my lip hard, I taste blood and feel his tongue in my mouth. I run my hands over the bulge in his slacks before hooking my fingers over to slide his trousers down. He stops me.

"We can't do this here..." He pants. That's when I realized where we still were.

"Damn it." I pout. Roman tucks his shirt back in his trousers and I can see that he's still hard.

"C'mon. Let me fix you up." I jump into his hands and he eases me to the ground. He pushes my hair into place and pulls my shirt down. I fix the lapels on his blazer.

"I really wanted to you know." I look up at his big green eyes. He smirks.

"I've never met someone that can do, what you can do to me."

"What? You don't think there are girls that like sex and aren't ashamed?"

"Well... not high school girls." I roll my eyes.

We enter the trailer and peter is smoking a joint and scrolling through his phone. He lifts a brow at us.

"Well, glad you two could joint me again. You two have fun?" Peter hands the joint to Roman and he takes a puff. "Look what I just got." He flips his phone to show us a Facebook invitation to another party for this weekend.

"Castle Godfrey?" I ask.

"The old steel mill on the other side of town." Roman says.

"That's our next lead." Peter proclaims.


	6. Steel

The school week went by. Throughout the week the student body received visits from grieve counselors and the principle would make the rounds to lecture us on safety, the buddy system, and advised us to stay out of the woods at night. I hadn't received any surprise visits from Sheriff Sworn or Dr. Chasseur, at least not yet. After the last bell of the school week I met my brother at his locker.

"Hey, can you let mom and dad know I'm going to be with Natalie and Viv this weekend?" I say.

"Yeah sure." He say grabbing books from out his locker. "We'll if they call and ask you tell them I'm with Benny and Thomas."

"Are you going out tonight to the party at the steel mill?" I try my best to be nonchalant.

"You trying to take the car out?" I nod, no. "Okay, well yeah, why?"

"I can't ask? Well don't forget the buddy system little brother." He rolls his eyes

"I don't know why you're even asking, everyone is going to night." I stand there awkwardly. "I guess I'll see you there." Liam throws his book bag around his back. We say our goodbyes.

I reach the parking lot and Roman is leaning on his car, smoking a cigarette.

"About time." He opens the passenger door for me.

Roman drives to his house and we get ready for the party there. I touch up my makeup and change up my outfit. I wore a black skater skirt and a crushed red velvet crop top with high heeled boots. Roman gave me an approving look. He wore a grey v neck, a black cardigan and fitted blue jeans with black swede oxfords. I sat on the bathroom sink as I watched him fix his hair, a joint dangles from his lips he passes it over to me and I take a puff. I blow smoke rings in his direction. He finishes slicking his hair back. He puts his comb down and stands in front of me now. He leans down and we kiss deeply. He holds me tight, with his hand behind me he pulls my top off. He kisses my neck and I wrap my legs around his waist. He reaches around me and unclasps my bra and he starts to suck on my nipples. I throw my head back and moan. I put my hand on his head I look down as he caresses and sucks my boobs. He comes back up and kisses me, it stifles my loud moans. Suddenly, he breaks free and I feel my bra hitting me in the face. Roman backs away and laughs.

"You dick!" I ditch the bra and put my shirt back on instead.

"Can you be any louder?" He laughs.

We go downstairs and see his cousin Letha talking to Shelly in their grand living room. Letha is visibly pregnant now, she has her hand on her belly. She comes over to give Roman a hug. She looks at me and then to Roman. He introduces us.

"Hi, yeah I know your brother, Liam?" I nod. "He's a sweetheart."

"Is there something in need to know about Liam?" He raise a brow at both of us.

"Roman please do shut up." Letha says. "Are you two going to the steel mill tonight?"

"Excuse me? You think you should be going out to parties in your condition?" Roman says sarcastically. Letha rolls her eyes.

"Funny Roman. No, I just want to let you know to be careful that weird demon dog is still out there, you know. I can't believe everyone is still trying to party after what happened last week." She looks over to Shelly and she stands up. "Shelly and I are going to have a girl's night." Shelly grunts with excitement. "So we'll see you later."

"Okay, well stay in tonight okay." He gives Letha and hug and kisses the top of Shelly's bandaged hand. The both walk out and before Letha walks out she turns to me.

"Nice meeting you Raquel." She gives a little wave goodbye.

Roman and I waste time talking about things like what radio song we hate, our favorite shows, what we want to do after we graduate, we start getting deeper. He tells me about his mom Olivia and his father's suicide. I tell him I've never experienced anything quite tragic and he says not many people have. We talk about us. Friends? Yes. Fuck buddies? Not quite. Couple? No. Dating? Yes. He asks me about boys I've dated and I tell him they don't matter. He seemed happy with that answer. I just tell him that I'm attracted to assholes and that's about it. He laughs. I ask him about who he's dated. He says they're nothing more other than someone to fuck. I ask him is that's what I am too and he says no and that he would have already fucked me if that was the case. Touché, I say. Before we know it the sun had set and it was about time to leave.

"So peter is going to meet us there." Roman tells me as we approach his car. I say okay. We were listening to music full blast as we drive to the old steel mill. Roman turns the dial down suddenly.

"Déjà vu!" He smiles. "We had a dream about this... Me and Peter."

"What do you mean?" I give him a puzzling look.

"Peter and I share dreams sometimes." He says this like it's something completely normal.

"You two are fucking psychotic." He laughs.

"Do you want to know what I have to say or not?" He looks at me and I shrug and then turns his head back to the road. "Anyways, we both saw you coming. Not like you, you. It's weird to explain but we knew someone was coming but we didn't know who until you came into the picture." My brows furrow in confusion. "It was funny for a minute me and Peter would bet on who it could be."

"Did you ever guess it would be me?"

"It was more like joke guesses." So that's his way of saying no. "I kept saying Ashley Valentine, just to annoy Peter." We laugh.

"God she's so airheaded!"

"And a bitch!" Roman adds.

"Who did Peter guess?"

"Letha. That fucker!" He laughs.

We pull up to the mill and the party was already going off. We could hear the music playing from where we were parked.

"Is not weird to you that someone just planned a party on your family's property?" I ask.

"No one comes here for anything. Not even the homeless, it's not a big deal." He shrugs.

He reaches across me putting one hand on my thigh, its cold. He grabs a cigarette box from the glove compartment. We sit in the car and watch people arrive and enter the large warehouse. Cigarette smoke dances around us. Roman gets a text and lets me know that Peter is around the other side watching. He toss his cigarette out the car.

"Okay so here's the plan for tonight." Roman starts. "Peter is going to be around the area."

"But not physically at the party?" I ask.

"Right. And... it's also a full moon tonight."

"Right..."

"He'll be here as long as he can until, you know. So we're going into the party." Roman points ahead. "To see who's around, you're my eyes and ears girl. I'll be doing the same."

"Okay that sounds easy."

"And please don't get fucked up like last weekend," I roll my eyes, "matter of fact you can't drink at all."

"Okay fuck you! And that looks suspicious on my part! People know I like to have a good time." I argue back.

"Jesus Christ!" He annunciates 'Jesus' with a hard z sound. "Okay, you can keep up your usual appearance," He says with air quotations, "but watch yourself there's not a bathtub here for you to barf in." He laughs.

"Ha!" I flip him off.

"One more thing, please don't stray too far out of my sight and text me if you see any weird shit." I nod.

We decide to enter the warehouse one at a time. I go first, I quickly spot Natalie and Viv they hand me a beer. Roman enters and all eyes are on him. He gives a two finger wave and walks up a small flight of stairs to the platform the DJ is on. He fists bumps one guy and gets handed some coke. He leans forward on the rail and looks directly at me and winks.

"Damn bitch." Nat sees me staring at him too. I turn and talk to them and I look around them to see anything weird or suspicious. I see my brother talking to Alexa Sworn the other half to Alyssa Sworn, the sheriff's daughters. They're passing a joint back and forth. I see Christina Wendall next to them looking awkward and out of place. Kind of weird seeing her at a party but the Sworn Cunts are her friends are here so I can understand that. Nat and Viv drag me places with them sometimes. I take a drink from my beer. Nat and Viv leave to go dance and I go up to the platform with Roman.

"See anything weird?!" He shouts in my ear over the loud speakers. I mouth the word no.

On the platform we can survey every part of the warehouse. Bodies crushing and grinding each other. The energy is so hyped. I throw my empty beer can into the crowd. No one even noticed it. Roman and I scoot back into the shadowed area of the platform. He takes out a bump with a coke spoon and takes a hit. I give him an annoyed look.

"Gotta stay frosty." He wipes at his nose.

We do most of our vigilante surveillance from the platform. I drink a few beers and I'm a little buzzed. Roman and I are shitty at this job. Nothing looks suspicious at least. I need to go to the bathroom and get some of this alcohol out of my system.

"Where can I go pee?" I yell over the speaker.

"There's a bathroom if you go down here and to the right." He points it out. "The plumbing is a hit or miss though." I start to walk off and he grabs my arm. "Take someone with you!"

I see Viv not too far way and wave her over. We both walk into the bathroom together. It was mess and we can audibly hear stifled moans the last stall.

"Okay hurry up it smells like straight ass in here!" Viv points out.

"Okay hold on I'll be quick." I squat over the toilet. It's so vile in here, my god. Viv is telling how she's going to meet Nick Walker and hook up in his car. I call her and skank and she laughs. I hear the restroom door open.

"Uh are you okay?" I hear Viv ask.

"What?" I say as I exit the stall.

She was talking to Christina Wendall. She was staring at Viv and then strikes her gaze at me. She was sweaty and had a frantic look in her eyes. She stood there like a statue. Eric Manning and Karen King walk out of the last stall together and see this awkward scene we were in. Christina gives them a deathly stare.

"Christina what's wrong?" I put my hand on her shoulder and she violently shrugs me off.

"Don't touch me, bitch!" She says.

"The fuck weirdo bitch!?" Viv says. Christina bolts out of the bathroom. "God what was that?" I shrug and we go back out to the party.

I go back up to the platform and Roman notices my annoyed demeanor.

"Look I'm sorry, I won't do coke around you okay." He says a cigarette smoke releases from his mouth.

"What?!" I noticed what my body language was saying to him. "Ugh, no I'm not worried about that. I mean I am but anyways I'm not mad about that. It was Christina Wendall she got all weird and aggro in the fuckin bathroom but whatever."

"The freshmen girl?" He hands me a beer and I nod. "Weird. This isn't the type of place I'd expect to see her." He takes a sip from his beer.

"Anything from Peter?" I ask.

"Said everything looked alright before he went wolf." I purse my lips and look at the crowd. Christina Wendall wasn't here anymore. She must be tripping on bad drugs, who knows.

The night was mostly uneventful from then on. Just a regular party nothing crazy and most importantly no cops. Roman and I decided to leave. This lead was a bust.

Roman and I get to his car. It's early in the morning, the time on the dash reads 1:43 AM.

"Can you even drive?" I toss my beer bottle out from his car and hear the glass smash to peices.

"Well do you want to walk? Cause we're both fucked."

We stick around a little while longer see those who leave and enter again. Nothing unusual mostly just people leaving to hook up in their cars. Roman turns and looks at me.

"I'm getting kind of bored. Are you?" I know what he's suggesting.

"I'm alright." I shrug. He rolls his eyes.

I reach over to his seat. He relaxes into the seat. I snake my hand into his pocket and take out his pack of cigarettes. I sit back in my chair and laugh.

"Jesus Christ!" Roman says. Blowing out his cigarette smoke loudly.

He pulls me to him and kisses me. I go over to his seat and straddle him. Roman tosses his cigarette and grabs my ass to pull me closer to him. I trail my hands down and start unbuttoning his jeans. I can tell he likes the fact that I never put my bra back on as he is kneading my breasts and bite my neck. I'm lightly grinding on him. He reaches one hand around me and slides it over my bottom. He reaches his hand in further, pushes my panties aside, and I feel his fingers inside me. I moan and start grinding harder. He starts with one finger, he looks at me gauging my reaction. I lift my shirt over my boobs. His eyes look hungrily at them. He sticks another finger in and I moan. He's beginning to find a rhythm that meets my hip movements. I'm panting. I want him. I lean into him and kiss him hard, pulling his hair which pushes his head back. He looks at me and he knows I want him. He takes his fingers out from in me and pulls my shirt down.

"What the fuck?" I say.

"Not here..." He pushes me off gently. I sit back in the passenger seat.

"Then where?" I argue. He's buttoning up his jeans, I can see the outline of his erection.

He doesn't saying anything he just speeds off.


	7. Bait

Roman pulls up to his house. We hardly talked the way back from the party, the sexual tension was too much. He drove fast, I gripped the side of the seat most of the way over. We enter the house and it's eerily quiet and nearly pitch black. He takes my hand and we walk up stairs to his bedroom. It's has all its boyish charm. Clothes strewn about and it smells like cologne and cigarettes. The door closes behind us. With my hand still in his, he whips me around so that I am in front of him. He then pulls me to him and kisses me. I start to pull his tucked shirt out of his pants. He puts his hands on my ass and lifts me up onto his hips. Walking to the bed he basically throws me on the mattress. I watch him effortlessly unbutton his jeans and take off his shirt. I kick my shoes off. He rubs his erection through his boxer briefs before crawling on top of me. His body is in between my legs and leans down and kisses me deeply. He trails kisses from my lips down to my neck and quickly pulls my shirt off. He kisses my breasts and keeps trailing down. Sliding his hands down the outer side of my thighs he pulls my skirt off. He points a finger on the start of my slit and runs it down. I shiver. He's knelling in front of me and I watch him closely. My panties are pulled down my legs. He buries his face into me and licks and sucks at my nub. I moan loudly and run my fingers through his hair. One hand reaches up to grab my boob and I arch my lower back, wanting more of his tongue. After a few minutes he's kneeling in front of me again and pulls his boxer briefs down. His erection springs free. I start to pull at him, wanting him inside me but he pushes my arms down to my sides. He teases me with the tip of his penis. I close my eyes and throw my head back. It's torture. I feel him position himself at my entrance and I bite my lip in anticipation.

"Look at me." I hear him say. His green eyes staring at me intently. He has a hand at the crook at my neck and adds light pressure. "Don't look away." I nod.

He pushes into me and I let out a loud gasp. This wasn't my first time but it stung a bit considering his admirable girth. He leans down to kiss me while he thrusts slowly. A while after he rolls us over so that I am on top. I place my hands on either side of his neck with my thumbs going across. I ride him. I see him reach the nightstand and he slides out a box cutting blade hidden under the base of the lamp. He fiddles with it in one hand and his other pushes me down on him, so that he's deeper. I lean down to kiss at his neck. I feel something wet from his thumb as he circles my nipple. I lean back and see that it is blood. He notices the alarm on my face and he pulls me down to kiss him before I am able to say anthing. He rolls us over again so that he's on top, he thrusts harder and deeper, I feel as though I might scream. I'm moaning loudly, I tell him not to stop. I arch my back as I meet his last thrust. He pulls out and cums on my belly. Roman pants into my neck, I can feel his damp forhead on my cheek, he rolls over next to me. We're both looking at the ceiling, catching our breath. Holy shit, I thought. We turn and looked at each other and we just burst laughing. Roman gives me a peck and gets up to dig in his jean pocket for his pack of cigarettes. I watch his bare bottom walk to his private bathroom and he brings me a damp wash cloth and starts to wipe at my stomach and my nipple that had been painted red. I was about to ask him why he had did that but he speaks before I could.

"It's just a thing I'm into..." He looks a little apologetic.

"Well, it wasn't that weird..." I lied. "I mean you distracted me pretty well." He smirked.

"Can you hand me that lighter on the night stand next to you?" He asks.

I lean over and flick the lighter on for him, he leans in and steadies my hand with his. I see that my black panties are still at the very edge of the bed and I put them back on. Roman gets up for that last time to get a new pair of boxer briefs from his drawer. I ask him if I could sleep in one of his shirts and he tosses me a black v neck. The moonlight shines brightly through his window. I doesn't take us long to fall asleep.

The sun now lights the room. I wake up to Roman arguing with someone on the phone.

"Are you fucking kidding me!? We were there until it died down!... We didn't see anything suspicious!" He sees that I am up and I can hear Peters voice yelling at him. "Fuck! He hung up on me!" He runs a hand in his hair, he looks stressed. "C'mon, get up."

He pulls me out of the bed with him. He power walks, his legs are so long that I am basically jogging behind him, we go down the stairs and to the entertainment room. He quickly finds the remote and tunes the TV to the local news station. There's a breaking news report. The same lady reports that reported Alexi Cartwright's murder. I learn her name is Hellen Graham.

"Hello, sadly I am here at the scene of yet another senseless murder." She starts. In the background you can see half of the steel mill warehouse, with the main focus being the river's edge that the mill rests on. "At this time Hemlock Grove Police can confirmed that Karen King is the latest victim of the proclaimed Demon Dog."

"FUCK! Fucking fuck!" Roman takes a seat on the couch and puts a hand over his mouth.

"Karen King!? I saw her last night!" I say.

"We fucked up..." Roman drags his hands down his face. He's right we fucked up.

"Karen King was last seen at the old, abandoned Godfrey Steel Mill, where a party was being held. The host of the party is still unknown." Graham continunes.

"Roman, they're going to think you threw the party!" I say.

"Fuck, someone is trying to set me up..."

"As of right now Hemlock Grove Police is setting a city wide curfew of 10 pm. As always if anyone has any information regarding Alexi Cartwright or Karen King's murders, please call our hotline." Helen Graham signs off.

"I saw her..." I start. "In the bathroom... the was fucking Eric Manning in one of the stalls."

"Eric Manning?" I nod "Shit. Okay Peter is on his way. He's fucking pissed."

"So that was him on the phone?" Roman nods. "Am I a distraction?"

"What? No. He thinks we're not being serious. Which is bullshit." We heard a floor board creak and it's Peter standing at the door way.

"House keeper opened the door... Why the fuck do the both of you look like that?" He throws a hand at our direction. Roman and I are still wearing the clothes we slept in. "Fuckin', incredible. Do you guys not fucking care about this shit or what?!" He walks into the room.

"Peter we were there! It must have happened as soon as we left! We stayed as long as it seemed relevant!" Roman argues back.

"Relevant?! Roman it's obvious you think this is some bullshit game!"

"I don't think this is a game you asshole!" Roman walks to a mantle in the room and grabs a metal cigarette box and quickly lights a cigarette for himself. Even though they were arguing Roman gives Peter one too.

"And Raquel, what the fuck! You are smarter than that! Smarter than fucking Roman!" Peter spits at me.

"Hey man she didn't do anything wrong! I'm the asshole. I've been in this way longer than she has." Roman defended me. I could never imagine Roman Godfrey defendng me for something in my life.

"Well I don't know if this is going to work..." Peter runs a hand through his hair. "Two girls from school are dead! Do you two get that? I... I don't think she's going to work." He looks at me.

"Peter she was in our dream..." Roman says.

"Our fucking dreams hardly makes sense half the time!"

"Peter, the vargulf is after girls..." Roman takes a deep drag from his cig. I get what he's implying.

"Wait... are you trying to volunteer me as bait for this vargulf?!" I say. Roman shrugs.

"Actually fuck, I still fucking hate you Roman but that's an idea that may work." Peter says.

"Fuck you two! You can't be serious!?" They don't respond. After a minute Peter says:

"Okay, could you two please get dressed and well talk about this properly?"


	8. Conscious

Roman and I met Peter in the billiards room, fully dressed. I am stuck with wearing my clothes from last night, it smells like cigarette smoke. Peter is breaking up weed and rolling a joint on the felt top pool table. I sit on the table.

“Okay, so what are you two fuckers thinking?” I ask.

“So far the victims are both girls. So that’s already some kind of M.O. or some shit right?” Roman points out.

“So far, yes.” Peter puts the joint to his lips and lights it. “So what is your game plan for Raquel?” Peter asks Roman.

“Well… maybe we can have her walk around at night like in the woods?” Roman suggests. They talk to each other as if I’m not here in the room with them.

“Um, there’s a city wide curfew guys.” They both look at me like I popped out of thin air.

“Fuck, well I guess we’ll just have to be careful.” Peter passes the joint to me.

“Damn, I thought that would back you two off on making me literal human bait.” I say sarcastically. I take a deep hit.

“Listen, we have the rest of the week to plan this shit out.” Roman assured. “We’re not going to send you out not knowing anything.”

Later in the afternoon Roman dropped me off at my house.

“I’ll see you at school Monday.” I say and slide out of the car. He grabs my arm.

“You’re not going to kiss me goodbye?” He says. I roll my eyes.

“No.” I teased and leaned over to kiss him. As we break way he stares intently into my eyes. I feel odd like I’m a tunnel and the only light I see at the end are just his eyes.

“Raquel, you can’t go out into the woods if I’m not with you. When the sunsets you have to be in your house at all times. Okay?” I say okay back. “Alright.” His gaze breaks off and I come back to myself, I feel a little confused. “Text me for anything.” He takes out a handkerchief and wipes at his nose. I exit and he takes off.

When I got to my house my parents asked me about my whereabouts. I lied and told them I stayed with Natalie. They questioned if I went to the party and I say no. They inform me about Karen King and I told them I had seen the news. My brother walks in and it was his turn to be interrogated by our parents. They say they’re glad we’re home safe my brother and I just shrug. Liam and I both walked back to our rooms and he stops by my in my room.

“You smell like a prostitute.” He says. I flip him off. “This shit is fucking crazy.” I nod. “You know how they found Karen? By the rocks on the shore of the river, half her body was… eaten.”

“Fuck…” I say.

“I saw her at the party. I sold her some Xanax.” Liam says.

“What the fuck? You’re selling drugs, Liam?” I push him.

“What are you going to tell mom and dad?” He teases. I say no. “Thought so.”

“Well at least be smart about it.” He assured me he was.

“You know on the ride here I was thinking, ‘I hope she took them straight after, maybe she didn’t feel too much pain’. Morbid shit.”

“Well, I’m going to take a shower and go to bed.” I say. He starts to walk out and he pulls a 20 dollar bill from his back pocket.

“This was hers.” He waves it in the air. “Crazy, huh.” He tucks the bill back in his pocket and leaves.

The school week was a dramatic blur. More people crying, more grieve counselors, more lectures from the principal. In the English literature class I share with Roman and Peter our teacher Mrs. Parker, burst into tears during our reading time. Roman, Peter and I gave each other uncomfortable looks. During the middle of the week there was an in school vigil held. Alexi Cartwright and Karen King’s parents were in attendance. Each parent gave the student body a brief eulogy. Half of the dedicated songs that were sung sounded karaoke-esque. Roman and Peter sat at the very top of the gymnasium bleachers while I sat with Nat and Viv near the middle. We decided to make little contact with each other to keep appearances this way. Which we were smart plan since Sheriff Sworn was in attendance. Principal Brookes announced that all after school activities were canceled until further notice and once again reminded all of the students of the 10 pm city wide curfew. We were dismissed.

After school I would meet Roman and Peter to discuss plans. There wasn’t much to plan, to be honest. I, Raquel was to walk through the woods every day this weekend until something happens, Roman and Peter will be near and most importantly, don’t get caught. That was it. I’m screwed. Peter informed me about how this werewolf can change without the full moon and since the attacks happened over the last two weekends that most likely the vargulf would be out this weekend too. I just nodded a long as he explained I don’t want to ask questions even though I should, I’m still weirded out.

On Friday I met Roman at lunch outside. We sat down on some steps and I ate way at my avocado sandwich while Roman smoked and drank his Coca Cola.

“So you two are really making me go out there tonight? Even after you told me I couldn’t.” I say and he looks at me.

“I said you couldn’t unless I’m with you. Listen, I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” He exhales smoke. “So have you asked Nat and Viv if they saw anything weird at the steel mill the other week?”

“Nothing super weird. Viv told me she saw Karen leave with Eric Manning. Remember, I told you there were fucking in the bathroom? When Christina was tripping balls.” I took a bite from my sandwich.

“Eric Manning…” Roman scans the courtyard. He stops abruptly and I get close to his face to see what he was seeing. It was Peter and Letha. They were talking and laughing. It looked a little flirtatious

“What’s Letha doing talking to Peter?” I ask.

“Exactly what I was thinking. I don’t know.” He stubs his cigarette out and blows smoke, looking a little irritated.

“I don’t think she likes me.” I say.

“What makes you think that?” He looks at me now.

“I don’t know, I guess it’s a girl thing.” I shrug.

“Fuckin girls…” Roman gets up and takes my hand. “Let’s go.” We ditched school for the rest of the day.

Peter gets to Roman’s house right before the 10 PM curfew and right after Roman and I finished having sex. We go over the plan once more and leave. Peter and I have to lap up in the Jaguar. We drive with the headlights off.

It was 10:23 PM according to the time on the dash clock. Nearly 30 minutes past city wide lock down.

“We’ll be right behind you, okay.” Roman assured me again.

“Yeah whatever.” I say back I just want to get this all over with.

We drive a little out of city limits into a semi discreet road. The Godfrey tower shines brightly in the distance. We park on the shoulder of the road.

“Ready?” Peter asks as we get out. I don’t say anything.

I find a little one person trail and follow it into the woods. It quickly disappears and I am stepping in think brush and bulging tree roots. I hear nothing but the snapping of twigs as I walk and the hooting of an owl in the distance. Fuck my life, I thought. I can’t believe I was convinced to do this. As I walk I make sure that I can still see some part of the road through the trees, even if it was a small sliver of pavement. I need to know where I can get out of the woods if I have to. I hear some movement near me and I duck down. I wait for whatever it was approaching me and it turned out to be a possum, it quickly scurried away as soon as it saw me. The moon light was fading as I hit a thick patch of trees. I can see my breath in the air. I look behind me and the Roman and Peter were walking paces away from each other and smoking, I was much further a head from them. A little ways past them I see red and blue light come from around the area we parked. I pointed towards it. They turn back and look.

“Sheeit.” They both said in unison. I start to walk back to them and Roman throws a hand out and tells me to stay.

“We’ll get rid of them.” They leave me.

“What the fuck? Roman… fuck!” I squat down and wait for them to come back, I’m not walking further in the woods.

I waited there forever, it felt like. I hear the police cruiser drive by on the nearby road but I am still waiting for Roman and Peter to come back to me.

“Where are they?” I say out loud to myself.

I feel my phone vibrate.

RG: We have to circle around.

Raquel: Please hurry.

I text back and put my phone up. I cross my arms over my knees and rest my head. Suddenly, everything in the woods seemed to have gone eerily silent. I look up. The only noise that surrounded me was the sound of my own breathing. I hear a twig snap in the distance. I stand up and I strain my eyes to see what was approaching. Then a growl cut through the air. I knew exactly what it was, such a distinct guttural growl that no other animal could make. The last thing I remember seeing was its yellow eyes before I started to run back towards the road. I can hear the wolf’s paces behind me. Branches are scratching at me and I trip. I have no time to assess the damage I inflicted on myself. My heart is pounding and tears steam down my face. My feet finally hit pavement and I look to my left and right and see no one. I bolt it down to my left because I know there’s a cross street. I feel myself slow down, I am tired. My conscious tells me to stop, to give up. I listen, this is it. As I stop to accept my fate I see the headlights of the Jaguar as it turns back on the road from the cross street. My legs have different plan that what my head told me to do and I pick my pace back up and run towards the car. Roman came to a screeching halt next to me. I jump in and onto Peters lap. Peter puts a hand to my cheek and turns my face to his and looks me directly in the eyes. He looks into them as if was reviewing everything that I just saw. Roman looks at me and he looks scared. I feel strange. I am breathing raggedly.

“Drive. Faster!” I command. My head feels like a thousand pounds, the car accelerates. Everything goes black.

When I wake up Roman and Peter are staring at me smoking cigarettes. I try to get up from my laying position and they both get up from their seat and tell me to lay back down.

“I got it guys.” They still insist I lay back down. “Stop talking.”

“We’re sorry.” Roman says. I bet this is the first time he’s uttered the words.

“Don’t ever make me do that again.” They both nod. I reach over to Roman and pull his pack of cigarettes out of the breast pocket of his white button up. I see my hands scraped and muddied.

“Shit.” I say with the cig dangling from my lips and I display my hands.

“Yeah, you probably should get cleaned up now.” Peter says. I look down at the rest of myself and I’m covered with scratches, dried blood, leaves, and dirt. Roman takes my hands and pulls me up.

“I’ll help you.” He says. My legs feel like led.

“Okay, I going to go to talk to my cousin Destiny. I’ll catch up with you too.” Peter sees himself out.

Roman looks back to me as we walk towards the stairs, I’ve been dragging my legs the whole way over.

“C’mon.” He takes the cigarette off from my lips that I never lit. He scoops me up into his arms and walks up the stairs. We get to the bathroom and he sits me on top the marble sink counter. I see my face in the mirror. Dirtied especially where tears fell. I have a cut on my lip and big gash on my forehead, the blood is a dried.

“I look like shit.” I turn back to Roman who had started the shower water.

“I’m really sorry. I feel really bad.”

“This is the second time you said sorry… You feeling okay?”

“Very funny.” He walks over and starts to take my shoes and socks off. He pulls me off the counter. “Lift your arms.” I do what he says and he pulls my shirt off. He crouches and slides my panties and pants down together. As I step out of them I see that my knees are banged up too. I reach behind myself and take my bra off. He takes my hand and walks me to the shower. As soon as the warm water hits me I feel relief and also littles stings from the scrapes, but this is okay. I look down and see dirt and blood swirling down the drain. The sliding glass door opens and Roman joins me.

“I’m going to help you, okay.” He says and I nod.

He takes a soap lathered loofa and gently scrubs away the dirt for me. I close my eyes. He holds my face in his hands and rubs the dirt away with his thumbs. He kisses my forehead and holds me. Once I am all clean Roman steps out first and hold a towel out from me to wrap myself in.

“Go sit back on the counter and I’ll bandage you up.” I go take a seat on the marble and I watched him quickly wrap a towel around his waist. He opens a cabinet next to me and pulls out gauze and surgical tape. He pushes my hair back and takes a small wash cloth and pats the gash on head.

“Do you hit your head on something or…?” He asks.

“I guess so, I tripped.” He rips a piece of tape with his teeth and to secure the gauze.

“I think this might need stitches.” He slides his finger along the edge of the gauze to seal the tape evenly. “I can take you to the Tower and have someone stitch it up tomorrow.” I just say okay.

We get ready for bed. Roman hands me a tee shirt and a pair boxers to wear to sleep. He just puts on some grey boxer briefs and crawls next to me. He reaches over and rummages in his night stand.

“Here this will help you sleep and ease the pain.” He puts a valium in my palm. I dry swallow the pill.

I laid there waiting for either sleep or the valium to take me. I feel my body relax I nearly feel limp. My aches quickly dull.

“You know I almost gave up.” I feel my eye lids get heavy. “I stopped running but then I saw the headlights… I felt nothing until I saw those headlights.” My eyes close but I continue speaking. “Sometimes I get this feeling, I don’t know. Like this wall, like…” I’m not making any sense. “There’s more to you that I can’t quite understand like… you know it too” I doze off. I feel Roman shake me.

“What is it that you know?” He says.

“You’ll know it when it comes.”

“Know what?” he urges.

“I don’t know. Just know I’ll still like you…whatever it is you are...” and then I am dead to the world.


	9. Bad Enough

The next day Roman and I are driving to the Godfrey Tower. I pull the visor down to take a look at myself. The gauze was stained red and my lip was a little puffy. I flip the visor back up and Roman patted my thigh. We pull up and soon we’re in the reception office. The receptionist recognizes Roman and looks irritated. She pushes a clip board with information for me to fill out and Roman pushes it back.

“Can you just page Pryce, please?” Roman gives the lady a smug smile.

We were buzzed in. A security guard escorts us through the white sterile building, using his badge to clear us through several very secure doors and we took a lift up many flights. Finally, we sit down in a small waiting room. Dr. Pryce had a gold plaque with his whole name, Johann Pryce PhD., outside his office. We could here Dr. Pryce talking with someone in his office. We could catch bits of the conversation.

“And this Pullman seen this demon dog so to speak…? …So what do you know about Chasseur…? …Interesting.” Roman and I look at each other with puzzled looks on our faces. The door opens.

“Hello, Roman.” A man says.

“Oh, hello uncle.” He gets up and introduces me to his Uncle Norman. He shakes my hand. He mentions he has a patient to meet and leaves.

“What can I help you with Roman?” Dr. Pryce asks.

“My friend, Raquel, has a gash that needs stitches.” Pryce looks at my forehead.

“I see. Well follow me this way. I’ll have my head nurse fix you right up.” We walk through more secured doors and clearances.

I take a seat and the nurse begins striping the gauze off. She slowly peeled the gauze off the dried blood but she tugged hard at the last second an opened the wound again. I felt blood run over the arch of my eyebrow. She quickly wipes it up.

“Roman may I speak to you outside?” Dr. Pryce asks. They both walk out to the hallway I can see them through the small window in the door.

The nurse asks me to lay down and the paper crinkles underneath me. She takes a syringe and applies a local anesthetic and begins stitching me up. It is then when I realize I can hear Roman and Dr. Pryce talking. These walls are thin as hell, I think.

“And who is this girl you’ve brought?” Dr. Pryce says.

“A friend of mine.” Roman replies.

“I know you’ve had visit from Chasseur… she’s asked me about your friends. Why?”

“I know about as much as you do.” Roman sparks back.

“Watch yourself Roman. And your, friends too…”

“I know what I’m doing, okay.”

They walk back in and the nurse is tying off the last of my stitch. I sit up, I now have 4 stitches in my face. I see Dr. Pryce writing a prescription for pain killers and hands the slip to me.

“We have a pharmacy down on the first floor. It was nice to meet you.” Pryce says and I say thank you.

Roman and I get my meds and head out of the building. He opens the passenger door for me and stands in front of it before I go in. He runs his finger along the stitches.

“Good as new.” He punctuates by poking my nose with his pointer finger.

Next errand for the day was to go by my parents’ house. Roman pulls up and luckily my parents happen to be out for the day. We enter and my brother is watching TV in the living room. He sits up straight once he sees Roman. They give each other a nod, you know one of those alpha male nods. I shoot my brother a ‘be nice’ look. I ask Roman if he wants anything to drink but he says he’s fine so we go upstairs to my room. I’ve hardly ever brought boys back to my place and I’m kind of get embarrassed because this is my space. I apologize for the mess and he assures me it’s nothing like his room which is true. He goes to sit on my bed and looks around. My room is lightly decorated mostly pictures, awards, and souvenirs posted up. He gets up and looks at the pictures on my vanity mirror.

“I remember you like this.” He holds a picture up of me from the third grade.

“Yeah, when I was still cute?”

“You still are.” He winks at me.

We chill in my room and talk. I told him I didn’t want to talk about anything serious, I just wanted to get my mind off things. I tell him to tell me a story any story, made up or not. He tells me about his car, how it belonged to his dad and how his dad would drive fast and go on road trips with him as a little boy. I take a pain killer and take a nap. Later I feel Roman shake me to wake up. Liam is at the door way, when I come to.

“The sheriff is here…” My brother says. I jump up but it makes me dizzy.

“Shit…” I steady myself. “Tell them I’ll be down.” I look at Roman.

“Act natural.” He says.

I walk down and see Sheriff Sworn and Dr. Chasseur through the glass door and walk out.

“Hello, officers.” I say.

“Raquel Quinn, nice to see you again.” Chasseur shakes my hand. “Man, that’s a nice little doozy you’ve got there.” She points at my forehead. “How’d that happen?”

“My brother and I fought over the remote.” I say.

“Well, must have been serious…” She tilts her head.

“You know, brothers and sisters.” I smirk.

“Right. So we’d like to know more about this animal, if you don’t mind.” I shrug.

“What do you want to know?” I ask.

“Just tell us what you saw on the night of Alexi Cartwright’s murder.”

I tell them what the werewolf looked like but of course I didn’t say werewolf.

“Excellent, thank you. So is there any information you can give us about Karen King. We know about you and Roman Godfrey were in attendance at the steel mill party… So can you elaborate?

“I saw her there, yeah. I went to the bathroom and I saw her there with Eric Manning.”

“Was anyone else in the bathroom worth mentioning?”

“Just my friend Vivienne Cole, you know, buddy system… and Christina Wendall was there too.”

“Christina Wendall?” The sheriff asked. “You sure?”

“I’m sure, yes.”

“Okay, well that’s all we have for now. Like I said if have any more info call us or we’ll come to you.” Chasseur and Sworn leave.

I walk back in the house and Roman is sitting at the base of the stairs.

“Good job.” He says.

“Fighting over the remote? You lying to cops?!” My brother says from the couch.

“Do you want me to call the sheriff and tell him you were smoking weed with his daughter?” Liam shut up and Roman raised his eyebrows.

“Well… Peter texted me. Wants us to meet his at his cousin’s place.”

“What are you all up to?” Liam asks.

“English project.” Roman says sarcastically and smiles at Liam.

“Whatever, I actually don’t care.” Liam turns his attention back to the TV.

“Ready?” Roman stands up and we go.

We drive towards downtown Hemlock Grove. Destiny’s apartment is next to the medical marijuana shop. Destiny answers the door.

“Hello, Roman.” Destiny says melodically. “Hi, Raquel! Peter and Roman have told me about you.” We walk through several beaded curtains. I take a seat on the couch. The coffee table was decorated with crystals and so was the rest of the place. Various house plants and tapestries adorn the house as well.

“So how’d it go?” Roman asks. I am in the dark.

“Just more of the same.” Peter says.

“What are you two talking about?” I ask. The look at each other and Roman turns to me.

“Uh, earlier this week we went to Karen King’s grave site… and we dug her up.”

“What the fuck you mean ‘dug her up’?” I say.

“We, gypsies, have our way communicating with the dead.” Destiny shares.

“So you two are doing things behind my back? I thought I was here to help because some dream told you so.” My brows furrow.

“You are an important part of this.” Roman started and Peter cuts him off.

“We’re trying to protect you. Less you know of some things, the better. The cops have been hot on your tail since this started.”

“The cops have talked to you two, too!” I protest.

“I probably should have said this earlier but Chasseur came by my house earlier this week too…” Roman crosses his arms.

“What the fuck Roman.” Destiny says.

“What was she asking?” Peter asks sternly.

“She was asking about you… I was high I probably shouldn’t have said somethings...”

“What did you say, Roman?” Peter looked highly irritated.

“Well Shelly had walked in and I didn’t want Chasseur to think Shelly was the vargulf so I alluded-“

“Allude what?” Peter bites back.

“That Shelly is the fuckin vargulf, Peter. Then she asked where I heard that term and I said you. And she asked me if you thought that maybe you were a werewolf… I told her ‘no’ that people in school are just shitty.”

“So you didn’t tell her?” Peter asks.

“No I didn’t fucking tell her do I look like some fucking retard?” Roman argues back.

“Peter, there’s endless miles of interstate, you don’t have to be here for this.” Destiny says. Peter just shakes his head no.

“It looks like were all fucked, to be honest.” I shrug.

“Nice attitude to have, Raquel.” Roman sounds irritated.

“I think we should call it a day. Recollect.” Peter says.

“You two don’t want to check out Eric Manning? He’s the only one that was with Karen.” Peter and Roman nod.

“We’ll plan something.” Peter says.

Peter and Roman walk out ahead of me to smoke a cigarette. Destiny stops me before I leave. She takes my hand and studies my palm.

“What?” I ask.

“Very interesting.” She says. “What do you make of all of this? You know Peter being a werewolf and Roman?”

“I don’t know I try not to over think it.” She just nods.

“Smart. All I have to say is be careful with Roman.”

“What why? I mean I know he’s an asshole but—“

“That boy in a ticking time bomb.” She looks at Roman out the screen door. “It’s bad enough that he doesn’t know what he is.” She looks back at me with a look like she said too much. “Well I guess I’ll see you later.” She opens the screen door, I say bye, and I meet the boys.

“I’ll ring you.” Peter says. “See you later, Raquel.” Peter walks back to the apartment.

That night that I go to sleep I hear Destiny’s words replay and echo in my head, “It’s bad enough that he doesn’t know what he is…”

The school week begins. Things seems to have died down. There hasn’t been a murder since Karen King. Hemlock Grove high school is back to its usual mundanity. I have lunch with Roman today.

“I went to the bathroom during third period and I saw Eric Manning.”

“Did you ask him anything?” I ask.

“No he pushed past me. Weird, huh.” I shake my head, yes.

I scan the courtyard and immediately I see Christina Wendall staring at Roman and I. She looked disgusted and angry. Roman looked at me.

“What?” He says. I look at him.

“Christina Wendall is giving me a fuckin death look.” I say and he turns to the direction I was looking at before.

“Where is she?” He asks.

I turn back to the large tree Christina was standing under and she was gone.


	10. Tunnel Vision

I was with Roman and Shelly in a nice restaurant in Downtown Hemlock Grove waiting on my pasta. It was the middle of the week in the afternoon. Roman wanted to take Shelly out after he had an argument with Olivia, he didn’t tell me about what though. I hardly ever saw his mother. Our food is brought out to our table and we begin to eat. It was probably the best pasta I’ve ever had.

“So Peter got a hold of Eric…” Roman says finishing the last bite of his steak.

“Manning?” He nods. “How’d that go?” I ask.

“Well, he’s ruled out. Karen…” He whispered her name and glanced at Shelly to make sure she didn’t hear, “and Eric, got into a fight after the bathroom incident and he left her there.”

“You sure?” I ask.

“Peter scared him pretty good, he said he almost made Eric piss himself.” Shelly grunted embarrassed of Roman’s crassness, he winks at her.

As we are leaving Roman takes Shelly’s hand while I go to the coat checker to get my jacket.

“Here you are Mrs. Godfrey.” Says the middle aged woman behind the desk.

“It’s just Miss Quinn but thank you.” Mrs. Godfrey, really? I thought to myself. So much for a low profile.

Roman is driving Olivia’s black Ford truck today. We take Shelly back home and head to Peter’s trailer. We drive back through Hemlock Grove's Main Street.

“Hey, isn’t that Peter’s station wagon?” I point to it.

“Yeah… and that’s Letha’s car next to it…” He slows down and we can see the both of them sitting in the ice cream shop. “That fucking dick.” He slams on the breaks and I jerk forward.

“Roman, keep driving.” I demand. He looks me in directly in the eyes and I feel strange, I was back in the tunnel, he then breaks his intense stare. He was biting his bottom lip and his brows furrowed. “Roman, they’re going to see us.”

He takes off, pinning my body to the seat. Roman drives aimlessly. I lean over and put my hand on his thigh, to remind him I'm still with him, he pushes my hand off instead. I feel rejected.

“Where are we going?” He doesn’t answer me, he just puts a cigarette to his lips.

Finally, he stops on the other side of the River and straight across the water is the Steel Mill.

“What an ass. She’s my cousin.” Roman states. “He wants to talk about how we’re not taking shit seriously?” He throws out his cigarette from the window. “She’s doesn’t need to be around this, you know, she’s pregnant…”

“Roman I’m sure it’s innocent—" He cuts me off.

“Please, he’s been eye fucking her since they met.” Roman’s anger was getting the best of him.

“At least hear him out…” Roman scoffed.

He goes for another cigarette and I just lean and rest on the door handle. I’ve given up trying to calm him down. I start to think of why I’ve been wasting my time with Roman. I hardly take anyone’s shit but here I am. He’s not even my boyfriend, he’s almost nothing to me. Though I can feel in my heart that, that isn’t true. My mind and my heart are combating and doing foolish things. I am pulled out of my thoughts when I feel Roman’s hand grab mine.

“I know I’m being an asshole…” I look at him and shrug. “Raquel…” He pulls me closer to him. The front seat is just a large bench seat.

He kisses my hand and puts it down to throw his arm around me. Boys are all the same, I think to myself. They all do the same petty shit to make you forget their faults. He tries to kiss me and he can feel my resistance. He then agressively grabs my cheeks on either side with one hand and looks me in the eyes. I feel the tunnel vision. I quickly shut my eyes before I went too deep and pushed him off.

“What the fuck is that Roman?” I scoot back to my seat. He looks forward and puts his hands on the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry. I—

“Tell me what the fuck that is! Or take me home!” I yell.

“It’s hard to explain…” He turns to look at me.

“Don’t fucking look at me!” I squeeze my eyes shut and when I peek through he’s staring out the windshield again. “If you can’t tell me then take me home, asshole!”

“I can make people do things by looking at them!” He yells back. “Fuck!” He punches the dash board and I jump back in my seat. “I can’t explain it because I don’t understand it either!”

“I fucking hate you…” Uncontrollably I feel tears stream down my face. “Why did I let myself get dragged in the bullshit?” I quickly wipe away at my face.

“I’m sorry I tried doing that to you.”

“I know it's not the first time.” He turns his head but is looking down.

“Can I talk to you?” He says.

“You are talking to me.”

“You know what I mean. I won’t doing anything.” He throws his hands up in surrender.

“Fine, but I swear to god—

“Trust me, please…” He looks at me. I try to stare anywhere on his face but his eyes.

“I won’t ever do it again, I promise.” He sighs. “I don’t know why I can do that… to people… Sometimes I hear and see things and I don’t know why either.” He bites his lips. “The other night that you were over, you were incoherent, but you said you’d like me ‘whatever it is that I am’, do you remember?” I shake my head no. “You being here isn’t for my fucking entertainment, you know something too.”

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” I bite back. “Do you realize how crazy you sound? So far I’ve only been chased by that werewolf! The cops have been on my ass! I feel fucking used.”

“Raquel—“

“Destiny told me to be careful around you…”

“And what now you’re scared of me?” He says sarcastically.

“No… I feel like I should be but I’m not.”

“So?”

“What the fuck is wrong with us? You’re so fucked up Roman but I guess I must be fucked too.” Roman reaches over to the glove compartment and takes a flask out. He hands it to me. I take a gulp, I feel the whiskey burn and it dissipates to relief. He takes the flasks for a swig and hands it back.

“We are so fucked…” He chuckles. 

“It’s not funny!” I lightly punched his arm.

He takes the flask out of my hand and sets it on the dash. He pulls me back to him. I lean in to kiss him this time. I start to unbutton his shirt and I push it open to reveal his torso. I scoot over a bit so that I can lean down near his crotch. I unbuckle his belt and pulls his jeans and underwear down to his knees. I take him in my hand and lower my mouth to it. Roman moans and puts a hand on my head. His erection gets harder in my mouth. I can feel him slightly push my head down so that I could take him deeper in my mouth. I work my tongue while I go up and down. He fists my hair and moans even louder this time, so I stop. He puts his hand under my chin and puts his lips to mine. I sit straight so that Roman can snake his hand into my jeans and feel me. He rubs my clit and then goes a little lower and teases me. He says he likes how wet I am, I moan on to his lips. Roman tells me to lift my butt off the seat so that he could pull my jeans down. I did as he asked. He grabs me and sits me on his lap. He’s not in me yet but I start to grind down on his thigh between my legs. He puts his hands under my shirt and kneads my boobs and I throw my head back and moan. He tells me to lift my hips.

“Let me feel you…” he whispers in my ear.

He slips and hand out of my shirt and position his dick at my entrance. I slam down on him and we both say ‘fuck’ at the same time. I lean onto the steering wheel and start to ride him. Roman reclines his seat back so he could watch me take his whole length. The heat from our panting and moaning started to fog up the windows. I lean back and grab on to his knees, I dug my nails into the skin.

“Harder.” He commanded.

So I dug deeper and I felt blood run under my nails. Roman grabs my hips and slams me down on him a few times. I’m moaning like crazy. He slams me down one last time and we both climax. I screamed. I lean forward again and slump over the steering wheel trying to catch my breath. When I am able to breathe normally I slide off him and sit back on the seat. I pull my pants back up and fix myself back to my original state. Roman does the same. I rest my head on his shoulder. Roman rolls the windows down and lights a cigarette.

“Do you still hate me?” He jokes.

“Fuck off.” I say and he leans down and kisses me. “Still didn’t forget shit, asshole.”

Roman gets a text alert and then a phone call.

“Who is it?” I ask.

“Peter.”

“Well answer it.”


	11. Pity

Roman answers Peter’s phone call and puts it on speaker. 

“Hey! Where are you two? You were supposed to be here about 30 minutes ago.” Peter says.

“Yeah… we got distracted.” Roman says. I can tell he is irritated.

“Do you want to check out the steel mill or not?’ Peter asks.

“Yeah, well meet you there. Were on the other side of the river.” They say bye.

Roman’s jaw was clenching. He was still mad about seeing Peter with Letha downtown. He takes the long way over to the mill. He said it was so that Peter could catch up and we’d meet at the same time. We pull up and peter was sitting on a metal barrel. Roman looks at him through the windshield and he grips his hands on the steering wheel. I put a hand on his forearm.

“Be nice to him.” I say. Roman lets go of the wheel and we get out.

“You ready to check the place out?” Peter asked as we approached him.

“Yeah sure.” Roman shrugged. Peter hands me a flash light.

“What are we looking for?” I ask.

“Anything that’ll get us closer to knowing who the vargulf is.” Peter says.

We enter the warehouse and walked paces away from each other. We’re stepping on solo cups and various trash left from the party a few weeks ago. Rats scurry past our feet and water was dripping down, creating puddles of water we had to skip over. The place was super dirty, I hadn’t even noticed how dangerous this place was.

“So, where were you earlier? We went by your house.” Roman lied only to catch Peter in his lie. Peter turned back at us.

“Oh, I was downtown had to help my mom run an errand.” I wish he’s just tell the truth. Roman’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Oh so what did Letha help you with?” Roman bites back.

“Shit, Roman it’s not like that.” We all stopped in our tracks.

“Oh, then what is it? You should have told me pregnant chicks was you’re thing, I could have hooked you up.” Roman snarked.

“Roman don’t be ridiculous.” I say.

“She pities me, Roman.” Peter says

“Yeah whatever.” Roman walks off and searches around on his own.

I give Peter and apologetic look and he gives me a back a polite smile. We split. I decided to go to the bathrooms. It was the last place I saw Karen. It smelled just as awful, if not worse, since the night of the party. I kicked all the stalls open and swept the stall with my flashlight. Nothing. I reached the last stall, where Karen and Eric had sex. Still, Nothing. I sigh and walk towards the door to leave and that’s when I saw large claw marks. I run my fingers along the scarred wood. I go out to look for Roman and Peter and tell them when I see them standing together. I follow the light from their flashlights and it illuminated a pair of mangled legs being munched on rats.

“What is that?” There’s a sound of panic in my voice.

“It’s Karen King…” Peter states in monotone.

I feel nauseous. Roman waves a hand for me to go over to them.

“C’mon I think we should go.” Roman grabs my hand.

My mouth waters and I feel the bile rise. I push Roman back and I heave. He grabs my hair back. I choke and heave again. I curse and wipe at my mouth.

“This is so fucked up.” I say.

Roman takes my hand again and we continue to walk towards the exit. We hear police sirens go off and we stop in our tracks.

“Shit…” Peter says.

“I’ll get rid of them.” Roman says.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Peter raises his eyebrows at him.

Roman walks out and Peter and I watch him though a small window.

“C’mon Roman, do the fuckin roofie eyes.” Peter whispers to himself.

The interaction with the deputies didn’t look like it was going well. I was starting to get worried. The mustached cop started to cuff him.

“Fuck!” I say. “Roman what the fuck!”

Peter put a finger to his lips. We watch Roman get put in the back of the cop car and get driven away. I give Peter a “what the hell are we going to do look” and he tells me to follow him out. We walk up to the truck. We try to pry the doors open.

“He fucking has the keys!” Peter kicks one of the tires.

“Shit! What do we do?”

“We have to walk.” He sighs.

We walked through tall grass and stickers stuck to my ankles. It was a five mile walk to Peter’s trailer. I felt gross and tired as I plopped myself down on Peter’s couch. He comes from the kitchen and hands me a beer.

“Fuckin’ Roman.” Peter says and puts the bottle to his lips.

“I’m sorry about what he said to you about Letha.”

“You don’t have to apologize for him.” He shrugged. “Did Roman tell you I talked to Eric?” I nod. “Yeah he was scared.” He chuckled. “His scent wasn’t right, though. I know it’s not him. The vargulf has this sickly sweet scent.”

“This is all so fuckin’ crazy.” I take a gulp. Peter chuckled at me. “So that same night I saw Karen and Eric in the bathroom, right?” He nods. “Okay, so I get out of the stall and I saw Christina Wendall, you know, the freshman novelist.” I roll my eyes. “She was super weird like tripping balls. She was giving everyone the stink eye and then she bolted out. Since then she’s been giving me fucked up looks every time I see her.”

“Christina Wendall?” Peter sounds surprised. “I can’t imagine her being at that party.”

“Well, her friends are those little Sworn twats, so.”

“Weird. This summer before school started she would drop by here. Kind of annoying. She asked if I was a werewolf… I denied it, of course. She just a kid, though, they think all sorts of things.”

“What the hell, who just asks someone if they’re a damn werewolf, though?” Peter shrugs.

“I don’t know. Anyways since school started a few months back she acts like I don’t exist. She's been a little bitch, frankly.”

“Weird.” I chug the rest of my beer down. “So one more thing…” Peter raises his brows at me and takes a drink. “You and Letha?”

“I can’t explain why she’s been talking to me. I guess she likes me but I’m not stupid I know Roman wouldn’t want me with her in any sort of way.” He scratches his head.

“Okay, that’s just Roman being hard headed. Forget about what he thinks for the moment, do you like her?” Peter sighs.

“I do. It’s just… difficult.”

“He’ll come around.” I assure him.

“She what’s the thing with you two?”

“I don’t know.” I shrug.

“He likes you.”

“I know.”

“I know you like him,too.”

“Yeah…” I bite my lip. I just admitted to someone that I like Roman Godfrey. My heart beats a little bit faster than normal.

“So?” Peter stretched out the vowel.

“I do like Roman. I enjoy being around him but when I’m with him I feel scared? I can’t describe it, like there’s something in him, something not… normal. Even he sometimes looks like he’s scared of himself.”

Peter reaches over to grab my hand. I feel a weird surge of electricity run through the both of us. We lock eyes. We were sharing a vision of an angel, its white feathered wings stretched and illuminated. Then blood, so much blood being spilled on a white marble floor. From the blood, starts to rise a wolf. Its yellow eyes, staring into me. I pull my hand away from Peter’s.

“What the fuck was that?!” I say.

“Someone is going to die again…”


	12. Ouroboros

Peter gets up and starts to put his jacket back on.

“I need to go talk to Destiny. I’ll take you home.”

We get in the station wagon and soon enough he pulls up to my house.

“Please let me know what that was.” I ask.

“Don’t worry.” He winks at me.

I have a hard time going to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I saw images of shit I wish I could repress. Karen’s legs, the angel, the blood, the yellow eyes. Those fucking horrible yellow eyes. I get out of bed and knock at Liam’s door. I knew he was up I could hear music playing in his room. He asks who it is and I said it was me and he tells me to come in.

“What’s up?” He sits up.

“Do you have anything I can bum from you?”

“What do you mean?” He said.

“Like a joint? Some Xanax?”

“Shit! Really?” He thought it was funny I was asking. I nod, yes. “Here.”

Liam hands me a joint he rummaged out of his night stand. He holds a lighter up for me. I take a deep drag and hold the smoke in my lungs while I opened one of his windows.

“What’s going on with you?” Liam asks.

“Too much shit little brother.”

He comes and sits next to me by the window sill. I pass the joint to him.

“Is it your boyfriend…Roman?”

“Roman is not my boyfriend.” I take the joint from his hand and take another drag.

“Shit, that’s hard to believe. You hang out with him all the time.”

“Whatever.” I roll my eyes.

We hear our dog barking outside and then we hear him yelp in pain. A breeze blew through the window. Our dog fell silent.

“The hell... Maybe we should check on Tank.” Liam says.

He spray his room with too much air freshener before we walk to the back door. It didn’t really matter, though, our parents were out of town they wouldn’t be here to smell the weed. As we opened the door we see Tank, our dog, limp and pierced on top of the cast iron fence spokes. Blood dripped down them.

“FUCK!” Liam says.

I stood there in shock. My pet since I was a kid was murdered.

“Who would do something like this?” Liam says teary eyed.

He runs up to the fence and slowly picks Tank off and carried him in his hands like a baby. I still stood there like a statue. My brother is crying he was petting Tanks face, his hands were bloody. I feel light headed. It sounds like I can hear a train horn in the distance and it gets louder and louder. My eyes roll back and I faint.

I wake up on the couch. My head was pounding. I touch my forehead and I felt sticky blood on my hands, one of my stitches busted open. I look over and I see that Roman is in my living room.

“Why are you here?”

“Well, hello…” I roll my eyes at him. “I called your phone, your brother answered. He told me what happened…”

“My dog…” I feel a lump in my throat and I swallow hard. “Why would someone do that?”

“I don’t know. It’s fucked up.”

“Could it have been the vargulf?”

“Probably. Maybe whoever it is, is pissed about the other night…”

Liam walks in and hands me some pain killers and a glass of water. His hands had dried blood on them. I look over to the clock on the wall behind my brother, it was 3:20 AM.

“You two can stay at my house tonight. Get away from the house, you know.” Roman offers. I start to sit up.

“Raquel, you can go. Uh… thanks Roman. I just want to be alone.” Liam runs a hand through his hair and excuses himself.

I sit up and Roman tells me to stay and he’d go pack a bag for me. He comes back. 

“Ready?” He takes my hand and steadies me up.

It was raining heavily. We sort of jog to his jag. I get a little dizzy but I pull myself through. We get to his house and in the bedroom Roman wipes away the dried blood on my forehead and adds a butterfly band aid to the spot the stitch busted. I sleep in my underwear and one of his tee shirts. I ask him for a Xanax. He hands me one and takes one for himself.

I start to doze off. I twist my body around so that I am facing him. I look at him and run my hand along his face. He slightly smiles and when my fingers traced his lips he kissed them. My eye lids started to get heavier.

“Are you an angel?”

“You’re so high.” Roman chuckles.

“You’re a warrior, Roman.” I swiftly feel asleep.

When I woke up, I was alone in Roman’s bed. I was confused because today was a school day, yet we were still here. I figured Roman decided for us that we’d ditch school today. I slide out of bed and head to bathroom. He was sitting in the bathtub smoking a joint and a coke mirror was to the side of him. He says good morning to me. I awkwardly explain to him that I have to pee.

“I’m not looking.” He closes his eyes and sinks further down into his bath.

I finished and came over and sat by the side of the tub. I leaned my arm over and rested my head.

“So where did you say your parents are at?” Roman takes a hit of his joint and passes it to me.

“With my sick aunt.” I take a puff. “I guess she’s not doing so good, they were supposed to be home, I think, a day ago.” I pass the joint back.

“Sheeit.” Roman sighed.

“Why would someone kill my dog?” I asked.

“A warning? I don’t know, I’m sorry.” He pushed my hair back and kissed my forehead.

I let my fingertips dip into the sudsy water and then I swirl my index finger around.

“So last night before I got home I was with Peter, you know.” Roman nods. “I don’t know how to explain this but we shared a vision.” I bite my lip.

“A vision?” Roman sat up a bit. 

“Yeah… he touched my hand like this,” I grab Roman’s hand the same way Peter did with mine, “and this surge went through us.”

“What did you see?” He asks.

“Well, it made no sense really…” I paint him the images I shared with Peter.

“The wolf rose out of the blood?” Roman asks as soon as I finish, I just nod, “And then Peter said ‘someone’s gonna die again’?

“Yeah, and he went to go see Destiny right after he dropped me off. Has he called or texted you?”

“My phones in the room.” Roman starts to get out of the tub.

I walk over to the sink and toss him a towel. He wraps it around his waist and I let him lead the way back to his room. He grabs his phone.

“Two texts and a call…” Roman states.

“From Peter?” He answers with a nod. “What did he say?” I ask.

“One says, ‘where are you’ and the other is ‘call me asshole’.” Roman smiles.

Roman dials Peter, they speak for a few minutes.

“I’m going to get dressed and we’re going to meet Peter at Destiny’s place.”

I get dressed as well. It was interesting what clothes Roman decided to pick for me. A pair of dark washed, high waist skinny jeans and a blood red loose fitted crop top. I forgot I even had this top. I go over to the corner where I tossed my shoes and Roman stops me.

“Oh wait,” Roman walks shirtless to his closet, “I said I’d get you new ones remember?” He hands me a shoe box with brand new lo top white converse.

“Damn, I didn’t think you’d actually do it.” I start to put my new shoes on. Roman just smirks.

Soon we were headed to Destiny’s were Peter was waiting for us. We are greeted by Destiny. Peter was in the living room drinking a beer. He already had a pair of beers waiting for us on the coffee table.

“So I told Destiny about the vision.” Peter states. “I’m assuming you told Roman?” Roman says yes. “Well Destiny wants to try something on you…” Peter takes a sip of his beer.

“Like what?” I ask.

“She’s basically going to hypnotize you… to see the whole vision as we saw it.” Peter says.

“And maybe, I’ll be able to see more.” Destiny cuts in.

“Will this help us find the vargulf?” Roman asks. He twists the cap off one of the beers and hands it to me.

“Yeah, I think so. I can feel it in my balls.” He grabs his package. Roman lets out a little laugh.

“Geez, Peter.” Destiny swats his arm with the back of her hand. “So, Raquel are you ready.”

“As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” I take a drink.

“You’ll be okay.” She assures me. “I’ve already done it to Peter and he’s just fine.”

She has me take my shoes off and lays me down on the couch. I look over to Roman and Peter and they both give me a reassuring smile at the same time. Destiny kneels over me, she blows onto various colored crystals in her hand. She places a few on my chest, my stomach, and my pubic area. She kisses the last crystal, a crimson color, and places it on my forehead. She grabs my hands and kisses the palms of them. She gets up and stands at the end of the couch where my head is faced and leans down to look me directly in the eyes. Destiny coos me into a hypnotized state. She tells me to close my eyes. She asked me questions that didn’t even pertain to the situation to make sure I was still me, so she says.

“What is your name?” She asks.

“Raquel Rey Quinn.”

“Where are you?”

“Hemlock Grove, Pennsylvania.”

She says something in the Romanian language. I felt myself plunge deeper into my subconscious. I was no longer in Destiny’s living room. I was home with Tank on my lap. He was wagging his tail enthusiastically. Suddenly, I was walking through the cold woods and I see piercing yellow wolf eyes staring at me. The wolf opens its mouth and blood projectiles out and on to me. I am covered in sticky dark blood. I run and the scene changes to me being in the white tower. The sterile white walls and the bright fluorescent lights blind me. I am still covered in blood making a mess every step I took. The hallway goes to a sign, that I do remember seeing when I was at the White Tower in real life, it was a poster of a dragon and a quote underneath. ‘…Today I have seen the dragon’ –Confucius. The poster disappears and I am blinded by another white light. A strong breeze hits me from the front and I am almost knocked over. It was the angel also now emitting a blinding light. I could feel my heart beat hard against my chest. Angels are usually precious and peaceful but this angel gave off menacing vibes. I start to back up and I hit a wall, I was now enclosed in a white box instead of a hallway. The angel walks towards me and even at the close distance I could never see its face because of the light. The angel hunches down and leans into my ear as if it was going to tell me a secret. I close my eyes but I still see white behind my eyelids. The angel licks down my neck tasting the blood I was covered it. I break in a cold sweat. Its lips touch my ear and whispers.

“Ouroboros.”

The angel disappears right after and the air in my lungs feel like it had been sucked out. I am gasping for breath. Everything goes black and I hear screaming.

“Wake her up!” A voice pleas it sounded so distant.

I can’t see anything in the darkness either. Suddenly those yellow eyes are staring at me again. I shut my eyes and willed it away and when I opened them again I was under water in the river, I started to swim up. I was too deep and desperate for a breath of air. I kicked my legs to the only light I see at the surface and at points the water would stay still enough for me to notice that the light was a full moon. I can feel my body getting tired. Things started to fade back to black.

“Why isn’t she waking up?” A frantic voices yells in the distance.

“I’M TRYING!” Someone says back this time it sounded closer.

I feel my body shaking and more yelling.

“RAQUEL WAKE UP!” It was Roman’s voice and it was so clear.

Before the darkness could enclose the full moon I opened my eyes and jerked up. I take gasps of air and though I filled my lungs it didn’t feel like enough. My head felt heavy and so I laid back down on the couch. I try to put a hand to my chest but instead it was on top of Destiny’s. I look up at Destiny, Peter, and Roman they all looked stressed and scared.

“I’m so sorry.” Destiny says.

“Are you okay?” Roman kneels down next to me and pulls a handkerchief out the breast pocket of his blazer, he dabs under my nose.

I realized that my nose was bleeding quite heavily. I grabbed the cloth and held it at my nose.

“I-I don’t know? It worked right?”

“Yeah but you almost didn’t come back…” Destiny grabs my hand. “You fell to deep…”

“Did you see it?” I asked her.

“Yes and no. Every time we were close to a name you feel in deeper. There was so much…” I see her choke back some tears.

“Ugh my stomach…” The skin on my belly was burning and stinging. I reach down a pull my shirt up slightly.

“Oh shit…” I hear Peter say.

I look down and see on my own skin was a crudely carved circle. I squint my eyes and noticed it was a snake eating its own tail…


	13. High

Destiny bandaged the cut on my belly and helps me walk over to the kitchen island where Roman and Peter were talking. My body felt so strained and worn out.

"So the White Tower... there could be something there." Roman states.

"Ouroboros..." I say. Destiny hands me a glass of vodka on ice.

"It's five o'clock somewhere..." She taps my glass with hers and we take a gulp.

"The Godfrey Tower, our next lead I'm assuming." Peter says. "Um, today at school Letha," Roman shoots Peter and disapproving look, "was telling me your Uncle has a patient that claims to be in the woods the night of Alexi Cartwright's murder..."

"Oh that was the Pullman guy that was in the newspaper, he's homeless."

"Yeah, I'm trying to get Letha to get some info from her dad." Peter says.

I glance over at Roman and he has is arms crossed and his brows were furrowed.

"Well, I think Raquel needs to get some rest, right boys." Destiny says and they both nod.

Roman walks over to me and takes my hand. We say bye to Destiny, Peter follows us out. Roman opens the car door for me and eases me in. He leans in and buckles my belt.

"Stay in the car." He commands and slams the car door closed.

Roman and Peter are at the front of the car, there was a strong tension between them. Roman pulls out two cigarettes and puts them to his lips and lights them. He hands the second to Peter.

"What the fuck are you thinking?" Roman says strongly. I can hear them from inside the car.

"Look, Letha snooping in her dads office isn't going to get her hurt."

"She's my cousin. She's fucking pregnant." Roman blows smoke in Peters face, it was a bit unavoidable since they stood so close to each other.

"You don't think I understand that?"

"The other day I fuckin saw you and her together! Why?" Roman wags a finger at him and Peter looked surprised.

"It's not what you think, Roman. She's just bored." Peter says. "You need to get away from all of this, man it's not good for you. It's not good for Raquel either, shit." Peter points at me in the car and Roman glances at me. I hear Roman's voice in my head, stay in the car.

"I bet you'd like that. I bet you'd find that convenient... Peter, if you fuck my cousin I'll kill you. You're not better than me, you fucking gypsy piece of shit!" Roman throws down his cigarette and gets in the car. He peels out in front of Peter and we speed off.

"That was harsh as hell, Roman."

"Fuck him." Roman grabs a gold coke vial out his inner blazer pocket.

He taps a bump on the webbing between his thumb and index finger and switches driving hands to take a hit. He pinches the bridge of his nose. He screws the cap back on the vial and starts to put it back up and I stop him. I wanted anything that could ease my pain and take the images from my mind, even if it was just for awhile. I take the vial from him and prepare a bump on my hand as well.

"Raquel...?" Roman tries to stop me but I had already put my hand to my nose and snorted the powder.

The white powder burned and then my nose felt numb. I relax down in to my seat and close my eyes and felt so much adrenaline yet I was relaxed, the aches and pain in my body become numb and I fell at ease. My body was tingling the same way after you just had the best orgasm of your life. I start to laugh. Everything I touched felt like satin. Roman side eyed me.

"Jesus, don't ever do that again. Have you even done coke before?" Roman asks.

"Nope." I giggle.

"God damn it." He takes his thumb and wipes powder off my nose.

We pull up to the house and I get out myself, everything looked beautiful. Roman walks up to me and takes my hand. I feel the high lessen a notch but I was still pretty keyed up. We get to Roman's room.

"Go lay down." He points to the bed.

I do as he says and I lay there for a moment and I start to roll around and laugh. I get tired quickly and laid on my back. I close my eyes and I hear my heart beating in my ears. I run my hand over my boob, down my stomach and stopped at the waist of my jeans. Before I could even sneak my hand under the waist band I hear Roman.

"Come over here." He was being so authoritative today.

I walk to him and he takes my hand and walks me to the bath he'd drawn. He starts to undress me. I stood before him completely naked and he was fully clothed. It made me horny. I grab his bulge and try to unbutton his trousers and he yanks my hand way.

"No. Get in the tub."

"At least kiss me..." I pout.

He tells me no and to get in the tub again while he walks away to place his blazer on the sink counter. He was wearing a black v neck underneath. I get in the warm bath, it felt great too. I lean back. Roman kneels next to the tub and pushes my hair back.

"Don't fuckin do this again." He says.

"But you do it." I bite my lip.

"That doesn't mean shit... I'm sorry. I know I promised but this is for your own good." Before I could protest he looks me in the eyes and I am in the tunnel. "You're not going to do cocaine, ever again you hear me?" I nod. "I never did this to you, right?" I nod. "Okay good girl." He quickly wipes away his nose bleed before I come to.

I take my wet hand and touch his face.

"You're so beautiful." He holds my hand there and gives me an endearing smile.

"No, you're beautiful but sometimes you can be stupid." He adds.

I roll my eyes and he smirks. He starts to lather a loofah and scrub at my body, it felt more like little tickles. I giggle. He reaches the jaggedly cut circle on my belly.

"Does this hurt?" He dabs at it. I shake my head no. "Stupid question, you're high as shit." He shakes his head disapprovingly yet smiles.

He finishes scrubbing my belly and doesn't continue down like I expected.

"Go lower." I pout.

He side eyed me looking a bit annoyed and said no. I roll my eyes. This seemed to be the usual pattern. He starts to wash my hair for me. It was like a massage. He rinses the soap out and he goes to his blazer to pulls out a cigarette. I sit in the tub playing with the bubbles around me. He comes back with the cigarette lit and kneels next to me again. He traces the, mostly healed, cut on my forehead with his finger. He blows smoke in my direction.

"You're so beat up." He says. "I'm sorry."

"Then make it better." I grab his hand and put it on my bare breast.

I lean up to kiss him and he tries to resist. He turns his head so I kiss his neck and I bite at his collar bone. His hand is still on my wet boob and I feel him kneading it. He seemed unaware that he was even doing it. I take his face in my hand and force his to kiss me and he gives in. He kisses me deeply, our tongues in each other's mouth. He tasted like the cigarette. He has my nipple in between his thumb and finger and pinches and pulls at it. I try to hook my fingers under his trousers and he swats my hand away again and says no. He gets rid of the cig so that he could slowly slide his hand down. It dips into the water and he starts to rub on my clit. It felt good as it usually does but since I was high I felt too good. I lean back in the tub and moan. He sneaks a finger in me and continues to rub me with his thumb. I reach over to him again, this time I just pet at his erection through his trousers. He doesn't stop me from doing this. He leans down and kisses me at the same time that he inserts another finger. I arch my back and let out a loud moan. I start to move my hips while he fingers me. I grip the sides of the tub bracing myself since I was about to come. Roman stops before it even happens.

He tells me to get out of the tub. I am a little frustrated but I do as he says and I rise out of the water. He takes my hand and walks me over to the sink counter. Roman turns me around so that he's behind me and puts my hands on the ledge. I watch him swiftly take his shirt off through the mirror. He tells me to lean down and spread my legs more. Dipping his hand down he compliments me on my wetness and then slaps my ass. I giggle. He unbuckles his belt and trousers and slides them down. He has one hand gripping my ass and the other guiding himself in. The first thrust slams into me and I cry out. The coke high still had my body tingling and this just intensified the feeling, I almost felt like too much. Roman and I make eye contact through the mirror in front of us, I give him a lip biting smile. He leans down on me and bites down on my shoulder. His hands grab my tits and he runs one down to rub my clit again. My moans echo around us in the bathroom. He leans back up and pulls my hair, it makes my head whip back. I feel that I am about to come but Roman, wanting to tease me, slowed his pace. I am panting hard and I feel sweat on my brow. Roman reaches around me to his blazer and pulls out a box cutting knife and spins it around his fingers. I wasn't really scared of this kink he had anymore. Can't say it didn't catch me off guard, though. I tell him to fuck me harder and he smirked at me. I start to rub my own clit to make myself come but he grabs it and puts it back on the counter. Roman wanted my climax to come from him only. He then takes his blade and makes a small cut right above his pubic area. He takes me by the hips and starts to thrust into me harder and faster. I'm moaning and right before I cum I scream his name. I feel him fill me and he leans back down on me and holds me. He's panting and trying to catch his breath. We both straighten up and I turn around and bring his face down to kiss me. We stood there like that for a minute. Roman then get a damp a wash cloth and wipes the blood off his pubes and dick. He tells me to turn around and wipes his blood off me. 

We walk back to the room naked. I went to go lay down while Roman picked some boxers to wear and a t shirt for me. My eyelids felt heavy. I relaxed and slide under the covers. And just like that I feel asleep and started dreaming...


	14. Dreams

My dream was just a mess of images. Different parts of the vision I shared with Peter blend in with the images from the hypnosis. My dead dog on the fence, the full moon turning blood red, the menacing angel, the wolf eyes, ouroboros. I'm trying to wake myself up from this nightmare but I couldn't no matter how much I willed it. Before I wake Letha appears to me in my dream walking towards me with a glow around her and she caresses her pregnant belly.

"Do you believe in angels?" Her voice reverberated and echoed around me.

I open my mouth to speak but before I can Letha disappears and Dr. Chasseur takes her place. She's wearing bloody war paint.

"Do you know why you're here?" She says and walks towards me. "It all part of the plan." She starts to walk around me looking me up and down, sizing me up.

"What plan?" I ask

"If you had gone deeper you would have known." She whispers in my ear. "Nothing good is going to come from this, Raquel... Do you believe in god?"

"I don't know?" I slightly shrug.

"God... doesn't want you to be happy... he wants you to be strong." She's standing in front of me now. "You better ask for forgiveness before it's too late."

"Too late?"

"The plan ends with you dead."

She turns to mist and fades away. The werewolf with its ugly yellow eyes takes her place and starts running towards me, I cannot move. Its mouth opens to chomp at me and close my eyes and scream.

Roman is shaking me awake and I hear the end of my scream. I frantically touch him and his face, making sure he was real. He looked scared.

"Calm down." He says is reassuringly. "What was it?"

"Fuck, I don't know." I sit up right, still naked.

"Just tell me what you remember." He rubs the small of my back.

I told him everything because I remembered everything. It all felt too real even though I knew I was dreaming.

"Well what the fuck is all that supposed to mean?" Roman asks annoyed that he can't make sense of anything.

"What the fuck, asshole?! I know just as much as you!"

"Sheeit." He says.

He picks up a single cigarettes that had be laying on his night stand and lights it. I lay on my back and put my hands on my boobs to cover them and also because I didn't know what else to do with my hands. I watch Roman smoke and looks like he's deep in thought.

"How do you feel?" He turns to me and asks since the last time I was conscious I was coked out.

"Okay, I guess. I have a head ache and my body hurts again." He nods along to what I say.

He asks if I need a shirt and pokes one of my hands. I say yes he goes to his dresser for one and he also pulls out a bottle of bourbon that he had stashed. He throws the shirt at my face playfully. He takes a drinking of the bourbon and hands the bottle to me after I put the white shirt on. I take a swig.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"Five in the morning." He blows smoke.

"Ugh I just want to go back to sleep." I stretch. "Roman." He turns to me. "Why haven't I met your mom?" It was a random thought even for myself. He shoots me a confused look.

"You want to meet my mom? Have I not told enough horror stories about Olivia?" He takes the bourbon bottle out of my hand and takes a gulp. "I don't want her butting into our business. I don't want her messing up... what we have."

"And what is that?" I feel my heart flutter and that was an odd feeling for me.

"I mean... we are together all the time... I don't know." He looked a bit nervous.

"What are you trying to say Roman?"

"You know I like you... D-do you like me, Raquel?" I say yes. "Why?"

"I'm not sure why but I know I like you even though you're an asshole." He rolls his eyes. "Why do you like me?"

"Raquel you know why, I've told you." I smirk, to be honest I just wanted to hear him say it again. "Well..." He looks at me like I have the answer which I do I just want to hear him ask the question.

"Well, what?" I say.

"Raquel..." He tilts his head.

"Roman, just fuckin say it."

"Will you go out with me? Be my girlfriend?" He asks softly.

"I guess so..." I joke. "Yes, Roman that would be nice." He smiles and leans down for a kiss.

Just like that. I went from hating Roman, living a life that avoided his but here I am basically naked, if it weren't for his tee shirt, laying in his bed at 5 in the morning. I almost don't recognize myself but at the same time I feel like this is exactly where I need to be. I was Roman Godfrey's girlfriend. Weird, I thought. My thoughts were soon cut short with Roman straddling me and going in deeper with the kiss.

Roman and I take a shower together, our bodies still buzzing from the sex we just finished having. Afterwards we get dressed and Roman takes me home to chill and check on my brother. Roman kisses me before I go and leaves to run errands. The first on his list he said, was apologize to Peter. Those two are something else, I thought to myself. When I entered the house it was littered with beer cans and a few liquor bottles. I call out my brother's name and there wasn't a response. I kick a can out the way before I head up stairs. I knock at my brother's door and still no response. He was passed out in his boxers and there was a naked girl in his bed. Her breasts were out of the covers she had on the rest of her body. Liam stirs in his sleep.

"Liam..." I whisper at first. "Liam!" He opens and eye. "Wake the fuck up."

"What fuckin time is it?" He stretches. I look at the clock on his wall and noticed it was still early in the morning.

"10:30." I round out. "Did you have a fuckin party?"

"Just a few friends, not a party." He scratches himself.

"Well you better clean the shit down stairs." I say as his big sister. "Have you gone to school?"

"No..." He covers his eyes with his arm. "You haven't been either anyways."

"I just asking asshole."

There was a knock at the door. I ask Liam if he was expecting someone and he has said no. I made my way down the stairs and I could see through the door window it was Dr. Chasseur. I pinch myself to make sure I'm not having a fucked up dream. Fucking great, I say to myself when I realized this was my reality. I don't know if this Chasseur had good or bad timing. I answer and she greets me. She peers in the house and notices the mess.

"Party?" She inquires.

"I guess so. My brother had friends over, while I wasn't here." I say and she lifts a brow. "We can talk out here." We both take a seat on the patio bench.

"So just a few last things." She starts. "So a week back you mentioned Christina Wendall being at the steel mill party, right?" I nod yes. "She said she wasn't at the party."

"What? She lying." I argue.

"She did mention that Peter was there... which strikes me as odd, you know, because she said she wasn't there in the first place."

"Why did she mention Peter?" I ask.

"Well you know the rumor is Peter is a werewolf. Would you agree that he is?" She's trying to get something out of me I can tell.

"A werewolf?" I pretend to be oblivious. "You know people just say that because he's new, there's no such thing as werewolves."

"Yes, I get that but why a werewolf?" She squints her eyes trying to read me.

"Cause people are assholes." I shrug.

"Hmmm. You said you weren't here last night may I ask where you were."

"Is it important?"

"It helps keep a time stamp on people I can later rule out, if there's an attack."

"I was with Roman Godfrey." I say and she lifts a brow.

"You two are quite the friends now. I've heard from people that you two really didn't have a real friendship."

"Things change." I say.

"As they do." She concludes this interrogation and leaves.

I walk back in the house and see my brother picking some cans up from the floor he was still in his boxer briefs.

"Dude, why are the cops always around you? What did you do?"

"Nothing." I say and then I hear the first step on the stair case creak as it always does.

It was the girl that was in my brother's bed. Now fully clothed yet still disheveled. It was Alexa Sworn. I give my brother a 'what the fuck' look. Then I realized this was a good opportunity. I blocked the front door way and waited for her to approach me.

"Alexa." She looks nervous. "Tell me what's the deal with Christina." She tries to push past me. "You can't leave until you tell me something."

"Raquel, what the fuck?" Liam says but I ignore him.

"Alexa I'm talking to you." She looks up at me.

"I don't know what's wrong with her. She's been acting weird for a while now." She says sheepishly.

"Why is she saying Peter is a fucking werewolf?" I ask

"This summer she hung out with him and he told her. Something about his two fingers being the same length. I don't know he was probably just entertaining her weird assumptions." She says.

"What was wrong with her at the steel mill party? Did you give her drugs?" I cross my arms.

"What? No Christina would never. I'm not sure she just got all weird and said she was leaving. I don't remember much from that night I was fucked up."

"Well I'm not too sure about her. She's given me shitty looks and is lying to the fucking cops."

"She hasn't been right. She's the one who found Karen King by the river's edge. Ever since then sees been having nightmares. Her parents put her on meds."

"Sheeit." I kind of felt bad. "That's all?" Alexa nods. "Okay, you can go."

She says bye to Liam and leaves.

"Really, Liam? A freshmen twat that is also the Sheriffs daughter?" I say.

"Raquel you're fuckin boyfriend is Roman Godfrey! That's more embarrassing!"

I was about to tell him Roman wasn't my boyfriend but I stopped myself when I realized he was.

"Fuck you! You want the cops on your ass too?" He shakes his head no. "Then quit fucking with Alexa Sworn." He rolls his eyes at me. "I'm serious if her dad finds out you're fucked!"

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I talked to Natalie and Viv on the phone and caught up with them and then Liam later came into my room with his phone on speaker so that we could both talk to our parents. They said our aunt is still not doing well and do not know when they'll be back. They asked what we have been doing and of course we lie about everything. We're both not doing anything we need to be doing. Later, I took a nap that ended up taking most of my day. You know those 30 minute naps you promise yourself and end up waking hours later instead. When I woke up the lights were out in my house and the whole block. It was raining and lightning outside. I look out my window and see Roman's Jaguar parked in the front...


	15. Ugly

I blindly make my way down stairs since the lights were out it was hard to see. I took my pants off before I took a nap so I was just wearing Roman’s white tee shirt and my panties. By the time I make it to the door I see Roman standing in the rain looking a little vacant. I open the door a cold breeze and droplets of water hit me. I made my nipples hard and press against my shirt. I see that Roman's forehead is bleeding and it worried me.

“Roman what are you doing? Get inside.” I motion him to come in.

“No light.” He says robotically.

“Yeah, looks like the whole block lost power. Now get inside.” A chill hits me again.

“I just rain…”

I urge him to come inside again. He walks towards me soaking wet even through his khaki rain coat.

I grab his hand and take him to my room. Liam cracked open his door to see what was going on and then shut it immediately after he saw it was just us.

“Take off your clothes and I can put them in the dryer.” I turn to him he was acting weird but I wasn’t going to question him until he got comfortable.

Roman stands only in his underwear and hands me his wet clothes. I hand him a satin baby pink kimono so that he could wrap himself, it looked quite comical but I didn’t mention it. His legs looked nice, I thought. Before I leave to the laundry room I tell him where I kept my candles so that he could light a few. I come back and my room is illuminated in a soft glow from the candle light. I see him messing with the clutter of makeup and jewelry I have on top of my dresser and he stops when she sees me.

“Are you okay?” I ask and point at the cut on his hairline.

He just shrugs. I take his hand again and walk him over to the chair I have next to my bed. I wrap a duvet around his shoulders. I sit on my bed directly in front of him. He looked melancholy, clearly upset. I get taken a back remembering Roman before he was my friend. I remember in our freshmen year, in gym class, girls had to run laps on the opposite side of the court from the boys. I remember him and a few other boys pointed at me smirking and laughing and make rude comments about my boobs. Which were pretty big for my 9th grade body and it made me self-conscious. I remember him never taking interest in anyone in particular, disregarding girl’s advances unless he wanted it. Then sometimes Prince Roman would do kind gestures that I’ve never seen him do for anyone else but me. If I dropped a pencil in class he would reach for it and hand it back to me. Sometimes he would hold open the door if he knew I was behind him. Small gestures, but this is Roman Godfrey he never had to do or answer to anyone. And now he’s here in my room, in my kimono, in his underwear, soaking wet, and he was my boyfriend.

“What’s wrong, Roman?” He doesn’t answer me. “Roman, please talk to me.” I grab both of his hands and they were freezing.

“I saw them.” He looks up at me. “Before… I went to the white tower and then I wasn’t in the white tower and then I saw them.”

“Okay, tell me from the beginning. Slow down.” I say softly. He takes a deep breath.

“I went to the White Tower and I spoke to Pryce about Ouroboros but after that I don’t remember. I don’t even know what he said, I was just back in my car. I can’t remember anything…” He says distressed. I rub the back of his palms with my thumbs. “So I start the car and I’m a little freaked out you know… and so I go to Peters. I know I was supposed to go there first… anyways I saw them.”

“Saw who?” I ask.

“Peter and Letha…” He bows his head back down. “He fuckin lied to me.”

“Roman you have to know that Letha is going to do what she wants, I know you love her. You should trust her judgement. Peter’s your best friend you can trust him too.” He nods a long to what I say to him and then we fall silent for a moment.

“What happened to your head?” I try to wipe away some of the dried blood with the back of my index finger and he winces.

“I don’t know it was there when I was back in my car. Must have happened in the White Tower.”

“You can’t remember anything?” I push his damp hair out of his eyes.

“No… Pryce must have fucking drugged me.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Fuck…” He fell silent.

I see a tear roll slowly down his face. It glistened refracting light from one of the lit candles. It was then I noticed Roman looked like a cherub under the soft light.

“Roman…” I flick the tear away.

“I’m ugly.”

“What?”

“I’m an ugly person.” He sniffles.

“Roman stop…”

“I have an ugliness... that’s impossible to love.”

“That’s not true.” I caress his face. “Why would you think that?” He stares vacantly behind me. “Roman, you’re beautiful. I wish you could see how I see you.” I wipe away more tears.

He continues to sob and it was just a sad sight. This poor boy is so confused, I thought to myself.

“Roman, it’s okay.” I caress his face and he starts to settle down.

He takes a deep breath. I lean in a give him a peck on the lips and hold his face in my hands. He looks at me and he then holds my face too. He runs a finger across my brow and traces my nose and finally my lips. He places two fingers on my lips and I kiss them. His other hand runs through my hair and he tugs lightly at first and then he grips harder and it jerks my head back. Surprisingly it turns me on. He stands up and I do too since he still had a hold of my hair. We kiss each other a little too urgently. Roman bit my lip and I could taste blood. He kisses down to my neck and sucks at the sensitive flesh. He walks forward, pushing me back to the bed. I crawl backwards on the bed and he follows. He runs his hands under my shirt and grabs on to my bare breasts, involuntarily I lightly thrust my hips anticipating him. His body was freezing against my warm body. He lifts my shirt over my head and tosses it. I can feel his erection press on my vagina when he leaned over to grab my hands to place my them on the bars of my bed frame. Roman pulls the sash out of the kimono and uses it to tie my hands up to the rails. The knot he tied would tighten the more I resisted, pretty elaborate.

“Oh shit…” I whisper.

Roman leans back and shimmies the kimono off his shoulders. He looks at me and rubs his dick through his underpants, I bite my lip, I was ready. He delicately slips my panties and tosses them in the same direction he tossed the shirt. He starts kissing me from my knee down my inner thigh. I was pulsing. He reaches the end of my right thigh and goes to my left inner thigh to leave a little trail of hickies. He then plunges his face into me. Licking and sucking, he was being relentless. I could barely catch my breath. I thrust into his face and he reached up and to play with my nipples. I noticed he was being more rough that usual but it felt too good. He takes one hand back to finger me, he goes full on with two fingers. He’s licking me and fingering me fast and I am writhing. I come the first time and he stops abruptly. He’s kneeling in front of me and he looked tired and a little dazed.

“You’re turn…” I say wanting to return the favor.

“No.” He’s not looking at me instead he’s looking at himself through the mirror I have above my bed frame. His eyes looked lost like puppy.

“Roman?” He slides his underwear off and his erection springs free. I lick my lips at his hardness.

He takes me by the ankles and flips me over. My bottom was up but my hands were twisted in an awkward way. I look back and Roman didn’t look like my Roman…

“Roman untie me.” He ignored me.

He smacks my ass hard I could feel the sting taking the shape of his hand. Usually this would turn me on but his eyes showed nothing. He positions himself at my entrance and pushed in hard. I wince at his roughness. My own wetness and arousal at all of this confused me. I fucked me hard and I couldn’t help but moan.

“Roman…” I say in between moans. “Too rough…” I say but he didn’t listen.

He was still staring at himself in the mirror. I tried to twist back around but he holds my hips down. He thrusts faster.

“Tell me I’m ugly.” He commands.

“What…” I say.

“Tell me I’m ugly.” He slaps my ass again.

“…You’re ugly…”

“Again.”

“You’re ugly.”

He tells me to repeat it and every time I said it he winces. He’s breathing hard and sweating. My body instinctually wants to flee but my arousal is doing other things. I look at Roman and he almost looks disconnected from what he was doing. His finger nails dug into my thigh. I whimper from the pain of it.

“Roman, that hurts!” He ignores me again. I try to swing my leg over but he clamps down harder. “Stop! Roman!” He finally looks at me. “Roman…” I plea.

As soon as he cums he stops and leans down to rest his head on my shoulder. He starts to cry again. He lean back up and pulls out of me. He reaches behind me and unties me from the bars. I massage my wrists as soon as I was free. I laid on my back again trying to catch my breath and trying to make sense of what just happened. Roman sat up next to me he had his head in his hands. I call his name but he doesn’t acknowledge it. I sit up and try to pry Roman’s hands away from his face but he flexed his muscles so that I wouldn’t be able to.

“Roman…what the fuck?!” I lay back down.

I gave up trying to pull his hands away from his face. Roman steadies his breath and quickly wipes away at his face. He lays down next to me and tries to touch my face but I back away from it. I didn’t want him to touch me at least not right now.

“I’m not okay…” He says softly. “I’m sorry…”

I didn’t even know what to say. I didn’t even know if I should forgive him.

“You’re letting everything get in your head. I get that. But don’t take that shit out on me especially not like that… you scared me…”

“Sometimes… I hear things and see things… and I don’t know why but there’s something in me that isn’t normal…” He says.

“Let me help you. There are ways to help what you can’t help.”

“I’m not fuckin schizo it’s something else… I don’t know I can feel here.” He points to the center of his chest. “And you know it too you’ve said before ‘whatever it is you are I’d still like you’ you said that.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“You were fucked up on valium but that’s beside the point. I know you can feel it too.” He points to the center on my chest. I take his hand and I hold on to it.

“Okay, beside all of this shit don’t hate fuck me ever again. Not like that. You didn’t look like yourself, it was fucking terrifying.”

“I’m sorry it’s just-- I’m sorry there’s no excuse.”

“I forgive you this time… but if you ever do that again you’ll never see me again, I swear.”

Roman lets go of my hand and touches my face, I allow him this time. He rubs his thumbs over my furrowed brows and smooth’s them out.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Stop. What ever it is you are I’ll be here, okay? We should get some sleep.”

I get up from bed to find something to sleep in. Roman gets under my covers and watches me maneuver the best I can in the candle light. When I got in bed we laid there we didn’t say anything. I looked at the clock and an hour had passed and we still weren’t asleep.

“I can’t sleep.” Roman strokes the back of my head.

“Me neither. I can get something that’ll help us sleep.” He nods and I slip out of bed.

I go to Liam’s room and he was playing a video game. He takes his headset off when we sees me.

“Hey, you got anything that’ll help me sleep?”

“Shit, Raquel.” He laughs. “Yeah I have some Xanax still, some weed that’ll mellow you out uh… some pain killers?” He raises his brows and looks up as he lists his inventory.

“Fuck Liam! How long have you been selling shit?” I was surprised with all he had.

“Almost a year. I’ve sold shit to Nat and Viv they never told you?” He laughs when I nod no. “Those bitches. So what do you want?”

“I don’t know what do you recommend doctor?” I say sarcastically.

Liam smirks and walks over to his closet to pull a box out from the very back.

“Here, take these Vicodin these will put you on your ass. They’re the highest milligram, you’ll sleep like a baby.” I grab the 4 pills and head back to my room.

I come back and Roman is reading a text from someone.

“Who’d texting you?”

“Peter…” He puts his phone away. “I don’t want to talk to him right now.”

“I understand… but what did the he say?”

“Pullman, the homeless guy, killed himself…”

“Sheeit. So where do we go from there?” Roman just shrugs.

“What did your drug dealing brother give you?” He says sarcastically.

“Wait, did you know my brother was a dealer since I’ve known you?”

“Yeah, he’s sold me coke that was cut with baking soda, it was bullshit. Why did you just find out recently?”

“Yeah what the fuck?” We laugh. “Here, he gave me some Vicodin.”

“Oh shit!” He says excitedly.

I take a pill before Roman. I feel the effect almost immediately. My muscles relax and my mind slowly stops racing. Roman takes his next. I snuggle into his side and he wraps his arm around me. I look up at him and he’s looking at me.

“Have I told you that you’re an angel?”

He chuckles and I drift off. I could feel Roman slowly slip his arm off of me and then I was all alone in my bed. If I could move I’d do something, maybe even open my eyes or even say something but sleep took me.


	16. Coma

I woke up alone. I crawled out of bed and went to peer out my front window and Roman's car was gone. I walk to my night stand and check my phone for a message at least.

Roman: I'll see you at school. Sorry I left you. Important stuff.

Important stuff? The text was too vague. I don't have a clue as to why Roman would leave me for "important stuff" I suppose I would have to ask him when I see him later. I hurry and pick and outfit but I as I passed my full length mirror I noticed small bruises on my thighs. I didn't realize Roman held me down so tightly. I poked at one of the finger sized bruises and watched it disappear and then reappear as I let off. I quickly glanced at my clock, 30 minutes until school starts. I dress myself in one of Roman's grey tee shirts I've had and I tied it off to make it less baggy, my army green military jacket, boyfriend jeans and my new white converse. While I tie my shoes I notice there were 3 Vicodin on my nightstand. I thought that he had taken his. Why would he lie like that? I go and yell at my brother Liam to wake up for school needless to say he wasn't thrilled. While he got ready I did my signature winged eye liner. I waited for Liam down stairs. I texted Roman.

Raquel: Good morning. Are you okay?

I don't know why but I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something wasn't right but the more I dwell on the feeling the more I realized everything that has happened so far isn't right to begin with. Everything must be getting to my head. Liam drives us to school in our shared mid 2000's Honda Civic. I bum a cigarette from him and I thought why am I even smoking right now? I generally never had a taste for them. I scratch at my head and smoke it anyway.

I got through my first couple of classes and I never happen to bump into Roman during the morning or passing period. I was becoming anxious. I would catch myself and have to stop from nervously shaking my leg in class. At lunch I meet with Natalie and Viv as I usually do though I does feel like I haven't seen them in forever. We talk and catch up, the usual. I would occasionally scour the cafeteria behind them hoping Roman would make an appearance. I even looked for Peter or even Letha and there wasn't any sign of them either. While Nat speaks on one her new sexual conquests I text Roman again.

Raquel: Where are you?

I see that my morning text wasn't even read.

Raquel: Roman this isn't funny. Call me as soon as you see this.

Vivienne notices that I'm worried and I try my best to rehide my emotion.

"Did you and Roman get in a fight?" Viv inquires.

"No, he was over last night and left but he said he'd see me here but I haven't seen him all day." I shrug trying to make it seem like I don't care.

"He probably off being a weirdo with Peter somewhere." Natalie says as she still chewing her salad.

"I saw Peter with Letha before I got here to the cafeteria." Viv says and points out how gross chewing food and talking is to Nat.

"Are Letha Godfrey and Peter Rumancek fucking?" Nat asks me as she wipes at her mouth.

"I don't know shit." I push my mashed potatoes around with my spork.

"That sounds like you do, bitch." Vivienne raises an eyebrow at me.

I just shrug.

"What are you all up to anyways?" Natalie asks.

"Nothing really. I've been helping them with English." I lie.

I've always had a good handle on English studies so they both didn't question it. Although I felt like they knew I was lying, I suppose they didn't want to know much either.

After lunch, I have Art class which I was excited for because Shelley shares the same class. I figure I could ask her where Roman was but when I enter there was a blank canvas all alone in the corner she usually assigned herself to. What the fuck, I thought. I check my messages to see if Roman texted, nothing, not even a read receipt. At this point I just wanted school to be over already. I ended up trance drawing in art class making myself look busy so that the instructor wouldn't bother me. My mind was on Roman and his whereabouts. The teacher looked over my shoulder to see what I was working on.

"Wow, great detail on the wings." Ms. Hurley commented.

I focused on what I was drawing. That's when I noticed I was absent mindedly drawing the fucking Angel I've been seeing in the depths of my mind. I ask for permission to use the bathroom and leave. My steps echoed in the empty hallway. I get to the ladies room and splashed water on my face. I'm fucking losing it. I look at myself in the mirror as I dab the water off my face with the shitty brown napkins provided. The ouroboros carved on my belly stings all of a sudden. Something is wrong.

I slowly pull it together after Art. I went to my locker before English Literature, my last hour. I grab my copy of Wuthering Heights and shut the locker door. Letha was standing behind the door and startled me. She apologizes for scaring me.

"Raquel, its Roman..." she starts.

Fuck, I think. It had to be bad she'd never talk to me otherwise. I prepare for the worst.

"He - he's in a coma..." I feel like all the wind has be punched out of me.

Peter walks up behind Letha and he can see in my face that I just found out.

"H-how?" I manage to choke out.

"He OD'd..." Peter says. "Do you have any idea why he went to the fucking institute?"

I shake my head no.

"He went again?" I feel my face getting hot.

"Again?" Peter and Letha both say.

We ditch our last hour, get into Peter's station wagon and head to Roman's house. I explain what had happened with Roman before he arrived to my house, to them. I explained all I could without Letha knowing exactly what I and the boys have been up to. Of course, I left out the fact that part of Roman's episode was from him seeing them together. I didn't tell them about us either. I skipped straight to the fact that he left me alone in bed, the last place I seen him. My heart was racing the whole way to Roman place. We pull up and Letha leads the way into the house. We get to Shelley's room which is actually the attic, I hesitate to enter. Peter looks back at me and takes my hand and gives me a reassuring look. He essentially drags me in. I see the back of Roman's head and Shelley sitting at the side of him. My legs feel like led and I am fixed at the doorway. Letha goes over to Shelley and gives her a hug. She types away on her phone.

"Why did he do this?" Her surrogate voice asks.

Letha holds on to her and comforts her.

"C'mon Shell let's go to make some hot chocolate. Take a little break, baby." She swipes her finger along her cheek and the skin glows blue underneath.

The both walk past me, I am still stuck at the door way.

"Raquel? You can do this." Peter says and I shuffle my feet.

His whole body comes into view as I get closer. This was really happening Roman was in a coma like a real one. I take a deep breath and it still didn't feel like enough. I let go of Peters hand and take Roman hand that laid at his side.

"God damn it Roman..." Peter says. "What was he doing at the White Tower? Letha is gone right now, tell me everything."

"He went to talk to Dr. Pryce about Ouroboros... and after that he woke up in his car. He couldn't remember what happened in between then." I turn to look at Roman he looked so peaceful.

"Ouroboros, what the fuck." Peter runs a hand through his hair. "Is he stupid? Roman why are you so stupid." He address him even though he can't respond. "You said he was acting weird when you saw him?" I nod.

"He was like in a trance but he was also dazed. He was being more mean that usual but he seemed to pull out of it before I went to sleep, though. He thinks Pryce drugged him..." I say.

"So his stubborn ass went back?" It was a rhetorical question.

Peter says he needs a smoke and leaves me alone with Roman. I kiss the top of Roman's hand. The sun beat at his pale face. I lean up to push his hair back.

"Roman, please wake up." I feel tears well up in my eyes.

I then begin to straighten him up fixing the collar to his pajamas and fitting one if his sock back to his foot. I sit down in the chair Shelley sat at and hold his hand to my cheek.

"So you must be Ms. Quinn." I hear a strong female voice say to me in a British accent.

I look over and see an attractive woman at the door way. She was elegant in her white fitted dress. It was Olivia Godfrey. I recognized her.

"Don't be alarmed, my dear." She says. "I know who you are. My boy has taken a fondness over you." She walks up and pets at Roman's head. "Do you have any idea why he would do this?" I shake my head no. "Silly monkey..." She kisses the top of his forehead.

"I'm sorry we haven't met sooner." I say.

"Don't worry, darling. You should know how stubborn and prideful Roman is more than I do, I suppose."

"I just hate that we've had to meet like this."

She takes a cigarette out from a gold case and lights it.

"It is quite a shame..." She says as my attention goes back to Roman. "He will wake up... he's a warrior, there's no doubt." She blows smoke. "You can visit him whenever you like you know how they say it's important that those closest be around the one in a coma..." I thank her and she dismisses herself when Dr. Godfrey calls for her.

Olivia didn't seem so bad. I definitely expected worse but after all this is our first meeting. I stay with Roman for a few hours and Peter recommend that I leave, at least for tonight.

"Get rest. Call me if you need anything, okay?" Peters says to me as he pulls up to my house.

"You know last night he was going to apologize you to you, you know for what he said." I say.

"We're both assholes. We're going to say shit that'll really piss each other off, were guys." He shrugs it off.

"Are you and Letha together?" I ask.

"Yeah... I know Roman will be pissed -" I cut Peter off.

"No, I think he'll come around. You know before us all he had was Letha." Peter nods. "I just hope he wakes up." I feel tears well up again.

Peter grabs my shoulder.

"Hey," I look at him. "He's gonna wake up." He pulls me in for a hug. "Now rest."

As soon as I get in my house I go for a shower. My mind was on Roman the whole time. I couldn't even divert my thoughts away from him. I get dressed for bed and I am restless. I toss and turn. Then I remembered the Vicodin I had acquired the night before. Fuck it, I thought. I take two this time, I was asleep instantly. It was the first night I didn't dream.

I decided to continue with my usual obligations. I wait for Liam in our car, I give him a honk, we've got 15 minutes before were late for school. I was parked in the street and up ahead I see a rustling in one of the neighbor's bushes. I jump when I see a black stray dog leap out. My heart pounded against my chest. The passenger door slams and it's brings be back to my senses.

"Are you okay?" Liam looks confused.

"Uh yeah." I choke out.

"You should let me drive." He pry's my death grip hold off the steering wheel.

We rode in silence. Liam pulls into a parking space far away from the main entrance and looks at me.

"Raquel... what's wrong?"

"I just have a lot on my mind." I feel tears well up and brim over.

"Shit..." Liam puts a hand on my shoulder.

He comforts me the best a little brother could but I could tell my sobs made him uncomfortable. I try to gain control.

"Hey it's okay." He starts to dig in the center console of the car and pulls out a wrinkly joint. "Wanna smoke about it?" He smirks, trying to cheer me up.

"Fuck it." This phrase seemed to be my motto. I start wiping away tears.

We hot boxed the car and though we arrived early we ended up being ten minutes late to class anyways. Everything functioned as normal and slowly people gained knowledge of Roman's current state. I constantly received stares and people whispered around me all day. I ignored it.

I rushed out of my last hour as soon as the bell rang. I was going to go visit Roman. I reach the courtyard and start heading towards the parking lot. Christina Wendall catches my attention, it was the very thick stripe of wintry white hair patched along her frizzy brown hair that caught my eye. She sees me and I try to look away quickly.

"He deserved it you know." She boldly states.

"What?" I stop in my tracks and dart my eyes back to her.

"Roman should have died the other night." She grips on to her books.

"What the fuck did you just say?" I feel anger build up in me.

"Peter isn't going to get away with it either. You- you whore."

I walk up to Christina and pinch her cheeks together with one hand. She looks scared.

"Listen you little bitch I don't know what you're fucking problem is but trust me when I fucking find out - " I am shaking her head in my hands as a speak and I feel someone pull me away.

It was Peter. He walked me past the crowd that had gathered around us.

"C'mon, holy shit Raquel."

Peter and I ended up going together to see Roman.


	17. Help

Peter parks his station wagon outside of the Godfrey home. We sit inside the car for a moment.

“So are you going to tell me what that was about?” Peter asks.

“There’s something wrong with that girl. She was talking shit.” I was still fuming.

“Raquel she’s like mentally ill you can’t just threaten a freshmen like that.” He pulls put a cigarette to his lips.

“Fuck I know, I know.” I run my hand through my hair.

“Look, Christina is harmless. She’s just some naïve little girl. Trust me, she bothered me all summer, I would know.”

Peter smoked the cig half way then flicked the cherry off to save the rest. Peter knocks the door and Letha opened it while holding on to her pregnant belly. Letha had skipped school on a “family emergency”. Peter leaned down to kiss Letha. She informed us that Roman still hasn’t showed signs of coming out of his coma. Peter squeezed the back of my neck reassuringly.

“I’ve just been talking to him about the baby and stuff. I’m just trying to stay positive. I love my baby and I love Roman, how much more positive can I get?” She smiled but I could see the pain behind it.

Letha mentions that she planned a game night with Shelley to help get her mind off things.

“We have Clue, Life, Monopoly, Uno, and if there’s a game you can think of we can get it.” She’s say trying to stay cheerful.

Peter and Letha head to the kitchen while I got off on my own to see Roman. Peter was always wary of seeing Roman he said he's 'not good at these kind of things' and said he's with him in spirit anyway. I pass a large painting in the corridor that I’ve always walked by without acknowledging it. It was a portrait of Roman’s father J.R. Godfrey he looked sharp in his suit and his stance was very assertive. They both had the same beautiful green eyes, I noticed. I make my way to Shelley’s room. The blinds were drawn and music played softly. I walk up to Roman and kiss his dry lips it felt a bit like Sleeping Beauty but he doesn’t wake up. So much for fairytales.

“Hi Roman. I missed you today.” I squeezed his hand.

I walk over to greet Shelley. She was standing in front of her easel painting away at something. She turns to hug me and in this position I had full view of her canvas. My eyes widen. It was Ouroboros. She had painted a snake eating its own tail and in the middle was a pair of those ugly yellow eyes. Shelley turns back around to continue filling in the blood red background.

“Shelley… where have you seen this?” I point at it.

She starts to type away.

“I can’t remember?” Her electronic voice says.

“Did you see it somewhere? Did someone tell you about it?” She grunts no to both my answers. “You wouldn’t lie to me would you?”

“Never.” She types.

I give her shoulder a squeeze. What is going on in this fuckin town? I can’t get away from anything. Not even kind hearted Shelley is safe from these things.

I sat next to Roman and told him about my day. I couldn’t help but imagine his responses and his stupid sarcasm. Shelley later dismisses herself and I was alone with him. When I ran out of things to say I decide to pull my copy of Wuthering Heights to read for him.

“This isn’t a vacation Roman. You still got work to do.”

I read page after page and before I reach a good ending point I read:

“If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.”

I feel my eyes get watery and I swear I thought Roman’s hand twitched. I think I’m just making it up in my head. I blink back the tears and dog eared the page I read last.

“What are you dream of Roman? I hope it’s something nice. I’m jealous that you can take a break from all this. I think I’m losing my cool. I just want you back you asshole.” I kiss his hand.

I fix Roman’s breathing tube before I head down stairs to join everyone for game night. I wasn’t really in the mood for it but I was doing it for Shelley. We played a few games and Shelley dominated us at every game and every round we played. It was a lovely time. Shelley types with her stylus.

“It’s late… Going to bed now. Goodnight.” She hugged us all before she made her way her room.

I walk over to the mini bar in the billiards room and poured myself some vodka over ice. Peter walked over and pours himself some whiskey. Peter, Letha and I sit cross legged by the fire place.

“How was Roman doing up there?” Letha breaks the silence.

“Still sleeping.” As I take a sip of the vodka I was surprised it didn’t burn going down. Godfrey’s and their top shelf liqueur.

“So what did you find out about Pullman before he – “

“Stabbed himself in the head with a syringe?” Peter finished my sentence.

“No need to sugar coat,” Letha playfully hits him, “well he spoke in a lot of circles. He talked about finding Alexi Cartwright in the woods, supposedly. He kept mentioning something about the dragon um he said something like ‘today I have seen the dragon’” She deepened her vioce when she quoted Pullman. 

Peter and I shot a look at each other.

“And apparently he was a patient on Dr. Pryce he was in some sleep study conducted at the White Tower. Weird, huh... But not much else. He seemed pretty sick in the head.” Letha shrugged. “I’m going to get some water since I can’t drink like you two.” She raises her brows at us.

Peter tries to be polite offers to go for her but she said she needed to move around and told him to sit.

“So guess where you’re best friend Christina is?” Peter says when Letha leaves the room.

I roll my eyes and he continues.

“She’s in the psych ward now…” He straighten his legs out.

“Oh shit…” I take another sip. “So what, is this my fault?” I say sarcastically.

“Well she’s had issues to begin with… but I overheard Norman talking to Letha that she was admitted after she had like a panic attack after I pulled you away.”

“Fuckin great.” I didn’t have any sympathy for that girl not after the bullshit she said to me.

Letha came back and they both were telling about the dinner they’re going to have with Letha’s parents. Peter looked nervous about it and I found it quit comical. I wish them well and I assure them it'll go well, but mostly I say it for Peter. Spending the evening with them I could tell they really liked each other and it seemed Letha was tolerant of me at least. Girls and their bitchy vibes sometimes and I know I can be a big bitch when it counts.

I follow Letha and Peter out and stop by the stairs as the exit. I start walking up the stairs and stop when I hear Letha come back in.

“I forgot my bag…” I nod and walk up the stairs again. “Raquel…” I stop. “I know we’ve never really talked before or anything until now but I’m really glad you’re here. I know Roman has always liked you, he never had to tell me, I could tell by the way he looked at you in class or in the hallways at school. I’ve never seen him look at anyone like that but you. If- when he wakes up you’ll be the first person he sees and I know you’re all he wants.”

I just nod and tell her thank you. It was really endearing and really surprising to hear. 

When I go up to the second floor I visit Roman’s room and lay in his bed. I smelled his covers and wrapped myself in them, I found it comforting. I laid there think about what Letha said and then I thought about how much I would disregard Roman and basically ignore him unless I couldn’t help it. Like that one time in 10th grade we were assigned to be science partners and I begrudgingly shuffled over to him. We had to dissect stinky frogs that day and I tried everything to not look at him directly and I barely talked to him. I had to pass him a scalpel and our hands touched and a charge went through us. I quickly pulled my hand back and sliced myself with the blade in the process. Roman pulls a handkerchief out of his back pocket and wraps my hand before the blood spilled over my palm.

“Don’t touch me.” I say turning my body away from him.

I remembered he mumbled something and now that I think of it I think he said something like ‘let me help you’. I would of never of guessed he would say anything like that at the time and didn’t bother to decipher what he said either.

I get out of Roman’s bed and go to his dresser for a shirt and some shorts I could borrow. I enter Shelley’s room and she was soundly asleep. I crawl in the hospital bed next to Roman and laid my head on his chest and I listened to his heart beating and his slow breathing. I look up at him.

“Let me help you.” I say and let his heart beat lull me to sleep.


	18. Charge

A week and some days had gone by and Roman was still in his coma. It was exhausting going from school, to his house, to my house and everything in between. I still made an effort to see him though and every time I wished he’d be awake by the time I’d get there but he never was. My parents found out that he was my boyfriend thanks to my brother Liam and they both had a stream of never ending questions the last time I talked to them on the phone. Apparently my aunt has been getting better but to be honest it sounded like front from my parents. I don’t think my Aunt Melissa is going to be alive much longer. Weirdly, I'm not sad about that fact.

After school Liam drops me off at Roman’s house.

“So still nothing?” He asks me.

“No, nothing.” I say feeling a chunk of hope diminishing.

“Damn… well you need to pick you up or what?”

I told him I would call him and let him know. I knock the door and a butler opens the door for me.

“Hello, Ms. Quinn.” He bows. The house keepers, cooks, and butlers all knew me by now. “Is there anything I can get you, today?”

“No but thank you Conway.”

He nods his head and I start to make my way to Roman. I hear voices in one of the rooms near the stairs. It was Olivia’s office. I hear Olivia and a male voice that was vaguely familiar. The door swings open. It was Norman.

“Oh… hello Raquel.” He straightens his tie.

Olivia pops up behind him smothing out the front of her white dress.

“Raquel, strange to see you here today.”

“I’ve been here every day?” I say.

“Oh that’s right isn’t it?” She was obviously being a bitch.

“Well I think I better go.” Norman says breaking the unnecessary tension.

We all part ways. I get to Shelley’s room and draw the curtains open. The light washes over Roman. Someone had delivered flowers and they were set at the foot of his bed. I take his blanket and shake it out and lay back over him. I comb his hair back. Lastly, I take some of my chap stick and apply it to his lips dry lips. I don’t know why Olivia insisted that Roman be hospitalized at home when he could have gotten proper care at the institute. I guess that’s where Roman gets his stubbornness. I sit down and start telling him about my day.

“You know Peter and Letha are cute together. You should see how he takes care of her. When you wake up don’t be mean to them, okay. I think I forgot to tell you but Jenny Fredrick’s came to visit Shelley for a while. Everyone is doing their best to make sure she occupies herself. You’re all she talks about though.” I talk about a whole cluster of things. I told him stories and memories that I had. I even made some shit up to entertain myself mostly. I sort of gets boring having a one-sided conversation I couldn’t help myself.

I get sleepy so I rest my head on his arm. I grab his hand and felt an electric charge pass through us and I jump back.

“Roman?!?” I stand up. “Roman…what the fuck?” I touch his face.

I look down at his hand and I slow reach for it again. I held it and the charge goes through me again and this time I hold on. My vision goes in and out and my heart is pumping hard. I feel like I’m getting sucked down to another place even though I know I’m standing still. Everything around me fades to black.

I am no longer in Shelley’s room. I close my eyes tight and open them expecting I’d be back but in still here in this abyss. Its pitch black and I walk around with my arm stretched in front of me trying to feel for anything.

“Where am I?” My voices echoes around me.

I feel a wall and walk down blindly to where ever with my hand trailing along it. I see a light at the end of what I know think is a tunnel. Its bluish haze coming in like a skylight. A way out, thought.

“Hello? Hellooooooo?” I say and make my way towards it.

Everything echoes, my voice and even my footsteps. The light disappears and then I see a pair of legs swing down.

“Raquel?” Roman hopped down from the hole and the blue light illuminates him like a spotlight.

“Roman?!”

“It’s me.” He motions me to come towards him.

I basically run towards him and slam into his body when I hug him. I back up and notice his shirt had the all Seeing Eye pyramid encircled in a bloody ouroboros snake. I touch the blood.

“It’s not mine.” He assures me. “How’d you get here?”

“I was holding your hand and then I’m here. How- What is this place?” I ask.

“I don’t know it’s a cluster fuck. But I’m figuring things out.”

“Is that why you won’t wake up?”

“It’s not time yet.” He says cryptically. 

“What do you mean? I’m – I’m lonely without you.”

He touches my face and kisses me. Behind him a full moon approaching us from the other end of the tunnel.

“Oh shit.” Roman says. “You have to go.” He starts to push me away.

“No. Roman I need you.” I say holding on to his shirt.

“Raquel trust me. You have to go.” The moon was getting closer. “GO back. You don’t belong here.” He takes my hands off him and I feel the pull start to take me. “Tell Peter… things are a clearer now.”

“Roman!” I say and the blackness consumes me again and fades into a stark white.

I'm blinded by the brightness of it and shut my eyes tight again. I am back in Shelley’s room. I snatch my hand out of Roman’s and fell back on my bottom. I was on the verge of a panic attack when I just started sobbing. I started to crawl towards the hospital bed and stood up. I laid half my body on him and shook him.

“Roman fucking wake up!” Tears drop down on him. “Roman…” I whimper.

I lean down and cry into his chest, clutching onto his pygama shirt. What does all this shit mean? Why am I in the middle of all of it? Who am I? Why do I let this boy do this to me? These thoughts flood my mind. I hear footsteps stop at the door.

“What’s wrong?” It was Peter. His face was beat up. “Is he—“ His eyes widened.

“No he still breathing, he’s alive.” I blink back the last of my tears. “What happened to your face?” I wipe away the tears.

“I got jumped by some assholes at school but never mind that why are you crying?”

“This might sound crazy but I was in Roman’s head or something.” I sniffle.

“You’re right that does sound crazy…” He puts a hand on his mouth and slides it off. “So what happened?”

I sat on the chair and explained everything that had happened.

“And then he said ‘tell Peter things are much clearer now’.”

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” He sighs. “C’mon let go have a smoke outside.”

We get to the backyard garden and I take a deep breath the evening air. We take a seat on a small hill. I picked at the blades of grass next to me and Peter hands me a cigarette.

“Why do you think you keep having these things happen to you?” He leans over and lights my cig. I shrug.

“I have no clue. I wish it would stop.” I take a drag.

“You know that’s not normal?”

“Yeah and turning into a wolf is?” We both laugh.

“Sheeit. What are you?”

“What do you mean?” I ash my cigarette.

“There’s something I can’t pin point it but you’re something else.” He scratches his neck scruff.

“I don’t know. I get these feelings you know. Ever since I was a kid.” I take a deep drag. “You know when you think of something and then it happens that would happen a lot but that’s nothing special.”

“Destiny thinks you have some power she feels these vibes off of you. I can feel them too sometimes.” He looks at me in the eyes. “Like when we shared that vision. We shared it because I touched you. You did that, it was like this charge.” He traces a finger from his hand, along his inner arm and to his chest.

“I’ve only done that with you though. And I guess now Roman… but it doesn’t happen all the time?” I turn my palms up. 

“Maybe it’s a gift you have to hone in?” Peter flicks his cigarette away.

“A gift?” I scoff. “I really don’t think it’s anything.” I take the last drag of my cigarette before I toss mine away.

“Us gypsies now things, you know.” He raises a brow at me.

I roll my eyes at him. I look down the hill and see an old brown Bronco parked on the road. It drove off quickly as soon as I noticed it. I squinted and I really couldn’t tell but it looked like Dr. Chasseur…


	19. Files

“Did you see that?” I ask Peter.

He turns to the direction of the road that I had been intently staring at.

“No? What was it?” He turns back to me.

“Never mind I don't think it was anything.” I just dismiss it, I wasn't even really sure if it was even her anyways.

Peter stands up and stretches his arm out to help me up. I dust my pants off.

“Are you going to stay here or do you want me to give you a ride home?” Peter asks.

“No, I think I'll stay here tonight.” I say as we start walking back into the house.

“You sure? You don’t want to get away for a while?” I shake my head no. “So how's Olivia treating you?”

“I suppose she's tolerable and tolerant of me at least, why do you ask?” 

“You know Roman with his stories about Olivia, even my mom has something to say about her. She's not the nicest lady by any means and definitely not the most hospitable. She did give me and Letha a ride home today, not really her character. I was just curious.” He shrugs.

“To be honest, I hardly see her. Every now and then I'll bump into her leaving Shelly’s room or she’ll answer the door. Today actually, I saw her and Norman they looked like I caught them doing something that they shouldn't have been doing?” We walk through the house.

“Doing something like what?” Peter raises a brow at me.

“I don't know, I don't want to assume but it looked like they just got done fucking. But that's none of my business.” I didn’t want to make it my business either.

“Sheeit. Well let's keep that to ourselves these Godfrey’s are something else. I think I'm going to head out.” Peter straightens up his jacket.

“Do you want to see Roman before you go?” I ask even though I knew he was going to say no.

“You know I’m not good at these kind of things. I know Roman feels that I'm around and that's all that matters. I hope.”

I walk Peter out and when I open the door he looks up to the sky. The stars were twinkling and we both gaze at them. He says something in Romani. 

“The full moon’s coming in a couple days. Are you ready?” I nod. “This is it you know. We have to kill it.” He’s says bye.

I spend another night in the Godfrey house. 

The next day after school Peter drops me off at home to my house and I check on things. I was supposed to ride with Liam but I guess he decided to skip school and didn’t bother to tell me. Before I enter my room I hear a girl’s voice and a giggle and I knew exactly who it was. I knock my brother’s door and I hear a commotion, so I open it. Before she could hide in the closet I make eye contact with Alexa Sworn, in my house again.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I shift my eyes to Liam. “What the fuck did I tell you?”

“Raquel, what the fuck?” Liam says stopping me before I charged at her.

I push Liam off of me and I grab Alexa’s arm and drag her out of the closet. She looked terrified. She starts apologizing profusely, trying to save her ass.

“You don’t need to be here Alexa.” I sit her down on my brother’s bed.

“Raquel you’re acting fucking crazy. Just let her leave!” Liam pleas.

“Are you stupid Liam? Her dads the fucking Sheriff! You’re a drug dealer and you’re fucking a cop’s daughter!?” I yell at him. “With the shit that’s happened you don’t need the cops on your ass right now.”

“My dad doesn’t know anything!” Alexa cuts in.

“You think I give a fuck if he knows or not? I don’t want you here!” Alexa bows her head down as I yell at her. Liam tells me to chill but I ignore him.

“And what the fuck is wrong with your friend Christina? Why was she saying bullshit about my friends?” I ask Alexa.

“I don’t know?!” She says of the verge of tears. “I don’t get why she says that kind of stuff, okay? I wish she’d be normal again she’s just sick!” Alexa puts her head in her hands. I kind of feel bad for bring it up. 

“Fuck. Okay, Alexa you can’t be here and you can’t see my brother.” Liam tries to interrupt me but I speak over him. “Do you get why you can’t be here and all of that?” Alexa looks up at me and nods her head yes. “I don’t want to be a bitch to you but this is like the worst time.”

“Raquel, can you stop!?” Liam finally says. 

I take a deep breath. 

“You need to get her out of here soon. Make sure no one sees her either.” I instruct my brother. 

I turn to leave and Alexa’s voice stops me in my tracks.

“Is he okay?” She asks. “Roman?”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business.” I say.

I leave and go to my room and lay down in my bed. I hear Liam show Alexa out. His footsteps make their way to my room and my door opens.

“Raquel, are you fucking serious?” Liam stands at my door.

“What?!” I say annoyed.

“Why are you acting like this?” He walks to the foot of my bed and crosses his arms.

“Like what?” I stubbornly say.

“Raquel cut the bullshit. You’ve been different… ever since you’ve been with Roman…” He states. I sit up in my bed.

“Do not blame Roman!” I say defensively. “Listen Liam I can’t tell you what’s happening because you wouldn’t believe me so without saying it there are things going on that you won’t understand. This shit is bigger than you and me. I’m trying to help stop it but it’s not something that you can just wish way.”

“Are you listening to yourself? Does this have to do with the murders, why are you so invested in that shit?” Liam runs his hands through his short hair.

“Liam! Fucking trust me, okay?! I wouldn’t care if you talked to Alexa but the shit that’s going on now and the fact that you fucking sell drugs it’s just not a good idea! I’m begging you to listen to me this once!” 

Liam sighs and stares off and thinks. 

“Okay, okay…” He throws his hands up in surrender. “If you’re in trouble Raquel don’t leave me in the dark. I know we fight like brothers and sisters but you’re the only sister I got. I can help you.” 

“Liam don’t worry, okay? Just, don’t worry…” I assure him. Hopefully I made him believe that I wasn’t any real trouble.

I know Liam would stick his neck out for me if I needed it. I would do the same for him. After all he is my only brother but this isn’t his problem and I’m not even going to make it his problem especially if I can help it. 

I picked up the house and did some laundry. I planned to visit Roman as I always have in almost two weeks but I ended up falling asleep. It was supposed to be only a nap but I should have known myself better, I over slept. I woke up disoriented and it was 3 am. I get up to stretch. I walk over to my window that overlooks the backyard the moon highlights over everything and then there’s the dark forest. I look up at the moon, one more day until the actual full moon. In the forest’s edge I see movement but all I saw was a streak of white fade away. I hear my phone buzzing my mind immediately went to Roman. I walk to my nightstand and unplug my phone. It was my mom calling.

“Hello, Raquel?” She says. “Hi, honey I’m afraid I have bad news…” She chokes up a bit.

“Aunt Melissa?” I already knew what she was going to say but I didn’t want to say it.

“Yes, she’s passed away.” I could hear my dad reassuring her in the background.

“I- I’m sorry mom…” I felt numb even more numb than I have been feeling.

My mom asks me to relay the message to my brother. My parents apologize for being away so long and I tell them to not worry. They say after the funeral it’ll be another week or so for them to come back. They had to figure out what to do with my aunt’s belongings. We say goodbye. I sat there thinking why I couldn’t feel anything. I loved my aunt, she was a modern day hippie. She always told me to go with my gut feeling and try everything at least once. I started to cry. Not because she’s dead but because I couldn’t feel. I could even make myself react accordingly. I felt so empty. I lay down and cry myself to sleep.

Liam and I get to school late. Before we left I tell him about Aunt Melissa and he didn’t have words he just nodded his head and went back to his room to be alone. The school day was pretty bleak I didn’t talk to anyone and I fell asleep through 2 classes. At lunch I sat with Natalie, Viv was either out sick or with her new college boyfriend Josh. I picked at my food but I really didn’t eat.

“You look like shit Raquel.” Natalie says while still chewing her pizza.

I shrug.

“You have like black circles under your eyes. You stay up all night?”

“Something like that.” I stab at the over cooked spaghetti. 

“You know I care for you. I’m sorry about Roman but damn girl. You have to think about yourself a little at least.” She asks if I’m going to drink my milk, I pass it to her. 

“A lot easier said than done.” I sigh.

Natalie starts talking to me about some boy and I hardly listened and I know she could tell but she didn’t care.

After school I go to my locker and Peter meets me. 

“Hey scout!” He says cheerfully. He notices I don’t take well to his attitude. “Whoa okay.” He poke at the dark circles under my eyes and I lean away. “I don’t get much sleep either.”

“My aunt died last night.” I state. He pauses.

“I’m sorry. Were you close?” I nod. He gives me a hug. “Are you busy today? I have some business to take care of. If Letha asks we’re at the public library and what we’re doing is so boring she wouldn’t have want to come, okay?” 

“What is it?” We start to walk out to the parking lot.

“Chasseur went to Destiny and I need to talk to her.” He opens the passenger door for me.

“Chasseur? Doesn’t she think you’re the killer? Why would you need to talk to her?”

“For Letha…” He pulls his pack out from his jacket and gets a cigarette out for me and him. “Make sure that she’s safe.” 

“And she’s going to help protect her?” I was skeptical.

“It’s worth a shot.”

We drive over to some seedy run down hotel. I wait in the car. I sat there for a while. I look around and see the brown Bronco. My curiosity got the best of me. I get sneak over I check every door to see if one would open and finally the passenger door was the winner. On the passenger seat was a really nice camera, paparazzi status one. I open the glove compartment and a gun sat in there loaded with the safety off. I turn on the camera and look through the photos. The most recent ones appeared and it was Peter and I sitting outside on the hill. I knew it, I knew I saw her. In the center console were a few manila folders. I set the camera down and I open the first one and see several photos of Peter. Some photos were taken at his home and some were at various places in town. On the back of one of the photos were notes written in red.

• Peter Rumancek; 17  
• Romani/gypsy   
• Linda; Mother   
• Destiny; Cousin  
• Vince; Uncle  
• Letha Godfrey; Girlfriend  
• WEREWOLF

Werewolf was underlined several times. I pick up the second folder and there were photo’s Roman. A lot of them he was either smoking outside somewhere or driving in his Jaguar. On the back of one photo his notes written in the same red sharpie were:

• Roman Godfrey; 17  
• Sole inheritor of Godfrey fortune; 18  
• Oliva; Mother; Upir  
• J.R Godfrey; Father; Suicide  
• Shelley; Sister; Heavily deformed  
• Raquel Quinn; Girlfriend  
• UPIR

Upir had been underlined several times as well. 

“Upir?” I say out loud. 

I pick the folder right under and it was a file on me. I flip through it frantically, freaked out. There was several of me leaving school and one with me and Roman making out in his damn car. 

“This crazy bitch!” I whisper.

I read the notes she had written about me.

• Raquel Rey Quinn; 17  
• Origins unknown  
• Parents; absent for 1 month  
• Liam Ray Quinn; bother/drug dealer  
• Natalie Sinclair and Vivienne Cole; friends (no involvement)  
• Roman Godfrey; Boyfriend  
• MEDIUM??? Otherwise unknown

She circled medium with her red sharpie. There were at least 5 more files but Peter scared the shit out of me and I dropped everything.

“Raquel! What the fuck are you doing?” He says sternly. “C’mon!” 

I run into his station wagon and we drive off quickly. 

“That was incredibly stupid, I hope you know that. Anyways what did you see?” 

“Files on us. She’s keeping tabs and shit!” 

“Like what?”

“Like pictures and shit and she has notes on us. She knows you’re a werewolf, Peter.” His nostrils flare. “She said I was a medium but then put like a load of question marks to it like what the fuck does that mean? And Roman did you know he’s going to inherit the Godfrey fortune when he’s 18?! And she wrote Upir in his file? Do you know what that is?” I’m nearly off my seat telling him all of this. 

He pulls over quickly. He breaks and I throw my hands out before I hit the dashboard, I forgot to put my seat belt on.

“Are you sure it said Upir?” He asks and I nod my head. “Fuck…” He pulls another cigarette out for himself.

“Do you know what that is?”

“Yeah…” He takes a drag from his cigarette and starts shaking his head.

“Peter you have to tell me. Chasseur’s notes even said Olivia is Upir…” Peter turns to look at me and sighs.

“Upir is- it’s kind of like a vampire. Not like Dracula type shit though.” He takes another deep drag of his cigarette. My mind was racing.

“So you’re telling me Roman is some type of vampire?! My boyfriend Roman?” I take the cigarette from Peter’s hand and start smoking it.

“Yes but he’s not full Upir yet…” He take out another cigarette since I stole his.

“D- does Roman know he’s a – “ Peter cuts me off.

“Upir. No. He can’t know that about himself. At least not right now especially with what’s been going on. It’ll only distract him.” I nod along. “And you can’t tell him Raquel please promise me that.” 

“Okay, I promise.” I take one last puff and toss the cigarette out.

“I’m sorry this world isn’t what you’ve thought it was but I think you’ve always known deep down.” 

Peter and I hash out the plan for tomorrow’s full moon and now we watch our clocks tick down the hours.


	20. Wake

I visit Roman that evening. I tell him about Chasseur and the things that I found in her Bronco. Even though he was deep in his coma and most likely would never remember anything I tell him I resisted the urge to tell him I that I knew what he was. I feel like I should have been more alarmed to now know that Roman was an upir but finding out that Peter was a werewolf was so upsetting and such a mind fuck that I couldn’t even be surprised. It just kind of made sense. 

I spend the night sitting next to him. I wake up feeling anxious. The full moon was tonight.

After school I take Liam and I’s Accord for the day. I pull up to the Godfrey house drive way and see Peter’s Station Wagon and Letha’s Toyota Prius was there as well. They must have skipped school and met here. I grab my purse and Conway opens the door. As usual he offers me any of his services and as always I kindly decline. I make my way upstairs and I stop before entering Shelley’s room because I could here Peter and Letha talking. I eaves drop. I catch the middle of their conversation. 

Letha asks him what he was going to do and he just says that’s he going to kill the vargulf. Plain and simple. I was a little surprised that he was so forward with her since for the most part we have all kept her in the dark to a certain degree. 

“You know you’re just a person right? It’s what we all are. We’re all just people.” Letha’s voice trembles a bit. 

“Letha… under no circumstances do you leave the house!” He raises his voice. “Under no circumstances do you let anyone in!” 

“And then what? The next time I see you is in jail? At your funeral? I will I even see you again after all this?”

Peter just says he doesn’t know.

“I think you both are fucking full of shit! And you drag Raquel into you and Roman’s bullshit! Have you seen her lately she’s falling apart?” She starts to raise her voice. “You think I’m the one that needs protecting? Look at you. Look at Roman. This isn’t some kind of game!”

There was a pause and I hear a loud bang and glass smash. I jump and cover my mouth.

“EITHER DO AS I SAY OR I’LL NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN YOU STUPID LITTLE BITCH!” Peter screams.

I hear Letha walk out and I hide behind the corner. She’s sobbing as she walks right past me. I stay there for a few seconds but I realize any moment I choose to walk in would never be a good time anyways.

Peter stands there facing the door way. I see that the loud crash was from a lamp, now broken beyond repair. He has is hands over his face. When he slides them down I see his eyes are glassy. He blinks his tears back before they ran over his face. 

“You heard that?” He chokes out. I just nod.

I start to walk over to comfort him but I stop in my tracks. I stood there breathless. My eyes were wide. Peter turns on his heel and looks over to the direction I was starring which was Roman. There he was sitting up in his hospital bed and looks around.

“What time is it?” Roman asks. 

“It’s been two weeks…” Peter says.

“Aww fuck me…” He turns to look out the window. “The- the full moon?”

“It’s tonight.” 

“That’s why I had to come back now… and Raquel?” I was still standing there in disbelief.

“She’s right here.” Peter turns to me.

Roman starts to pull off his breathing tubes and random electrical hook ups he had on his body.

“Whoa, whoa. We should probably get you a doctor or something.”

“What for?” He rips out an IV. 

“The fuck should I know I heard comas cause like blank spots or some shit.” 

“So what I check out for a few weeks and now all of sudden I’m a retard? Did my mom tell you what happened?” He looks at Peter and me. 

“Yeah, she told us you OD’d.” Peter says. 

“Yeah, pretty stupid, huh?” Peter raises his eyebrows at him. “I’m sorry.” He turned to me all I could do was nod. “I know I fucked up but it’s time to make things right. We got to kill the vagulf.” 

“I’m sorry to say this and even I feel Raquel would agree but the vagulf is my problem now.” Peter sternly says.

“No.” Roman starts to get to his feet. 

“What do you mean ‘no’? What are you doing stop.” He tries to push Roman back down.

“I’m getting up.” Peter protests. “I’m getting the fuck up!”

Peter throws his hands up in surrender and Roman gets to his feet. He looks at me and I am still fixed where I’ve been.

“Raquel…” Roman motions for me to come to him.

I hastily walk over and embrace him. I knock him off center a bit but he steadies himself. I feel tears roll down my cheeks. I look up at him.

“I’m sorry.” He leans down and kiss me. We can both taste my salty tears. 

“Don’t do this shit ever again.” I say as he runs a hand through my hair. “I missed you.” 

He leans down to kiss me again. 

“We need to go…” Roman looks at Peter. “We’re running out of time.” Roman takes my hand we go to his room. 

I sit on his bed as I watch him get dressed. He walks around a bit lazily. He still trying to get used to using his legs again. 

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“Okay? What does that even mean at this point?” He sort of mumbles. 

“Do remember when I was with you in that tunnel?” Roman stares off and squints his eyes remembering.

“Yeah,” He turns back to me. “What was that?” 

“I don’t know?” I shrugged. “Did you ever hear me talking to you?” 

“Every now and then.” He pulls his pants up. “I know you were here every day…” 

I nod my head. He smirks at me.

“What?” I smile.

“Some of those stories were they made up?” He laughs a little.

“Some, why?” I say a little embarrassed.

“So that’s how you lost your virginity?” He smiles.

“Fuck, you would remember that shit!” I feel my cheeks flush. He laughs.

“I remember a lot of other stuff, too.” He puts a cardigan on over his grey shirt. 

“Like what?”

“Your aunt… I’m sorry.” He walks up to me and hugs me. I hug his waist since he was standing. He looks down at me and holds my face in his hand.

“And… I love you too.” 

“You heard that?” He nods.

I pull at his shirt so that he would lean down and kiss me. It was such a weird feeling for me to feel this sentimental. Roman loved me… Peter knocks at the door.

“We don’t have all day you know!” He yells through the door. 

We all go to the garage to get Roman’s car. It had been in the repair shop until the other day. Peter ended up driving, he didn’t exactly trust Roman driving since he just woke up. I sat on Roman’s lap as we drove to the school.

Peter and I wait out in the car while Roman goes to find Shelley. 

“Gotta let her know I’m okay.” He said before leaving us.

Peter lights a joint and we hot box the car. I take a puff when Roman opens the passenger door startling me. We get situated in the seat again. Sheriff Sworn was on the radio, I turn the volume up. 

“The murders seemed to have occurred around the days of the full moon and that pattern can’t be denied. So Hemlock Grove Police Department is setting another city wide curfew tonight. Minors should be in there home by sun down and anyone else out tonight better have a damn good reason.”

“You heard it here folks! Stay inside and lock your doors!” The radio DJ signs off.

Roman turns the radio off and I pass him the joint. He takes a deep puff. He grabs my cheeks with one hand making my lips pout and he blew the smoke in my mouth. 

“Let’s go.” Roman said and Peter drove off.

Peter drives us to the steel mill. 

“What are we doing here?” This wasn’t part of the plans we talked about the day before.

They didn’t even answer me. Peter and Roman just look at each other like they had this planned all along. 

Peter parked inside the mill. We all get out and finally Peter gives me an answer. 

“I’m going to turn here. Half of Karen King’s body was dropped off here by the vargulf so I’ll be able to pick up a scent.” 

“Will we be able to keep up?” Roman asks lighting his cigarette. 

Peter just shakes his head no. 

“You two should watch your backs though. Anything could happen.” Peter says.

“Do you love her?” Roman leans on the car. The question came from almost nowhere.

I squeeze Roman’s hand, I was worried they’d have another confrontation about Letha. That can’t happen right now.

“Yeah.” Peter says.

They both say ‘sheeit’ and I smile. Boys are so dumb. 

“So you remember anything? When you were out?” Peter points at his head.

“Yeah, I remember Raquel telling me ridiculous things.” He looks down a smirks at me. “And something’s I can’t really remember like there’s something I need to finish but I don’t know I guess I’ll know when I see it.”

We start to kick cans around trying to kill time. Yesterday it seemed like this day came quickly but now it feels like this day would never end. I told Roman and Peter about Alexa Sworn being at my house the other day.

“What is it with you almost fighting freshmen girls?” Roman asks and we laugh.

“Oh yeah, I remember you telling me you broke into Chasseur’s Bronco.” I told Roman when he was still in his coma. “What did those files say about me?”

Peter shoots me a look. ‘He can’t know that about himself’, I remembered Peter telling me. 

“Uh nothing really just that you’re sole beneficiary of the Godfrey estate and like how old you were nothing unusual.” I lie. 

“Being sole beneficiary of a massive fortune is nothing?” He raises a brow at me.

“Get your head out your ass!” I roll my eyes.

Peter laughs.

“All right guys it’s time…” Peter announces. The sun was beaming its last few rays of light. “If anything happens tonight this is one you.” Peter places his hands on Roman’s shoulders. They were having a bro moment. “Take care of him.” Peter looks at me and I give him a single nod. “Don’t go followin’ me!” 

Roman gives him a playful shove and Peter disappears further into the mill. I kick another can as I walk up to Roman and hug the side of him. We both lean up against the Jaguar again. I pull on his pea coat so that he would lean down and kiss me. We made out for a moment but I could tell his mind was elsewhere so I break it off. Roman was jittery and anxious. He kept jiggling the keys in his pocket and biting at his lip. He lets go of me and walk into the direction Peter had went. 

“Roman! We have to wait here!” I say hoping he would stop but he went on.

I had to jog to catch up. I accidentally stepped in a deep puddle and my left foot was soaked. Great. 

“Hold on!” I yell over the sound of the water pouring from where ever.

“Peter?” Roman calls out as a finally caught up to him.

He puts his arm out so that I’d stay right behind him. A big black wolf runs over and stands before us. It was Peter. This was my first time seeing him in his other form. It was beautiful and terrifying all at the same time. He looked friendly yet still menacing. I grip Romans arm. 

“Peter…” I whispered. 

He growled. 

“Did you get the scent?” Roman asks.

Peter just growls again and charges off. I tug at Roman’s arm and we turn to head back to the car when we hear a loud crash and yelp. 

“Peter?!” Roman runs off to the direction of the noise.

“Fuck! Roman!” I run after him.

“STAY BACK!” I hear a woman’s voice yell.

“What is that?” Roman yells.

“Ketamine dart. Do not attempt eye contact or I’ll with shoot you.” 

I finally catch up and see that it was Dr. Chasseur holding a rifle pointed at Roman. Wolf Peter laid on the floor paralyzed shallowly breathing. She points the rifle at me. I was a few paces behind Roman.

“Don’t point that at her!” He says.

“If you move I won’t hesitate to shoot you either.” She says to me.

She puts her gun down and starts to tie Peter’s hind legs with industrial plastic zip ties. 

“It’s not him!” Roman pleas.

“You don’t know that.” She says.

“We were with him the last time.” I say.

“You two are lying.” 

“We- we came here to track the vagulf you can’t take him.” Roman explains.

Chasseur puts a muzzle on Peter’s snout and buckles it to the last notch. 

“If you hurt him you’re dead, you hear me? You’re dead!”

“If you threaten me again would you rather I knock you teeth in or cut a pretty smile on your girlfriends face?” 

Roman starts to pace. 

“Raquel you had so much potential, you’re such a smart girl what are you doing here?” She tsks. 

“Don’t talk to her like that… If there’s another murder it’s going to be your fault!” 

“Listen Roman I know you want to believe Peter is a good person but he’s not a person. This is not your friend. This is an animal.” 

“That’s bullshit!” Roman says.

Chasseur pulls a pistol out of her holster and points it at Roman. She repeats at him to not attempt eye contact.

“Leave.” She commands.

“I’m not afraid of you…” Roman says.

“Roman…” I call for him. Trying to save him from his own stubbornness. 

Chasseur starts to point the pistol at me.

“Okay, okay!” Roman says and she points the gun back to him. “If you hurt him I’ll kill you! Just… don’t hurt him, please.” 

“You two get the hell out of here! GO!” Roman turns and grabs my hand. “God doesn’t want you to be happy, he wants you to be strong.” We hear her say as we walk away.

I practically jog next to Roman as we power walk to the car. Roman kicks the front wheel in frustration.

“FUCK!” He yells. 

“What are we going to do?” I quickly wipe away a tear that had rolled down my face. 

Roman throws his hands up. He looked so sad. He decided we should circle around the mill but by that time it seemed like Chasseur and Peter were gone. I remind him of the city wide curfew so we leave. We get in the car. We rode in silence feeling so defeated. There was nothing we could do. We pull up to his house and we sat in the car like statues. Not knowing how to continue knowing that Peter was being held hostage. Knowing that the vargulf was out there claiming another victim. Roman violently punched the dashboard. I jumped. He pulled his hand away and his knuckles were bloody. 

“God damn it!” He said. 

We get into bed after I bandaged his two middle knuckles. We smoked a few cigarettes and took a few shots. Most of the night we laid in the bed tossing and turning unable to sleep for the first few hours. I could tell Roman’s head space was occupied on Peter. I was just worried all around. At some point I had my head on Roman’s chest and he play with my hair. 

“I love you.” I said.

“I love you, too.” He kisses the top of my forehead.

We drift off to sleep. 

In the morning Roman shakes me and tells me to wake up. He was already dressed for the day. I was a little disoriented since I couldn’t remember exactly when I feel asleep and it felt like I was only asleep for a few hours. 

“Get dressed. Peter is here…”


	21. Time

“Peter…” I groggily say. “Peter! He’s here?!” I sit up in bed. “How?”

“I don’t know my mom calls me and tells me to keep an eye one him.” He bites his lip.

“Your mom? But how—“ He cuts me off.

“I wish I could tell you how, I don’t know either. C’mon get dressed.” He pulls me out of bed.

He walks over to his dresser and starts pulling my clothes out at tossing them at me. I had half my wardrobe here since I’ve spent the night for the past few weeks. I put each article of clothing on as he tossed them. I ended up having to borrow a thick tweed cardigan from Roman since I didn’t have a heavy coat for myself and it was freezing today. 

“Alright let’s go.” Roman says.

“Go? I want to see Peter.” I say and he grabs my arm pulling me along with him.

“He’s fine, let him rest. We have to go check on Linda.” 

We reach the drive way and noticed the Accord was still here. My brother is probably pissed. Roman noticed my reaction.

“We’ll drop it off later.” He said as he opened the passenger door of the Jag for me.

We began to drive our way to the other side of Hemlock Grove to Peter’s trailer. I ask Roman if he had anything to calm my nerves. He gives me a disapproving look and takes an old mint tin out of his pea coat pocket. He takes out a little blue tablet, a valium. He takes one as well. 

“So…” Roman starts. “The vargulf… it got the Sworn girls.” Roman says.

“Aw fuck! Both of them?” Roman nods. “M-my brother! He was seeing Alexa…” 

“Shit.”

“I need to check on him.” I was worried.

“After this well go to your house, okay?” I nod and Roman reaches over to hold my hand.

As we got closer I could feel in the pit of my stomach that something wasn’t right. This Valium wasn’t helping. When we pull up the trailer was spray painted with derogatory words. We quickly walked down the stairs. ‘DIE GYPSY SCUM’ was sprayed along the front of the trailer. The door was busted wide open. Roman looked at me and told me to stay behind him as we walked in. All the furniture had been flipped and smashed. 

“Hello?” Roman says. 

No answer.

“Stay right here.” Roman tells me as he walked towards the bed rooms. “Hello?”

He walked back to the living room where I was. A trap door from the hallway opens. It startles Roman and quickly I grab a broken coffee table leg ready to use it. It was Linda. I set the leg down before anyone noticed I had it.

“Gypsies need a way out!” She climbs up. “Damn…” She looks around at the mess in her house.

“Are you okay?” Roman asks.

“Well I got a heads up. How’s Peter?” She lays a throw blanket on the floor and starts setting various objects into the center of it. 

Roman tells her that he was fine and resting at his house. 

“Oh good. That’s my Peter.” She asks Roman to hand her a chandelier. “You must be Raquel, sorry I we had to meet like this.” 

“Oh it’s no big deal.” I say after she asked me to hand her a sea shelled plate. 

“I saw that you know… the coffee table leg.” She winks at me. Roman looked confused.

“How’d you get a heads up?” Roman asks. 

Linda walks over to a small side table and puts a silver case hidden under it. Roman and I shoot each other a curious look. 

“Destiny, you know she has her ways.” She makes a large hobo sack out of the throw cover. 

“If you want you can follow me to my house and see Peter.” 

“Ah no the Rumancek’s and Godfrey’s are a little too close for comfort. I hope you two aren’t allergic to cats. Peter loves that cat.” Linda takes some fishing poles and leaves.  
I pick up Caspar the cat and Roman and I head to my house. Roman takes the cat out of my hands and told me he’d wait in the living room. When I go up the stairs I hear hip hop music playing loudly. I open the door and a plume of weed smoke hits me in the face. He sitting on his bed take a rip out of a bong. His eyes looked puffy like he had been crying. 

“Liam…” I say as I walk over. 

I grab the bong and set it down on the floor. A fresh batch of tears stream down his face and he buries his head into my chest. He sobs and I just hold him stroking his hair.

“I’m so sorry Liam…” My eyes were brimming with tears of my own. 

“Why?” He cries out. “Why her?” 

After a few minutes he catches his breath and starts to calm down. 

“Everything I love is gone. Tank, Aunt Melissa, Alexa…” He chokes. 

I run my hand through his hair as he sits back up. I wanted to tell him that everything was going to be okay but I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I felt like I was lying if I did.  
“You’re going to need time. It’s going to hurt but you’re going to have to learn to live with it.” He starts to shake his head no. “You have to learn to live with it, Liam.” I cup his face in my hands and look into his eyes. “It takes time.” 

“I just want to be alone.” He sighs.

“I love you little brother… Don’t do anything stupid. Be smart.” I say. 

“Be careful.” He says to me before I leave. “Alexa said that you’re lucky.” 

“What?” 

“Christina told Alexa that, that demon dog almost got you once too.” He sniffles. “Christina said you’re lucky.” 

“Okay? I’ll see you later.” I was confused. 

On the ride back to Roman’s house he asks me about Liam.

“Not so good.” I say as I pet Caspar. 

I get the bad feeling again in the pit of my stomach. It was radiating from inside me. I look at myself in the review mirror and then everything fades to black. It was a vision. A crucifix hoovers in a glass cage and it shatters, a gun pointed in my face, Shelley’s large eye blinks and her skin glows blue, Letha screaming and clutching her pregnant belly. All the images faded into one another.

“Raquel!” I hear a voice yell in the distance. “Raquel!” It got closer.

I opened my eyes and I was slouched in the chair. I passed out. Roman was shaking me with one hand and still managing to drive.

“What the fuck? Are you okay?” He kept looking at me and the road, back and forth.

“Get to the fucking house.” I sit up.

The car accelerates to a dangerously high speed. We arrive in no time. A cop car was blocking the front steps to the door.

We enter quietly and I set Caspar down he meows and scurries away. We see Shelley in the corridor she looked frightened. Her skin was glowing blue… Roman walks up to her and runs his finger a longer her cheek.

“It’s okay.” He says to her.

He turns to the cops with a stern and angered look set on his face. I take Shelley’s bandaged hand. I noticed Peter was hand cuffed and Letha was at his side. 

“Oh what the fuck?” The skinnier cop says. “Stay back.” He points his gun at Roman.

Roman just walks up to him confidently and unafraid.

“You have a gun pointed at the back of your head! Do not, I repeat, do not turn around.” The fat cop says.

I feel my heart beat against my chest. Roman and Peter exchange a look. I could only see Peter but I knew exactly what he was telling Roman. Roman turns on his heels and he had a sly smile on his face. 

“Put the gun in your mouth.” He said gazing into the fat cops eyes.

The fat cop does as he says and whimpers. Roman demands the other cop to uncuff Peter but he doesn’t oblige. He makes eye contact with the fat cop again.

“If he’s still hand cuffed by the time I count to three pull the trigger. One…” Roman turns back to the skinny cop. “TWO!” 

“Okay, okay!” The skinny cop uncuffs Peter.

Immediately Peter crawls over and put his body over Letha to protect her. I hear Shelley silently grunt and I give her hand a squeeze. The cop walks up to Roman with his gun pointed at him. 

“Come here.” Roman leans in so that he’s locked eyes with the skinny cop. “Get in your car and take the 79 to West Virginia state line. When you get there he can take the gun out of his mouth and you… punch yourself in the face, hard enough to break your nose.” The cops slowly start walking away. “Bye now!” He gives them a little wave.

“Roman what did you do to them?” Letha asks as Roman wiped away his nose bleed. 

“I just suggested they relocate. You’re not safe here.” He says to Peter.

“No shit.” Peter says. 

I tell Shelley to go to her room and relax. She shuffles away. I walk up to Roman and grab his hand. We all sat in the living room and listen to Letha make arrangements to relocate Peter with her dad, Norman. We take my Accord to the old chapel on Godfrey Acres. When we arrived Dr. Godfrey assumed his fatherly role and tells Letha he should have told her Roman was awake. He then tells Peter he was sorry what had happened to his home. 

“Peter you can stay here until this witch hunt has died down.” Norman says. 

Roman, Norman and I walk outside and leave Letha and Peter. Roman gives me a nod telling me to stay on the chapel steps. I lean on the rail while he and Norman speak semi-privately. I say semi-private because I could still easily hear them.

“You do not get to hold back especially when my daughters involved!” Norman says.

“Sometimes a wolf goes crazy and it doesn’t eat with it kills.” Roman states.

“Wolf like werewolf?” He says in disbelief. “Are you fucking listening to this shit?!” Norman turns to me with his arms out.

I awkwardly shift my eyes away from them. I let them finish their conversation. 

“Raquel.” Roman calls for me and I walked down the steps. “Let’s go to the clinic and get some blankets and stuff for Peter.”

“Is your uncle going to have us all committed?” I say jokingly.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Romans laughs and gives me a smack on my butt.

We enter through an exit only door and weirdly the alarm didn’t go off. 

“I’ll go find something from the kitchen while you get some sheets.” I tell Roman. 

The nurse didn’t pay any mind as I walked passed them. When I reach the kitchen I grabbed fruits and bottled water. I start to make my way back to Roman. I climbed the stairs to the second floor. There was a large claw mark on the wall. Exactly the same as the claw mark I saw on the bathroom door at the steel mill. What the fuck, I thought. 

“Got ‘em.” Roman holds the bedding up when he saw me.

“Christina…” 

She stood there in the center of the hallway. Roman turns around.

“Sorry, we didn’t know you were here.” Roman signals me to start walking away. “Hello?” He snaps his fingers a few times. 

“She’s not safe.” 

“Who?” Roman looks at me.

“She and the baby aren’t safe…” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” 

A nurse passes me.

“Hey can you get her some meds or something.” I say but she keeps walking.

“Hey!” Roman says at the same nurse but she ignored us. “Bitch.” 

We turn around and Christina was gone.

“What the fuck?” I look at Roman.

“C’mon let’s go.” He takes my hand.

I have to hold on to my loot with one arm cross against my chest. We drop the goods we scavenge for Peter at the chapel before we go. 

“Be good.” I tell Peter.  
…   
Roman follows me home as a drop the Accord off at my house. I left the car keys under the passenger floor mat. I looked up at my brother’s room and I could hear music blasting from his room outside. Liam looks out his window and sees me and I wave to him. I motion him to turn the music down. I heard the volume go down as I get into Roman’s car. 

“What a long fucking day.” I say as we drive to Roman’s house.

“Hopefully it’ll all be over soon.” He takes my hand and kisses the top of it.

“Yeah… hopefully.” I rest into my seat.

“Earlier, when you passed out… it happened again didn’t it?” He turns to me.

“Watch the road.” He looks out the windshield again. “But yeah it happened again…” 

“What triggers it… the visions?” 

“I-I don’t know… it used to happen when I was a little kid too. It would really freak my parents out and Liam. I would tell them things they didn’t like so they sent me to some specialist outside of Hemlock Grove County.” 

“A specialist? There’s a specialist for that kind of stuff?” Roman asks.

“Well not like textbook specialist.” I roll my eyes. “He was a friend of my Aunt Melissa’s…” Roman glances at me. “I can’t really remember what he did but they stopped.” 

“Until now?” 

“Until I met you and Peter…” 

We pulled up to the house. 

“I’m going to check on Shelley.” Roman says as he opens the front door. 

“Okay I’m going to go take a shower.” He nods and continues on to Shelley’s room.

I stood there and watch the water swirl around the drain. I wish escaping was that easy. Problems just wash away and suddenly everything is okay again. I hear the shower door slide open behind me. I turn around and it was Roman, of course. He leaned down and we kissed urgently wanting more than we could give. I could feel him getting hard as it was pressed against my belly. I trail kisses down his neck and torso. I get to my knees and I look at Roman as I take him into my mouth. He closes his eyes and lets out a small moan. Roman threads his fingers in my wet hair and bites his lip. I liked the way he reacted to how my tongue swirled around him. He would flex his abs every time I hit a sweet spot. He puts his hand under my chin and nudges me to stand up. He kisses me again and turns me around. I lean forward and he trusts into me. Roman reaches his arm around and rubs my clit. I throw my head back and moan. He grabs my throat with the other hand and my back arches. I play with my own boobs while he pounds harder into me. Our moans echo around us. 

“Fuck I missed this…” Roman moan into my ear.

He plants small kisses on my shoulders. He tightens his grip around my neck and it turned me on even more. I tell Roman that I was going to come so he thrust faster. I scream his name and right after he climaxes. I turn back around and kiss him. 

We get into bed. The curtains were drawn in Roman’s room and it looked out into the wooded area in the back yard. The moon was shining in. In the woods I see the same streak of white fade away and this time I noticed that it was a tail…


	22. Free

“What is it?” Roman puts his arm around me.

“You didn’t see that?” I ask.

He pouts his bottom lip and shakes his head no.

“Whatever never mind.” I shrug.

In the morning Roman and I make our way to the old chapel. I had Caspar in my arms. I figured Peter could use some company. We were listening to the radio and nodding our head along to some hip hop song when the broadcast was interrupted.

“This is emergency broadcast from the Hemlock Grove Police Department. Early this morning another body was found decapitated outside Hemlock Square. Body has yet to be identified. City wide curfew is still in effect starting sun down.” The broadcast repeated.

Roman turned off the radio and immediately dialed Letha. He was tapping the back of the phone with one finger anxiously until Letha answered.

“Just making sure you were, okay.” Roman says.

“Yeah, why?” I could hear her without the speaker on.

Roman informed her that there was another murder and I could hear that Letha was understandably upset. He told her to stay inside and call if she needed anything and ended the call.

We get to the old chapel. Peter was asleep in an empty tub so I plopped Caspar into his lap. Peter wakes.

“Ah just what daddy wanted.” Peter says as her scratches behind Caspar’s ear.

“There was another murder.” Roman informs Peter.

“Who?” Peter gets out of the tub.

“They don’t know yet… no head.”

“It wasn’t Letha. I checked.” Roman says before Peter could jump to the thought.

“The vargulf changed on the wrong moon again how is it able to do that?” I say as I take a seat on the edge of the tub.

“Well it’s not impossible but it’s risky. Destiny knows more about it that I do.” Peter starts to put his boots on. “One of you need to be with Letha by sundown tonight, I mean it.”

“Where are you going?” Roman asks.

“Going to see Destiny she know more about the ‘protocols’ that I do.” Peter finishes tying off his shoe.

“Protocols? If you go out in public you’ll be shot!” Roman says to Peter as he walks to the chapel door.

“Well I’m a lucky guy.” Peter turns to us and shrugs.

“Just call her. Call Destiny.” I say.

“This isn’t a pizza delivery.” Peter pauses and scratches his head. “Fine you two go.”

Roman takes my hand and as we leave Peter tells us not to forget about Letha. We assure him we never did.

Destiny answers the door in short shorts and a tee shirt. Linda stands up when we enter.

“How’s my baby?” Linda asks.

“He’s safe where he is.” Roman says.

Destiny chimed in that he wasn’t but that the chapel would do for now. She pours us both a glass of red wine. I take a hearty gulp.

“So what does Peter need.” Destiny asks.

“The vagulf. Peter says you’re some kind of expert.” Roman takes a sip of his wine. “How is this happening?”

“Okay let me break this down. The laws of magic works because you obey them.”

“And the vagulf breaks them? How can we fight that?”

“Roman you don’t. It’s time for you to admit that this isn’t your fight.” Destiny made herself clear.

“But people are still dying…” I say.

“That has nothing to do with it.”

Roman and I take a big gulp of the wine. I was almost out.

“Okay, so how does Peter fight it?” Roman asks.

“The way wolves usually do.”

“So Peter can turn too, I mean, without the full moon?” I ask.

“Not for free… nothing is for free…” She stares off and looks back to us.

“So what’s the price?” Linda asks.

Destiny says she didn’t know.

“Only Peter can know. I can give his what he needs but from there it’s all him.” Destiny says. “This is nothing a thousand miles of interstate could have solved.” Destiny says to Linda.

“Except when it doesn’t. We’ve talked about this!” Linda says as Destiny goes around her apartment gather supplies.

I take the last sip of my wine wishing I had more. Destiny gives Roman a large brown paper bag with the supplies.

“Tell Peter I love him.” She says to us.

Roman was ahead of me an already out the door. Destiny gives my hand a squeeze and a charge shoots through us. I let go before I started seeing images again. She still caught a vision though.

“You know what he is…” She says in shock.

I bite my lip and just nod my head.

“But what are you?” She narrows her eyes and tilts her head.

“Uh I got to go… It was nice seeing out again Linda.” I wave at her.

I get in the car feeling a little freaked out.

“What took you so long lady?” Roman starts the car.

I told him it was nothing.

“Hey can you drop me off at my house? I need to check on Liam.”

I could tell Roman didn’t want me out of his sight especially with what has been happening. 

“I’ll meet you back at the chapel, okay? I’ll call you for anything.”

He takes a deep breath and then takes a cigarette out for himself.

“Raquel, at least be with me before sun down if you can help it and yes fucking call me.”

Soon he pulls up to my house and kisses my longingly before I get out of the car. It was the kind of kiss you give someone when you think you’ll never see them again.

I pick up socks and various stuff off the living room floor. Normally, I would be annoyed but this once Liam gets a freebee. I go to my brother’s room and enter without knocking he was sitting crisscross-applesauce on his bedroom floor reading notes. I could tell from the pink gel pen writing that they were notes from Alexa.

“Liam…” He turns to me. “How are you?”

Liam just shrugs. I walk over and sit next to him.

“You know I miss you. I know I’ve been gone but— “ He cuts in.

“I know, you don’t have to explain yourself… You know I really don’t mind Roman. I just worry about you because I know the kind of guy Roman is… but I see how you treats you and how he looks at you when you’re not even looking. It’s okay, Raquel.” Liam bites his lip and folds the note back into its intricate origami shape. “What you told me the other day… you were right but it still hurts, you know.” He bows his head.

“Liam I wish I had all the right things to say but I don’t. I’m always here for you though. If there is anything… anything I’ll help you.”

“I know.” He gives me a little endearing smirk. “When we were little kids you told me this would happen… you told me a lot of other crazy shit too.”

“What?” I tilt my head to the side.

“Well you didn’t tell me, tell me, you said ‘the first love stall perish but you will rise and be better for it’. You cupped my face like this.” He grabbed my face. “You used to scare me with some of the things you would say. I remember I would go crying to mom.”

‘I really don’t remember a lot of that…” I gave a breathy scoff.

“Yeah, when you left for those few weeks it stopped. When I asked you about things you used to say you would just stare at me blankly and looked confused.” He looked off into space. “I’m going to miss her. She’s not as dumb as she makes herself seem. She was a cool girl…” Liam smiles and a tear rolls down his face. “I really did lover her…”

He leans down and rests his head in my lap. I stroke his hair and I let him cry. I couldn’t give him the answers he needed but at least I was there when he needed someone. I suggest that he take a shower and let himself rest. He nods a long and wipes at his face and nose.

I go back to my room and lay down in my bed. I body eases into the mattress and that’s when I realize I was exhausted with everything… For once I was alone in my own bed. My eyes begin to feel heavy. I follow the weird little floaties in my eyes and before I drift off my phone rings.

“Hello…” I answer groggily.

“Raquel.” It was Roman on the other end. “I was wondering if you could spend the evening with Letha.”

“Uh, yeah of course.” I sit up in my bed.

“Okay, well I’m already on my way to your house.”

I knock on Liam’s bathroom door and tell him I was leaving and he yells back that he’d see me later. I get into Roman’s car and he gives me a peck on the lips.

“So you and Peter do that ritual or whatever it was?” I ask.

“Yeah…” He glances at me. “Liam okay?”

I could tell Roman was trying to change the subject.

“So, what happened? What is the price?” I say.

“He said… the price is his human face…” Roman looked at my shocked face. “And… Caspar… h-he had to sacrifice him.” He puts his hand on my thigh.

“Aww fuck… Caspar?” I run my hands through my hair.

“Yeah I’m sorry… I was just as upset as you were.”

Something was pressed against my seat and poking me in the back. I turn and see a large black case.

“What the hell is this?” I knock on the hard case.

“A gift from my mother.”

I side eye him and give him a ‘what the fuck’ look. He lights a cigarette. I turn my body around awkwardly and unlatch the metal buckles. I peek in and see an intricate double sided axe.

“Jesus Christ!” I say. Roman just blows out smoke. “What kind of mother gifts her 17 year old son a fuckin axe?”

Roman laughs.

“Well we have her blessing for what it’s worth.” Roman tosses his cigarette.

We pull up to Letha’s home.

“She knows you’re coming.” He traces my jawline with his finger.

“Are you going to be okay?” I grab his hand before he pulled it back from my face.

“Okay as I’ll ever be…” He says.

I take his hand and put it on my boob.

“I want you…” I whisper.

We begin to make out heavily in his car. I crawl over to his seat so that I was straddled to his lap. He grabs my long hair and jerks it back like he’s done many times before. He kisses my neck and sucks on my collar bone. I slide my hand in between us and massage his bulge through his pants. Before we went too far Roman pushes me off.

“Raquel… we have work to do…” He gives me a stern look that I could tell was an act.

I nod as I catch my breath in the passenger seat. Before we say our goodbyes Roman gives me obvious rules, don’t answer the door if you don’t know who it is, don’t go outside during sun down, and call if I need anything. I nod along.

Letha answered the door cheerfully.

“Hey, Raquel!” She sings it to me.

She urges me to take a seat. She sits right on the other white plush couch right in front of me.

“Sorry you have been commissioned to babysitting duty.” She says. “I know Peter is worried I’m sad that he can’t be here.”

“Don’t feel like you’re a burden. We’re just girls enjoying each other’s company right now.”

She smiled at the idea and agreed I was right. We watched some trashy reality TV and then I began asking her questions about her pregnancy.

“So can you feel your baby kick and all that?” She rubs her belly when I ask.

“Oh yeah and when Roman is around she goes crazy!”

“She?” I say.

“I guess that’s just the feminist in me. I don’t know the sex of the baby yet.” I nod.

“Whatever I have… they’re going to be an angel.” She looks longingly at her pregnant belly. “I’m going to make some tea would you like some?”

“Yeah I’ll have cup.” I say as a flip through channels on the TV.

Letha goes to the kitchen while I lounge in the living room for a bit. The tea kettle whistles. I hear the back door open and I begin to make my way to the kitchen. I stop when I hear Letha talking to someone.

“What are you doing here?” I hear her ask.

“I couldn’t be there anymore. It’s not safe…” I knew that voice.

Christina Wendall… I peered out from behind the door frame a little to see her. Her hair was as white as snow.

“It’s okay you can stay here.” Letha says.

“Is anyone here? Are you alone?”

Letha begins to speak but I just walk in the kitchen acting cool. I purse my lips and give Christina an awkward smile.

“Please don’t tell your dad I’m here.” Christina tells Letha.

“I won’t, it’s okay you’re safe here.” Letha says and then looks at me and gives me a wink.

I take a seat several stools away from Christina. She looked uneasy and jittery. Letha sets a mug of tea in front of me.

“Would you like some tea too Christina?” Letha asks.

“They always give me tea… sure I’ll take some.”

Letha turns back to the counter preparing another cup. I slurp my tea since it was way too hot. Christina mumbles something under her breath I couldn’t quite catch what she said… She gave me an uneasy feeling. I was getting that uncomfortable ache in the pit of my stomach. Something wasn’t right.


	23. Saved

The pit of my being was aching. I also felt awkward and playing civil with Christina didn’t seem worth it.   
“I’m going to go sit in the living room. I’m not feeling well.” I say.  
“I hope it’s not the flu, it’s been going around.” Letha sounded so motherly already.  
I assure her that whatever it was I was feeling wasn’t major. I walk back to the living room and listen to the silence. I hear Christina and Letha speak again.  
“—sweetheart. What are you afraid of?” Letha says.  
“—warn you because I think it’s after you too.”   
The hairs on the back of my neck stood. The ache got stronger. The voice in the back of my head spoke to me, call Roman.  
“Raquel…” He answers on the first ring.   
“I really think you should come here…” I whisper, I didn’t want anyone to hear me.  
“What’s wrong?” I could hear the alarm in his voice.  
“Just—I think you should be here. It’s important.”   
“Why are you whispering?”   
“Roman!” I hiss. “Please just come over here!”   
“Okay, I’ll be right there.”   
While waiting for Roman’s arrival I kept making reasons to go into the kitchen if I couldn’t hear them speak or if it got eerily quiet in the house. While making my third cup of tea (I was going to piss myself), Christina eventually went to the bathroom. I walk up to Letha.   
“Letha,” I whispered, “Roman is coming.”  
“What why?” I shush her.  
“I told him Christina is here…” I bite my lip.  
Her eyes widened. “Why would you do that?” She looked betrayed.  
I open my mouth to speak but there was a knock on the door.   
“Go answer it, please.” Letha stay’s behind.   
I look through the small window in the door and Roman is peering down at me. He mouth’s ‘it’s me’ and raises his eyebrows. As soon as I opened the door Roman and Peter push past me.   
“Holy shit Peter…” I say shocked that he left the chapel.  
“What’s wrong?” Roman says urgently. The smell of bacon wafts off him…  
“Okay, don’t freak out…” I say.  
“Who’s here?” Peter sniffs.  
“I’ll bring her out!” Letha yells from the kitchen.  
Roman and Peter follow Letha’s voice instead even when I told them to wait. I peek through the space between the boys.  
“You’re safe. It’s okay Christina.” Letha comforts her.  
“She can’t be here it’s not a good idea…” Roman says.  
“Hey… its fine, it’s cool.” Peter says.  
Roman looks a little frustrated but he, for some reason, trusted Peter’s judgement. I would have gotten rid of her.   
All five of us pile into Letha’s Toyota Prius. It was a tight fit for us in the back. Christina sat in the middle of Peter and I. With the little space we had I noticed Christina made a conscious effort to not touch me. Bitch, I thought. Roman looked at me through the review and noticed the annoyed face I had on. He gave me a ‘be nice’ look and naturally I roll my eyes at him. Roman goes to light a cigarette he had rested on his lips and Letha rips it out.  
“Yo, baby on board!” She says.  
“Right…” Roman sighs.  
I wanted to laugh but I was too annoyed.   
“I’m sorry I told everyone you were a werewolf…” Christina chokes out.  
“Don’t mention it…” Peter looks at her endearingly. “It’s okay to be scared… I am too.”   
I wanted nothing more than to be anywhere else right now.   
“Hey stop right here at the convenient store.” Peter exclaims.   
“For what?” Roman makes eye contact with Peter in the review mirror.  
“Just stop here, okay.”  
Roman takes a sharp turn to the right. Normally Christina would have leaned into me from the force but she strained her body so that she didn’t. Peter, Roman, and I begin to get out.   
“Raquel, stay with Letha please…” Roman begins to push me back in.   
“Roman!” I try to push his arms away and then I look up him with puppy eyes.   
“Nice try…” He says as he shuts the door.   
I loudly exhale out of my nose, frustrated. The ache still hadn’t even begin to lessen. It pulsated. Christina scooted a whole two hands away from me. I side eyed her. She was treating me like I was the plague like there was something wrong with me. “Christina said you were lucky…” I hear Liam’s voice echo in my head. My heart skipped. Roman and Peter were the only two that knew I was attacked… My heart starts to pound. Why didn’t I notice before? I look inside the convenient store searching for either of the boys. They were both at the counter. I looked over to Christina her pupils were so dilated, the whole iris nearly pitch black.   
“Christina…” I say.  
I touch her hand. Everything faded to blood red. It was suffocating. The red fades to sterile white fur and then those eyes, the yellow fucking eyes. I quickly let go. I gasp. Letha turns around in her seat.  
“Raquel are you okay?” Letha asks.   
“Uh yeah… I think you’re right it might be the flu.” I lie.   
I look back at Christina her eyes were all wild. Roman and Peter get back in the car. They had bought an orange extension cord. Odd.  
“Sorry for the holdup…” Peter gives Roman a disapproving look.  
FUCK! FUCK! I screamed in my head. I went into a cold sweat. My heart was beating so fast that it hummed. SHE’S JUST A LITTLE FUCKING GIRL! I yell in my head. “A STUPID FUCKING GIRL!”   
We pull up to the chapel, finally. I jump out.   
“I think me and Letha should go.” I say trying to keep cool.  
Letha says she need to help keep Christina safe, too. BULLSHIT, I thought.  
“Raquel… come on.” Roman grabs my hand.  
I walk slowly so that the others end up walking ahead of us. We enter the chapel and I pull on Roman’s hand.   
“Roman, listen to m—“ I stop because my voice echoed even while I whispered.   
“Don’t be scared…” Roman touched my cheek.   
“THAT’S NOT IT ARE YOU STUPID!” I scream in my head again.   
What was I going to do without freaking everyone out and in turn get us all killed. Christina knew, that I knew and she looked at me with a devilish grin. Peter begins to prepare for the full moon. Roman lights and cigarette and I steal it from his lips.  
“Jesus! You can ask you know? Girls…” He grumbled.   
I walk off and give him a dismissing wave. Somehow I have to convince Letha to leave with me.   
“I kissed you once you know…” Christina says to Peter. “This past summer, you were asleep…” She giggles. “It was my first. I wanted the experience, it’s what writers do. That’s why I researched how to turn…”   
“What do you mean turn?” Peter’s ears perked up.  
This is it… I take a deep drag from the cigarette.  
“You had so many stories and I wanted some of my own. I wanted to be as free as you!” Her voice gets emotional. “It was pretty silly. I drank from your paw print and then it came… the harvest moon.” She looks up longingly.  
Peter looked speechless. My heart hadn’t stopped racing. Roman violently throws his cigarette down.  
“Raquel, Letha, you both need to get out of here.” Roman says and we exchange a look. Letha protests.   
“I fucking tried to tell you… I’m so sorry.” I say.  
“Come with me!” Peter tells to Christina.  
They are hidden in the random objects and rubble left in the chapel.   
“What is he going to do to her?!” Letha yells at Roman.  
“It’s her!” He points behind him. “She’s the fucking vagulf! It’s her!”  
Letha whimpers.   
“Let’s go Letha we can get out of here.” I grab her arm and she rips it out my grasp.   
“Peter what are you doing?” Letha calls out.   
“Why did you go to her? Why Letha?” We could hear Peter ask Christina.  
“The other one… THAT BITCH! She got away. She’s too strong… But Letha with that UGLY FUCKING THING IN THAT WHORE! She doesn’t deserve to live.”   
Letha tries to push past Roman. He holds her back.   
A growl rips through the air and Christina screams. You could hear her flesh rip. Wet, sticky, sinew and bones snapping. It sounded terrible. Christina, the girl, was now a large snow with wolf. Peter smears bacon grease on his face and stands their waiting. Christina the Wolf lunges at his and begins tearing at Peter’s beautiful human face. Letha cries out Peter’s name. Roman holds her back. My ears ring and I feel dizzy. Peter falls to his knees his jaw dangling by a tendon. All the flesh from his face was gone and what was left was a bloody skull. I shut my eyes tight. I was on the verge of a panic attack. I hold myself and collapse on my knees as well. Anywhere but here, anywhere but here… I repeat to myself. Letha’s screams and Christina’s growls and the noise of Peter choking on his blood begin to fade.   
“RAQUEL!” Roman’s voice pierces through.   
I open my eyes and the white wolf was before us. Sizing us up and growling.   
“FUCKING RUN GO!” Roman yells.  
Letha had already run to the exit door. It was chained shut. I stumble before I get back on my feet. I almost trip on the axe case running to the hopeless exit door. I stop there and open the case.   
I toss the axe to Roman. He gives me a nod.  
“Come here you little bitch! Come on!” Roman yells has he turns back to the mammoth wolf.   
Letha was crying and still banging on the chained door. There was no way in hell we were getting out. She runs back once she realizes. I hold my hand out so she wouldn’t run past me.   
“Roman be careful…” I say as Roman antagonizes the white wolf.   
The wolf lunges at him and I scream along with Letha. Roman turned the axe in time for the wolf to bite down on the axes handle. Yet he falls straight to his back and the wolf hoovers above him.   
“ROMAN!” I cry out as the wolf growls in his face.   
Spittle drips to his face. You can see the wolf breathe steam to his face. As if on cue Wolf Peter lunges at Christina. They snarl and bite at each other. Roman was able to get to his feet then. I hold him and as he stumbles back to where Letha and I stood. We were there unable to provide help even if we wanted to. Letha falls to her knees clutching her pregnant belly. The wolves growl and tear at each other viciously. Christina gets the upper hand and bites Peters flank and then chomps down on his neck. Peter whimpers. Wolf Christina bites down harder and his neck snaps. Peter lets out a small yelp and then nothing. I bury my face into Roman’s side and cry. I feel Roman hold me tighter. I look out again and Christina is sizing us up again ready to kill us. I hide my face into Roman again. If I was going to die right now I didn’t want to see it coming. I hoped I was first because I didn’t want to see my boyfriend die and I didn’t want to see Letha and her unborn baby die either.   
There was another yelp and then bones snapping.   
“Shelley?!” Roman says.  
When I look, I see that Shelley had Christina by the neck. Wolf Christina fell limp as Shelley let go. It was over. It was all— BANG! Blood spatters on our faces. BANG! Shelley clutches herself. Up on the chapels balcony was Sherriff Sworn with a shot gun. Before the Sherriff took another shot, Shelley was already out the door. The Sherriff and Roman followed.   
“Roman!” I say crying trying to catch up.   
“Please don’t hurt her!” I see Roman telling Sherriff Sworn as he looked into his eyes.   
Roman paid no mind to me. Which was understandable. He ran further into the cemetery adjacent to the chapel trying to track Shelley. I ran out of breath. I was exhausted. The rain was pouring hard and it stung my face as it pelted down. I collapse. I wanted to dissolve. I crawl to an old mausoleum and curl into the door frame. I don’t know how much time went by when I hear Roman call my name.  
“I’m right here…” I say weakly as he walks by the mausoleum.  
He turns on his heel and drops to his knees in front of me. He was clutching on to Shelley’s black wig.   
“She’s gone… Shelley’s gone.” He leans forward and cries into my chest. I hold him and willed myself not to cry. It wouldn’t help any if I did.   
When arrive to Roman’s house. I was wet freezing cold. My teeth chattered and my hair was stringy. Roman conducted himself like a robot. All function and no feeling. Olivia cascades down the steps.  
“Tell me darling.” Olivia pets at Roman.  
He explains that Christina was the killer and that Shelley killed her then disappeared. He chokes back tears. Olivia asks us to follow her to the living room. She sets the stage for our alibi.  
“You all were never there. It has already been arranged with Sherriff Sworn.” Olivia tells us. Tears silently fell from my face. “No one can never know the truth. Shelley would have wanted to save you all from the pain everything would have caused.”  
“It’s what she wants. Not what she would have wanted.” Roman corrects her.   
Olivia agrees. “We protect our own.”   
Roman and I go to his room after the chat with his mother. This was all too much. I stripped my damp clothes off myself and stood there in my just my panties. I go and lay on the crimson satin bed sheets. Roman strips to his just his jockey shorts. He goes to his closet and pulls and bottle of whiskey, his mint tin, that he doesn’t use for mints. He lights a joint while I take a two large gulps of the whiskey. It burned but it felt right. This is how Roman and I dealt with pain. We switch vices and I take a deep puff, I hold in the smoke until I felt my lungs would burst. I lay my head in his lap. He rests his hand on my bare breast. I flick a tear off his cheek and he blinks the rest back. I already feeling at ease, my mind stopped racing, I stopped feeling. Finally, I thought. Roman blows smoke and puts the joint to my lips and I take another toke.   
“I love you.” Roman’s eyes were half lidded.  
“I love you, too.”  
The next morning when we woke there was a heaviness that had been lifted but an emptiness had settled in its place.


	24. Kiss Ass

A week and some days had gone by. Things weren’t quite normal, I would never say that but everyone was coping. My parents were back and they were pissed. After several days of silent treatment, Liam and I were getting lectured in the living room.   
“With all the things happening here one of you could have called, even text us!” My mom yells.  
“We put a lot of trust in you two kids! Your Aunt was sick and we left the house to you two! Besides the mess in the house, your grades!” My dad crosses his arms.  
“Not to mention your attendance. Where do you two need to possibly be other than school?” My mother narrows her eyes.  
Liam and I look at each other and we both shrug. Our parents both shake their heads.  
“Raquel you are almost 18 years old, an adult! With your grades this low how are you even going to get into college?”   
“Mom, I’m already accepted into the community college. My grades aren’t that bad!” I protest.  
“Oh really? You have D in you science class that’s bordering into an F. Your father and I know you can get into a university, you’re a smart girl. Why aren’t you making smart choices?” I wanted to roll my eyes.  
“And that Godfrey kid… he seems like he’s getting you nowhere fast.” My dad adds.  
“Okay, you two haven’t even met him.” I roll my eyes.  
“Well we’re looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. Who knows what he’s like with the kind of sister he has!” She was going to go off until she looked at Liam.  
Liam was relaxed into the couch, smirking since I was getting chewed out. He thought he was scot-free.   
“And you young man,” My mom points at him, “are no better! Your grades are just as bad and not to mention that Mrs. Serrano saw you smoking cigarettes well into the night with some blonde girl!”   
I wanted to laugh! Cigarettes, of all things to get busted for when Liam is a damn drug dealer. Liam bows his head. Here comes his act.   
“I’m sorry mom.” He says solemnly.   
Since he was the youngest my parents gave him the most slack.  
“And who was this blonde girl?” My dad sounded too interested instead of angry.   
“Alexa Sworn, she peer pressured me into it.”   
I shoot Liam a confused look. He was seriously putting blame on a dead girl.  
“Oh…” My parents both said.  
“I’m sorry baby.” My mother coos at him.  
I’m sure they’ve seen the news coverage while at my Aunts. The faces of two young blonde girls, the daughters of a widower sheriff displayed on a national news channel. My parents give us the last of their two cents. Liam and I make our way to our rooms.   
“Really Liam? You throw Alexa under the bus like that?” I say as we reach the top of the steps.  
Liam shrugs. “Whatever, she was just some other girl.”   
“What? Liam you don’t mean that…”   
“Listen, I’m over it okay?” He ends the conversation there.  
He was still hurting. The fact that Shelley was blamed as a serial killer didn’t help our relationship. A few days before Liam told me that I should have known being at the Godfrey house so much. “She could have killed you too, Raquel.” Liam said. I wish I could tell him. I wish I could even hint at Shelley’s innocence. Right now, as more evidence was unfolding it wasn’t a good decision to tell him. He’d probably call me a liar anyway.   
As I get ready for bed there was a knock on my door and my mother’s head peaks through as he opens the door. Shit, she’s back for round two, I thought.   
“Hi, honey,” she sits at the end of my bed, “I know you might still be upset with me but I wanted to give you this.” She hands me an aged journal. “It was your aunts. She told me to give this to you but she also said you have to wait until your 18.”   
“Why 18?” I ask. My mom pursed her lips and shrugs. “Do you have the key for the lock on this?” I pull at it.   
She shakes her head. “You might have to use a bobby pin.” She gets up. “Anyway you’ll be 18 in two months not too long of a wait.”   
“Do I really have to wait until I’m 18?” I say annoyed.  
“Raquel, respect the dead.” She didn’t even say goodnight.   
The next morning, I jog out of the house when I hear Roman honk for me outside. I hear my dad grumble about Roman before I exited.   
“So did your parents have more to say to you this morning?” Roman smirks as he puts the car in drive.   
I roll my eyes. “Funny. No, I just need to get my grades up and they’ll get off my back. They think I’m jeopardizing my chances at getting in a decent university.”   
Roman reaches for my hand.   
“Just kiss ass to your teachers you’ll be fine. I’m sure universities will probably give our school some slack for what has happened.”   
When we park in the school parking lot Roman runs around to open the door for me. I step out and the rain was barely starting to pick up. Roman put his arm around me as we made our way inside. Roman and I decided to go public with our relationship even though it was never explicitly a secret, but you know, high school. People would whisper around us and assume stupid shit and I still could careless.   
“I’m ready for high school to be over.” I say and Roman smirks.   
During lunch I met Natalie and Vivienne in the courtyard. I’ve been trying to reconnect with them. They didn’t have any hard feelings about me not being around but things did feel different. As always they were either talking shit on someone or talking about boys.  
“So Luke kept texting me last night.” Natalie tells us.  
“Luke, the guy that goes to Penn State right?” I ask before I take a bite of my sandwich.  
“Yeah, Luke Morello. Look at what he sent me.” She giggles.  
She displays her phone to us and it was a picture of Luke’s erect penis. I shield my eyes and laugh.  
“It’s so small!” Viv laughs.  
“I couldn’t believe it! I haven’t returned his calls or texts since!” Nat says through laughter.  
We all cracked up. Vivienne cleared her throat and signaled me to look behind me. Roman was approaching us. He takes a seat next to me.  
“What are you girls laughing about?” He puts his arm around my waist.   
We all blush.   
“Forget that I asked.” Roman one handedly takes a cigarette out if his pack and lights it.  
“So Josh is coming to visit.” Vivienne carries on the conversation. “I haven’t seen him in like two weeks, he had midterms and all that.”   
Josh Everett also went to Penn State. The way Viv described him made me think of some douche frat boy. Most likely he was, its Viv’s M.O. Roman smoked his cigarette he didn’t even try to take an interest in the conversation. He just scanned the courtyard.  
“He said he wants to take me to that fancy restaurant in Penrose.”   
“Can I go to?” Natalie jokes. “Don’t give me that look bitch.” She says to Viv.  
I caught Roman chuckle at that. Viv puts a hand to her mouth she looked like she was going to be sick.   
“Don’t be dramatic, I just called you a bitch!” Nat says.  
“I’m okay, okay…” Viv takes a deep breath. “Okay no.” She clamps her mouth shut and runs into the school.  
“Oh shit! We should go check on her…” I say.   
“She probably faking I would give it a minute.” Natalie says as she steals the rest of Viv’s chicken nuggets.  
Roman stubs his cigarette out on the picnic table.   
“Letha is waving us over.” He nods to her direction.   
Letha and Peter were sitting on a bench under the biggest tree on campus. I didn’t want to leave Nat by herself and she sensed that.   
“Go, I might as well check on Viv.” She says. “She’s probably pregnant with a can of axe.” Nat laughs.   
Before I leave Natalie asks for my chips and I toss them to her.   
Roman, Peter, Letha and I spent the rest of lunch talking under the tree. We all avoided heavy topics and joked.  
“Those girls you hang with Raquel…” Roman smirks as he shakes his head.   
“Well at least it’s never boring.” I say.  
“Oh so we’re boring now?” Peter pretended to be offended.  
The bell rings. And the next bell rings. And then the next and Roman and I meet at his locker before our last class.  
“We should ditch.” He says into my ear. I roll my eyes.  
“My grades…” I say annoyed.   
“Right.” He pinches my butt as we walk into English Lit. “Kiss ass.” He reminds me.  
We still sat in the seats we that we choose in the beginning of school year. We could switch but there’s that unspoken rule that you can’t break the seating even when there wasn’t an official seating chart.   
“Does anyone want to volunteer to read?” The teacher says. We were reading a short story today. The Gift of the Magi.  
“Yeah I will.” I say.   
The teacher looked surprised. As I read I could see out of the corner of my eye Roman making kissy lips at me, taunting me. I need to get my grades up and yeah, I wasn’t above kissing ass.  
After school Roman takes me home. We sit in the car talking.   
“So should I bring anything for this dinner with your parents?”   
I shrug. “Like what?”   
“Like wine or something? I’ve never done this stuff before.” Roman bites at his thumb nail.  
“Roman this isn’t Olivia’s house where she lets you drink and do whatever. You’re 17 years old bringing wine to a dinner with your 17 year old girlfriend’s parents.” I lift an eye brow at him.  
“The French let their kids drink wine at dinner time…” He jokes. I roll my eyes.  
“Roman, my mom freaked when she heard Liam was smoking fucking cigarettes for Christ sake! Liam’s a fucking drug dealer!” Roman laughed. “Just dress nice. Be prepared for questions. Aaaand take a xanax if you have to.” I kiss him. “I’ll see you later.”   
“Yeah, yeah.” He takes off.  
…   
I help my mom prepare dinner. I was putting the garlic bread in the oven while my mom grabbed fresh ingredients for her marina sauce. Spaghetti was on the menu tonight, my favorite.   
“Okay, I’m going to get dressed.” I say.   
She tells me to drain the noodles before I go.   
I put on a dark grey skater skirt and a green plaid button up. I tucked that in. I throw my long brown hair into a messy bun. I touched up my makeup and I was ready.   
I was laying on my bed, one leg dangling off and swinging. Looking through my social media on my phone. Waiting. I hear my mom call for me downstairs.   
Roman stood in the foyer he slicked his hair back and was wearing a suit. He had flowers in his hands. He smirks at me. He knows exactly what he looks like. I roll my eyes at him.   
“You kiss ass.” I say in his ear after I kiss him.   
“Wow, aren’t you tall.” My mom says after she greeted him.   
“Thanks for noticing, I never get that.” He winks at my mom.   
She giggled. My mom fucking giggled like a school girl. I was already uncomfortable. She takes the flowers out of Roman’s hands and head toward the kitchen.   
“Robert!” She calls for my dad out in the back yard. “Raquel’s boyfriend is here. You two come sit.” Roman and I take a seat next to each other at the set dining table.  
“You look great.” He whispered in my ear.  
“Everyone here is way under dressed compared to you.”   
“Is it the vest it have on under the coat? I can take it off.”   
“Jesus, I’ve never seen you nervous like this.” I giggle.  
“I told you I’ve never done shit like this before.”   
My dad clears his throat when he enters the dining room. Roman stands up. My dad gave Roman an extra firm handshake.   
“Mary mentioned you how tall you were while I was in the kitchen but to be honest I expected taller.” Dad humor.   
Roman laughed. “I haven’t heard that one before.”   
“I had a buddy in college about you’re height. Six foot four?” Roman nods. “Thought so. Well I’m ready to eat.” My dad calls for Liam to come to the dining room.   
Liam gives Roman a head nod. My mom starts to place plates in front of all of us.   
“Let’s not forget this.” She sets the vase of flowers Roman brought in the center of the table.   
It was during the middle of our meal that my parents begin asking questions.   
“So,” my dad wipes his mouth, “have you thought about where you want to go for college, Roman?”   
“Uh yeah. Mostly likely Penn State. My mom knows some of my dad’s old colleagues who works in the biotech program there.”  
“Hmm you think your mother can get Raquel in?” My dad points his fork at me.  
“Dad.” I was irritated.  
“Well I hope your grades aren’t anything like Raquel’s, Roman.” I roll my eyes.  
“Raquel is really smart I’m sure she’ll get into some where nice without my mother’s help.” Roman winks at me.  
We continue on with the rest of our dinner making small talk. At some point Roman would knock his knee against mine flirting with me. He even tried to sneak his hand up my skirt but I slapped it away. He raised his eyes brows and smirked.  
“Well it was nice finally meeting you, Roman.” My mom says after dinner. My dad nods along. We were all standing in the living room.  
“Thank you, the food was delicious Mrs. Quinn. It’s nice having a real home cooked meal for once.” Roman smiles graciously.  
“Oh… well you’re welcome anytime.” She gives him a pat on his back.  
“Thank you for having me Mr. Quinn.” Roman goes to shake his hand.  
“Please, call me Robert. I don’t like to think I’m that old.”   
I show Roman out. I follow him to the porch where we could be alone.  
“I hate stuff like this. It’s embarrassing.” I say.  
“It wasn’t so bad. I kind of made me feel a little normal.” He embraces me. “So am I sneaking into your house or are you sneaking out of your house tonight?” He makes sure he speaks in a hushed tone.  
“It’s Friday. I’ll go over to yours. My parents are leaving in the morning to clear out the last of my aunts things.”   
Last night Roman was over. He rolled off my bed and laid on the floor while my mom spoke to me on the other side of the bed. We spent the night ever night since Christina died and since Shelley disappeared. We both had night terrors and we’d wake up in a cold sweat. It felt better being with someone who could understand and be there at night than be alone to relish in those terrifying images.   
We put on the act of saying goodbye when really it was an ‘I’ll see you in a minute’.   
“I’ll circle around.” Roman whispered in my ear before I go back in.  
My parents are watching the news and turn to me as walk in. This was their nightly routine. My dad would fall asleep on the couch and mom would tidy up the rest of the house before waking my dad up to go to bed. I told them that I was tired and went to my room. I quickly packed a bag. I throw it out the window, it rolls off the roof. I swing my leg over the window sill and then quietly slide the window back down, making sure to leave it cracked. I peer down the 15 foot drop and Roman was down there already crouched waiting for me. I start climbing down the white lattice on the side of my house. I look down making sure I don’t jump off while too high up and Roman is smirking because he can see the red lace panties I wore under my skirt. He grabs me by the hips and settles me down to the grass. He carries my bag for me. We quietly open the backyard gate and walk away hunched until we were on the property of the next house. He had parked 3 houses away.   
We barely settle into his room when we took a shot of vodka. The liquor helped us sleep even if it only lasted for a few hours before the terrors start. Roman begins to undress he gazed at random things as he took off each piece of clothing. I always caught him doing this. He looked sad like a little broken boy. I know he was thinking about Shelley and maybe thinking of how things could have gone differently. I kick off my shoes and went into Roman’s side table drawer for a joint. I lit it as I leaned against the headboard and took a puff. Roman walked over to me in his briefs. I pass the joint to him. I scoot over so that he could sit next to me. He passes the joint back and rests his hand on my knee and as I inhaled he slowly started to slide his hand up my skirt.   
“You’re not going to slap my hand away again are you?” He says coyly.  
I gave him a lip biting smile and shake my head no. He pushes my legs further apart and before he could touch my most sensitive area I straddled him. I take another puff and shot gun the smoke in his mouth. We begin to make out. Roman unbuttons the first two buttons on my shirt and pulls it over my head. I unclasp my bra and toss it. I reach in between us and pull his growing erection out of his underwear. I pump my hand up and down is length, feeling it get harder. Roman kisses my neck and moans into my skin. His hot breath making a shiver go up my spine. He pinches one of my nipples and I let out a small yelp. He takes my hand off him and turns us around so that he’s hovering above me. He flips my skirt up. He dips his head in between my legs and licks me through my panties. I pull at his hair. He leans back up and takes my panties off. I guide him in and he thrusts. I dig my nails into his lower back and rake them down to his bottom. He grunts. Roman puts his hand on my neck and puts light pressure and beings pounding harder into me. I arch my back ready to let go. I scratch deeper into Roman’s back as I climax. I feel the blood well up underneath my finger nails. That sets him off and he comes right after.  
He rolls over and we lay next to each other panting. As I catch my breath, I hear Roman sobbing. I turn to look at him immediately. It seemed like everything that has happened hit him at once like a freight train.  
“Roman…” I turn over to my belly.  
“Shit… I didn’t mean to…” He wipes the wetness from his eyes.  
“It’s okay… I’m here for you.” I rest my head on his chest.   
Roman wrapped his arm around me. “Peter says Destiny could help me… Help me find Shelley by tapping into my mind.”  
“Do you think it’ll work?”  
“I’ll try anything.”   
Roman reached over to the night stand and grabbed some Ambien so that we could get a few hours of sleep before the nightmares came.


	25. Birthday

2 months later.   
The angel starts stalking towards me. You’re dreaming Raquel, I say to myself. Wake up. My neck was tied in a thick rope and the more I tugged the tighter it would be. The light emitting from the angel was so blinding that it made my eyes water. This happened all the time. Suddenly, the scene changes and I see a pair of unreal bright blue eyes stare into mine. I feel my insides twist. I spit up blood. WAKE UP. I jolt straight up. I catch my breath while I wipe at the cold sweat on my forehead. I feel around the bed and didn’t feel Roman’s sleeping body next to mine. I panic.  
“Roma?!” I call out into the dark room.  
“I’m right here.”   
The cherry of his joint floats in the dark. Roman was sat in a chair facing out the window. The moonlight contoured his profile beautifully.   
“Come here.” Roman says patting his lap.  
I step over various liquor bottles to get to him. I sit on his lap, I was bare chested. Roman rubbed my back and guides my head to rest on his shoulder.  
“Was it the angel again?” He asks. I just shake my head.  
The images flash through my mind again. I feel tears well up but I blink them back. Crying never helped.   
“Did you have a dream too?” I say into his neck.  
“Yeah… it was Shelley.” He takes a puff of the joint.  
“Do you think your meetings with Destiny are finally helping?”   
“I- I don’t know.” He fidgets with the band of my lace panties on my hip. “Make your heart steel… that’s what she tells me every time.”   
“She’ll come back.” I kiss Roman’s neck.   
We stayed up the rest of night in bed. Talking about anything and everything. School was over. We had finally graduated. I pulled my grades up enough to graduate with a decent GPA. It was a fuckin relief. Penn State actually accepted me to their university. My parents got off my back then.   
Later in the evening Roman and I go to my house.   
“Hello?” I call out.   
My mom answered from the kitchen.   
“Hi Roman.” They exchange a smile. “Thanks for bringing her back from Natalie’s.”   
“No problem Mrs. Quinn.” He winks.   
We were big liars and luckily I had friends that were willing to cover for me if needed.   
“Oh Raquel! You got a letter from NYU! I didn’t know applied there too?” My mom hands me the envelope.  
“Yeah but it was just to humor myself I don’t really think it’s anything.” I say tearing at the letter.   
I unfold the letter.   
Congratulations! We are very pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the College of Arts and Sciences of New York University for fall term…  
I stood there like a statue reading the first sentence over and over again until it didn’t even make sense. I see Roman peer over to read the letter.   
“Well, what’s it say?” My mom says impatiently.   
“She got in.” Roman says for me in amazement.   
My mom screams and I finally snap out of it.   
“Holy shit.” I say as my mom embraced me. She laughed.  
“NYU!” Roman exclaimed as he hugged me next.  
“What a great early birthday present for you, Raquel! Your father and I are very proud of you.” My mom says.   
She excused herself to finish making dinner. Roman and I chilled in my room we put on a movie but we spent most of our time making out instead.   
“So how do you feel right now college girl?” Roman asks as he leaned half his body out my window to smoke a cigarette.   
“I don’t know. I didn’t think I’d actually have options. PSU and NYU are two really great schools.”   
“Go to NYU. A big city is where you belong.” He accidentally blows cigarette smoke into my room and tries to fan it away.  
“Are you trying to get rid of me?” I grab a can of air freshener from my nightstand. “I don’t want to leave you.” The room smelled like cinnamon.  
“We’ll figure something out.” He tosses the cigarette out.   
3 days later.   
My birthday cake was blazing in front of me. All 18 candles were lit. Every one of my friends were here. They were singing Happy Birthday to me. “Hurry make a wish” they all yelled. I blew all the candles out in one sweeping blow. Everyone cheered. I didn’t even make a wish.   
We were all outside eating cake. Viv was asking Letha all sorts of questions about pregnancy. Turns out she’s been having morning sickness the last couple of months. Her boyfriend, Josh Copeland, was at my party too. Josh was moving here to be with Viv and for their baby. Letha was practically about to burst at any moment. Peter doted on her and it was such a sweet sight. He would kiss her belly all the time and rub his hands over the large bump. Of course. Natalie was here making jokes with Liam. She ended up eating the rest of his cake too. Roman sat next to me on the picnic bench. We both watched everyone interacting as we sat in our own bubble. Roman was fidgeting, picking at the inseam of his jeans. Nicotine addict.   
“When are your parents leaving?” Roman asked as he started messing with locks of my hair now.  
“I think they went inside to get ready to leave.” I take the last bite of my cake.  
“Man, dating an older lady is sexy.” He bites his lip.  
“I’m only like a month older than you, Roman.” I roll my eyes.  
“And a half.” He adds.  
Everyone pretended to leave so that my parents wouldn’t suspect an after party. As soon as they left everyone drove back around to my block. Natalie had a case of beer and half a bottle of vodka displayed in the air as she entered.   
“Had to bribe Adam an extra twenty to get me the beer. I stole the liquor from my step mom.” Adam was Nat’s older brother.   
Liam was playing his usual party playlist on the sound bar in the living room.   
“Raquel, I invited Benny and Thomas, I hope you don’t care.” Liam yells at me.   
I just shrugged, the more the better. Roman walked in the house with a lit cigarette.   
“Peter went to take Letha home but he’s coming back with Destiny.” He said.  
He had two liquor bottles in his hand. Tequila and Jack. Everyone was getting wasted tonight that’s for sure.   
I was already on round three of beer pong. I had already beat my brother and Thomas. We set it up with two rickety card tables, Liam and I found in the garage. Nat and I played against each other and I was dominating.   
“Bitch, don’t do it!” Natalie yells over the music.   
She was on her last cup. I threw the pong ball and it splashed right in her cup. I cheered and so did the others who were watching. Roman hands me a shot and we tap our glasses together before drinking. He leans down and kisses me with his tequila soaked lips.   
“Are you having fun?” He whispers into my ear.  
“Yeah, but I know how I could be having more fun.” I tug his belt buckle.   
He grabs my hand and looks around. Everyone was occupied with something or someone. Quickly, Roman drags me behind him and we go to the backyard. He picks me up as soon as the back door shut. I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist. We kiss deeply and a little messy as we were both tipsy. He sets me down by the deck railing. I reach over to try and unbuckle his belt but he slaps my hands away.   
“You don’t have to do anything it’s your birthday.” He winks at me.  
He gets on his knees a pushes my skirt up. He looks at me with a surprised expression. I wasn’t wearing any panties. I smile at him.  
“Sheeit.” He said.  
He takes one of my legs and hooks it around his shoulder. I was practically sitting on his face. He was letting me drip all over him. I bite my lip trying to stifle my moans. I start rocking my hips when he put his fingers in me. After a while Roman gets back up.   
“Shhh, you want someone to find us.” He laughs.  
I hadn’t even realized I was being loud.   
“Turn around.” He commands.  
Roman flips my skirt back up, revealing my bare bottom. He gives it a hard smack. I tip toe and arch my back more for him.  
“If you make a noise I’ll stop.” He says as he positions himself.  
I moan. He retracts.  
“I’m serious.” I try to push myself back onto him. Roman chuckles. “None of that either.”   
He grabs hard onto my hips so that he’s in control of my movements. I bite down on my hand as soon as he enters me. I tried my best to be quiet and I thought I was doing pretty well until Roman puts his hand over my mouth. He stops abruptly.  
“Don’t make me stop again.” He says sternly in my ear.  
He picked up his pace again. I held my breath, it was torture. I could hear his breathing get ragged, he was close. Sound started building in my throat. As soon as he climaxed, I cried out. I slumped over the railing catching my breath. Roman turned me around to face him. He leaned down and kissed me.   
“Happy birthday.” He said with his lips centimeters away from mine.  
After we straightened up we join the party once again. Destiny and Peter had arrived while we were away. Peter lifts his brows at us.   
“Jesus Christ, you two couldn’t be more obvious!” Destiny says.  
She comes over and gives me a big hug. She hands me a small draw string bag. It rattled and felt heavy. I opened it and there were all sorts of crystals gleaming at me.  
“Put these around your room. Helps with the bad juju. This one,” she grabs an oval pearlescent stone, “put under your pillow. I might help with the dreams.” I give Destiny another hug as a thank you.  
“Alright, where’s the tequila!?” Destiny rubbed her hands together.  
The next morning I woke up with a throbbing headache. I woke up laying diagonally in my bed with one leg swung over Roman. We were both half naked. It seemed like we were trying to have sex again but we were both too drunk to even take most of our clothes off. I assume we just passed out instead. I check the time. 7:32 AM, flashed in red on my alarm clock. I roll off the bed and quickly put on a baggy tee and changed to a pair of soffe shorts. I nudged Roman to wake up but he just grunted and rolled over teetering a bit too close to the edge.   
I power walk down stairs. I was afraid of the mess that was left and also worried my parents would be home. I see Liam with a large black hefty bag and grabbing cans off the coffee table. He looks up at me.  
“Mom and dad said they’d be home by nine. I thought your ass was going to be too fucked up to wake up and clean.” Liam said now taking a wipe to the table top.  
“Well let me help you at least.”   
“It’s okay. This is the last of it.”   
I look around and the house was picked up. Even the card tables were put away.  
“Destiny and Peter helped clean a little before the headed out. It wasn’t so bad. Consider it a birthday gift, though.” Liam winks at me as he ties off the hefty bag. “Well I’m going to put this out back and go back to sleep.” He yawned out the sentence.   
“Have you even gone to bed?” I ask.  
“Nah, I was up talking to Destiny and Peter. They have a lot of interesting gypsy stories. I was still thinking about them after they left.”   
“Yeah they’re good people. Well, thank you.”   
Liam heads out back. I grab two water bottles from the fridge before going back up to my room. Roman was still asleep. He was now splayed out on the bed taking up nearly all the room. He was shirtless and his pants were unbuttoned but still around his hips. He looked beautiful and disheveled all at the same time. I lightly poked and pinched at his side to wake him up. Finally, he peeped one green eye at me and then closed it. He gave me irritant moan.   
“Fuck me…” He said groggily. “Too early.” He tried to pull me back into bed.  
“Roman, wake up my parents are going to be home soon.”   
“Ugh. Fine.”   
Roman gets dressed into the clothes he came over in. He moved slowly. I packed some clothes. I intended to go back to sleep at Roman’s house and I didn’t feel like changing.   
“I feel like shit.” Roman says lighting his cigarette. We were now in his Jaguar.   
“You have anything in your mint tin for the head ache?” I put on Roman’s Ray Bans. The sun was making it worse.   
“Just these pain killers.” He hands me two. “Do you want a cigarette?”   
“Ugh, no.” I wave his offer away. I take the pills.  
He chuckled. When I drank enough I had a tendency to chain smoke like it was my job. I would always regret it the next day because I made my throat sore and raspy.   
“I should get black out drunk more often.” Roman said.   
I side eye him even with the dark sunglasses on.   
“No dreams.” He simply said.   
I could understand him on that. I didn’t dream either.   
We get back to his house and I immediately burrow into his plush bed.   
“When we wake up we should go by Destiny’s.” Roman said putting his arm around me.  
“You think it’ll work today? Last time-“   
“She’s out there, Raquel. Shelley’s waiting for me to find her.” He says into my hair.  
“I believe you, Roman.”   
We sleep the hangover away. For once I didn’t worry about the sleep terrors.


	26. The Curse

I wake up from my nap as soon as I feel Roman jolt up from his sleep. I turn over and he immediately grabs a cigarette from his night stand. This was the second time I didn’t dream. I felt more confused about it than relief. I have gotten so accustomed to sleepless nights and little hours of sleep that it became normal for me.   
“You alright?” I ask.  
“Yeah,” he takes a puff, “I was drowning in a fucking pool of blood.”   
“Shit.” I say and he just raises his eye brows.   
I roll out of bed and get dressed. I wear a loose fitting tank, skinny jeans everything was black except for the red lace bra that would peek through my tank and of course my white converse. I fix my bun pulling little wisps of hair out to frame my face.   
“I’m ready whenever you are.” I say laying back down in the bed.  
Roman just nods and stubs his cigarette out. He changes quickly into his usual look. After putting his shoes on he walks over to his closet.  
“I got you a gift.” He grabs a box from the top shelf.  
“Roman, I told you not to get me anything.” I sit at the edge of the bed.   
“Well too bad. Close your eyes.” He turns back to see that I hadn’t. “Raquel.” He looked annoyed.  
“Fine.” I close them.  
He places a box in my hand.   
“Okay, open your eyes.”   
I looked down at my non wrapped present. Boys… I thought.   
“Oh shit! You heard me talk about these with Letha didn’t you?”   
He smiles. It was the new Polaroid camera’s that were popular. I start to take it out of its box. He goes into his bottom drawer and hands me several packs of Polaroid film.   
“These all should last you a while.” He says.   
I begin to insert the film in the camera. I lean back and point the camera at him.   
“I wasn’t ready!” He said blinking from the flash of the camera.   
“Whatever, you look good all the time.” I shake the Polaroid.   
“Pfft,” He rolls his eyes, “alright you ready to go to Destiny’s?” He grabs my hand.  
We arrive at Destiny’s apartment just as soon as she finished whatever she did with some clients.   
“You two take a seat, I need to get freshened up.” She winks.   
“Where’s Peter?” Roman asked.  
“He is Letha and her parents. Dinner or something like it.”  
“Right.” Roman sighs and takes a seat next to me.  
“There’s some beers in the fridge if you two want some.” Destiny yells from her room.   
We both get up a little reluctantly since we had just sat down. Roman opens the fridge. He twists the top off the beer bottle and hands it to me before he grabbed one for himself. He leaned on the kitchen island. I point my camera at him.  
“Look at me like it’s the last time you’ll ever see me.” I say dramatically.  
He shoots me a confused look. I captured it. I laugh.  
“Let me take a picture of you. You’ve only taken photos of me.” He takes the camera from my hands. “Smile.” I give the camera a big toothy smile. “Beautiful.”   
“I want to take a picture with you now.” I put my arms around him.   
He extends his long arm out and looks down at me and takes the photo. We take several photos of us.   
“Me next!” Destiny says as she joins us. She half way hid behind some bead curtains and I took a picture of her. “Can I shake it? That’s the best part.” I hand her the Polaroid. She did a little jig as she shook it. It made us laugh. She looked at the photo of me smiling. “Can I keep this one?”   
“Yeah, go ahead.”   
Destiny takes the photo and pins it to her fridge. There were other photos of her and Peter. Even a photo of Roman and Letha. Destiny spins on her heel to face us again.  
“So you ready Roman?” She claps her hands together.  
He nods. Destiny sets his beer down on the counter and takes his hand. They went to her séance room and I stayed behind in the living room, giving them privacy. I flipped through her coffee table books displaying various nude haute models. I got bored and messed with the settings on the Polaroid and took pictures of random objects. A photo of a baby cactus on Destiny’s window sill. A photo of an assortment of gems. I even took several photos of myself.   
I hear the bead curtains rustle and Roman comes in the living area with teary eyes. Destiny follows behind him looking a little defeated.   
“Still nothing.” Destiny said for him.  
I got up and hugged him. I rubbed his back as he wiped away at his eyes.   
“I’m ready to go.” Roman says shakily.  
I gather my things. Before I leave I give Destiny a hug. She gasped and pulled me closer to her. Roman looked alarmed.  
“Did you see that?” She finally let go.  
“No… what was it?” I was confused.  
“Melissa? She said don’t forget about the journal. Who’s Melissa?” She bites at her nail.  
“My aunt… she’s dead. You can communicate with the dead too?”   
“Shit, not like that. Only vibes but not an actual clear message.”  
“Well, I better get to my house.”   
I say bye to her again. She had made her way to the kitchen for a beer.  
“She looks just like you.” She added before I left.  
Roman offered me a cigarette as we drove to my house. He leans a hand over and lights it for me. I take I picture of him driving.   
“I’m regretting getting you that thing now.” We laugh. “So, that journal it’s the one your mom gave you that night I had to hide nearly half way under your bed?”  
“Yeah, she told me not to open it until I’m 18. I forgot about it since then though.” I take a puff.  
“What do you think could possibly be important enough in there that you couldn’t see until now?” He shifts gears as we turn onto my block.  
“Maybe about the weird vision shit I have she’s the one that took me to someone to get rid of them, remember?” I toss my cig out the car.  
“Maybe.” Roman purses his lips.   
We enter my house. I call out to see if anyone was home. No one was.  
“Is anyone ever here?” Roman says sarcastically.  
When we get to my room I search through my underwear drawer where I had stored the journal. I pull at the lock.  
“I forgot there’s not a key for this.” I say.  
Roman grabs the journal and tugs at the little cheap lock and it still didn’t break off. He grabs a pen from my night stand and loops it through the hook and with a little extra force it flew off. Hitting the wall behind me.  
“Sorry.” He said as he handed me the book.  
We sat at the edge of my bed. I open the journal, the spine gave a loud crack.  
Property of:  
Melissa Merlo  
Merlo, my mom, Mary’s maiden name. My aunt had never married or had kids either. In the ‘please return to’ area she had scribbled out ‘return’ and added ‘burn’.   
Please BURN if found.  
I turn the page and it was dated in the early 2000’s and it was just random babble about her day. I flip to the next several pages and it was about more of the same. There were a several blank pages and then my name written in caps, RAQUEL. The next few pages after that were ripped out.   
“What the hell?” I say. I flip to the next page with writing. It wasn’t dated. I read out loud.  
This is hard to explain. Mary would never allow me to really tell you about yourself. She never believed in that kind of stuff. After all growing up we just thought they were stories. Our grandmother, you great grandmother, would speak of gypsies and how your great grandfather had crossed them. We just thought they were stories… Until you, Raquel, made us realize they were not stories but really a warning. Don’t be alarmed. I have to start from the beginning…   
As little girls Mary and I stayed with our grandma’s all the time. Grandpa Alonso had already passed on as a bitter old man. Grandma Maria would tell us stories about gypsies your great grandfather, my granddad. Hope this isn’t confusing you, hard to differentiate. Anyways, Alonso was traveling from Texas to Philly and he had caught a ride with some gypsies. He didn’t enjoy his time with them, he wasn’t used to their way of doing things. One night he prepared to abandon them and travel the rest of his way on his own. He stole what little food they had, money, and whatever else he could use. An older gypsy woman that traveled with them stopped him. She scolded Alonso and demanded the things back. He refused and began to make a run for it. She yelled at him. “If you go the first born of every generation of your linage shall suffer in your consequence. You take our food and they will always be hungry with a full belly, they will be forced to see the things money could never get rid of, they will have to feel more than anyone because, you coward, have no feelings.” Grandpa Alonso ran off into the night in fear.  
He didn’t believe in the curse. It had skipped a generation. His first born son was not affected. Then when I was about 4 and your mom about 2 we moved from Philly to Hemlock Grove. Whatever it is that’s wrong with this damn town it began to affect me. The first born. I would always scare your mother. I made her cry all of the time. Our parents blamed my visions on my active imagination. They were also angry that Maria was putting these stories in our heads. We stopped going to Grandma’s and soon after she had passed away. I learned how to deal with my ‘talents’ as I like to call it. I hate saying curse. The things that I have seen… it made me terrified of having children. I even warned your mother. She wouldn’t believe me. When she was pregnant with you. I wanted to be so happy, that you, a new life was coming into our lives but I couldn’t help but feel so terrified and sad for you. I didn’t know for sure that you would inherit the consequence of your great grandfather but when I held you, swaddled tight in your blanket at the hospital, you opened your eyes for the first time and I saw it. The stain of the curse in you.   
As you grew older I urged Mary to accept you. To accept that the stories were not just stories. You frightened her too, just the same way I used to frighten her as children. I know she saw a lot of herself in Liam. He would cry and cry about the things you would tell him. I’m glad that now you two are close despite all that. I wish that Mary and I had been like that. One night you told your mother something disturbing, she would never tell me what you said. When I saw you the next day, I knew. You told her exactly how I would die and you were going to go on to her death but she stopped you. Mary begged me to do something to stop it. I only knew one person and at the time he lived out of Hemlock County. The next day I took you to Nikolae Rumancek.   
“Rumancek...” I whisper.   
“Just… keep reading.” Roman said.   
He was the only gypsy in the area powerful enough to help you. You were in the woods with him until the sun set. I don’t know what he did. He was adamant that I was not allowed to be there despite the fact that I was affected as you were. “Too late for you,” he said to me. “The girl, I can at least try.” You ran into my arms cheerfully after you two emerged from the woods. You had dried blood on your face, war paint. Nikolae gives me a head nod letting me know that whatever he had done worked. That poor man looked exhausted. “She’s good, for how long, I don’t know. This town is no good for someone like her, like you. Leave.” I offered to pay him but he declined. “Go or it’ll come back. It always comes back and the second time will bite you on the ass harder than the first.”   
I told Mary everything. I offered to have you move with me across state but she was stubborn. Mary wanted to pretend that everything that had happened never happened. I put this journal together for you before I left and before I ever got sick. Don’t feel sad. I know what you’re going through right now. I saw it. In your eyes before I left Hemlock Grove for good. I’m sorry it came back. Now this is your chance to use it as an advantage rather than a burden. In the back of the journal I tucked in some drawings you’d draw in all sorts of variations. It drove your mom crazy. Be a good girl. I love you.   
I felt tears run down my eyes. I couldn’t control it. I was weeping.   
“Fuck my life.” I say through sobs.   
“It’s okay. Now you know. You’re going to be okay.” Roman holds me.   
He takes the journal from my hands. He flips to the very back where my childhood drawings were. I sniffle as I sit up. Roman unfolds the first drawing. A brown wolf, it looked like Peter. The next he unfolded was just a crude drawing of Liam. The next were a pair of disembodied green eyes. The last was the angel its body was silhouetted while the wings were visible.   
“Shit.” I grab the picture and run my finger along the wings.   
“Is this supposed to be Peter?” Roman holds up the wolf drawing.   
“I don’t remember making these. This is the angel Roman… how?”   
All my life I have been this thing. A curse. I was forced to see things and intensely feel and everything I tried to help myself and others could never satisfy me.


	27. Code Omega

I sat with my legs crossed on the floor on my room. Packing pairs of shoes into a large Tupperware box. I was packing for college. It really started to feel real now. I was leaving Hemlock Grove. Just like my aunt wanted me to long ago. Roman laid on my bed looking through some old artwork of mine that I had found while packing.   
"This one is really good." He shows me a still life drawing of fruits.   
"Really? That was just a class assignment." I say putting the lid over the one of many Tupperware boxes.   
"I'm going keep it of you don't mind." I just shrug.   
I start to fold clothes into a new Tupperware box. My room looked like a mess but soon it will be nearly empty. Half of my life in Tupperware boxes.  
"So... are you nervous about moving to a big city?" Roman asks.  
"Kind of. I'm not going to know anyone, Roman. You're not going to be with me, either." I say matching pairs of socks together.   
After much thought and also reluctance I decided to get out of Pennsylvania all together. I was going to NYU. Roman was a big supporter of my decision. My parents were ecstatic when I finally made a choice. I would have been just fine going to the community college but everyone expected much more from me.   
"New York isn't that far. I'll call you, there's Skype, FaceTime. We'll always be connected."   
"It's not the same." I look up at him.  
"But it's better than nothing. You're going to be fine." He assured me.  
"Yeah, yeah." I start to fold my panties.  
Roman reaches and grabs a pair of my black lace panties.   
"I'm going to keep these too." He winks as he stuffs into his back jean pocket.  
"Freak." I laugh. "So your birthday is in two weeks."   
"Yeah." Roman gets up and goes sit on the window sill to smoke.  
"What do you want to do?" I ask.  
He shrugs while half his body is leaning out the window.   
"Last year," he lights his cig, "Olivia rented out PennsylMania."  
"She rented out all of PennsylMania?" I say in disbelief.   
Roman just nods as he exhales smoke.   
"Who all went?" I ask.  
"Just Letha."   
"Just you and Letha? Jesus, you Godfrey's..."  
"We're modest people." He gives me a smug smile.  
"Well... how is your 18th birthday ever going to top that?"   
"I don't know maybe my mom will buy me an island." He says sarcastically.  
I roll my eyes at him.   
Later that evening we arrive at Destiny's apartment. Peter answered the door. He gives Roman a bro handshake and gives me a hug.   
"Where's Letha?" I ask as we walk towards the living room.  
"Adding finishing touches to the baby's room with her mom." He smiles.   
"Wow, it is almost time isn't it." I say.   
"She's passed her time. That baby has already been cookin' an extra week." Peter goes to the kitchen for a round of beers.   
"Crazy." Roman scratches the top of his head.  
Destiny emerges from her séance room.   
"C'mon Roman no time to waste." She takes his hand.   
I take a seat on the couch. Peter walks around to hand me a beer and takes a seat.  
"So you almost finished packing?" He takes a sip.  
"Yeah, almost. I'm leaving about a week after Roman's birthday. Freshmen have to go for orientation and all that before school starts."   
"Man New York City... big place." I just nod. "You ready?"  
I shrug. "I mean I guess so..."  
"You be fine. You'll settle and make some friends. Its New York City there's an unlimited amount of things to do and plenty of people. I've been a lot of places it's not hard finding your groove in a new place." He hold his beer bottle up. "Cheers." We tap glasses and throw our head back for a big gulp.  
We chill and talk about random things. Mostly about the baby. Peter was so excited. I pulled my Polaroid camera out of my purse.   
"Let me take a picture of you for my dorm room."   
"Jesus, you still have film?" He laughs.  
"I finally put the last pack of film in this last night. Roman seriously bought me almost 2 months' worth of film for this." I laugh. "Okay, now pose."   
I point my camera at him, he puts a sophisticated fist under his chin and leans in. I take the Polaroid out and let him shake the photo until the image appears.   
"Perfect." I say when he hands the photo back.   
We lounge around. Roman was with Destiny for a long time. I wondered what was happening in there. Peter started flipping through the haute model coffee table book.  
"Jesus Christ Destiny..." he said while looking at a model in some high fashion BDSM-esque outfit.   
Suddenly, a strange gust of wind hits us. It ruffles the pages of the book. Peter's eye's widened.  
"Well, I'll be..." He says as he pulls his phone from his jacket pocket.   
He holds it up and closes his eyes. I wanted to ask what was going on but the phone begins to ring.   
"You're having a baby!?" Peter says excitedly as I listen to his half of the conversation.   
He gives a proclamation of his love to her, if you want to call it that. Apparently Letha's tits make the flowers bloom. Ridiculous but cute. He finishes the phone call.  
"She's having the baby?!" Peter says to me as if I hadn't hear already.  
I just laugh and give him a big hug.   
"This is exciting! I'm so happy for you two!"  
"What's up?" Roman says as he enters the living room. He was, as usual, teary eyed.   
"Birthday!" Peter announces.   
"SHEEIT!" Roman and Peter say as the both embrace in a big hug.  
"Yay, I love babies!" Destiny cheers.  
"We should go!" I say.  
Roman goes to grab his coat of the arm rest of the couch and suddenly Destiny grips his arm. She looks into his eyes.  
"Still. To be the still point in the turning world is the warrior's greatest feat." Roman looks at her confused.  
"Uh anything else?" He asks.  
Destiny shakes her head. "Go."  
Roman puts his hand out for me to grab. Destiny and I exchange a look before we leave. It was a look that said 'help him'.   
Roman, Peter, and I get escorted to the new obstetrics wing in the white tower. We take a seat in the sterile white waiting room. I yawn as I settle into the white leather couch.  
"Sorry for keeping you up last night." Roman winks at me.  
I rolls my eyes at him. Roman begins to pull out a cigar case out of his pea coat.  
"Heeey, nice touch." Peter says excitedly.  
Roman clips the tip off the cigar for Peter and hands it to him.   
"Can we even smoke in here?" Peter asked concerned.  
Roman shrugs. "I'm going to own the place, who's going to stop us?" He settles back into the couch as he lights his cigar. He hands the lighter to Peter. "You want to try?" He asks me.   
I take the cigar and accidentally inhale too strongly. I start to choke.   
"Hey, easy." Roman rubs the middle of my back.   
"Fuck that!" I hand the cigar back.   
Roman and Peter both laugh.   
We all settle and wait for the baby to arrive. We were all antsy anticipating the arrival. We could here doctors and various nurses being paged to the operating rooms nearby.  
"Uncle Roman..." Roman says through cigar puffs.  
Peter laughs. "God help us... So anything from D?"  
"Dead end..." Roman shakes his head. I give Roman's thigh a reassuring squeeze.   
"You even sure she's even out there?" Peter asks.  
I could feel my heart drop as he said it. The ache in my belly began to build. This whole time I never doubted that she wasn't out there somewhere alone. The way Peter said it, made me really think she may be gone. Her body withering and wasting away in a ditch.  
"I know she is." Roman said firmly. "I see her sometimes in dreams." Peter nods along with Roman's words. "Not always in dreams though... I've been trying it on myself..." He points at his eyes with two fingers.   
"Roman..." I say.   
He grabs the hand I had on his thigh and holds it. It was his way of telling me not to worry. He's never told me he's tried to compel his self. Until now.  
"I look into the mirror and I tell myself to see her." Roman begins to explain. "Things kind of cloud over but there's this light and the light is... an angel." He looks at me and then back to Peter. "The angel is her. She tries to tell me something but I can only just hear her, she says, 'You must make your heart steel.' Over and over... what do you think it means?" He asks Peter.  
Peter leans forward and I looks like he is lost in thought. He starts to shake his head.  
"Can you make yourself cluck like a chicken?" Peter says sarcastically.  
Roman scoffs and takes another puff of the cigar.   
"Fuckin angels." Roman says.  
"Roman why didn't you tell me that you were doing that to yourself?" I look at his eyes.  
"I don't know... I didn't want to upset you or worry you." He kisses the back of the hand he was holding.   
The ache started to feel like a fire in my belly. I wince but to Roman it looked like I was blinking back tears. He apologized again. I told him I wasn't upset and that I was okay.   
We were in the waiting room for who knows how long now. A few hours? Peter went to lay down on the couch behind us. I rested my head in Roman's lap. He played with my hair and finger brushed it back. He noticed a discomfort in my face.  
"What's wrong?" He reaches over me to put his cigar down.  
I shrug. "Stomach ache."  
"Raquel." He saw right through my lie.  
"I-it's just... I'm getting a bad feeling." I say hesitantly.  
"From what?"  
I tell him that I wasn't sure. While we were in the waiting room we all had no idea what was going on in the O.R. Suddenly, Peter jolts up. It's startled Roman and me. The look on Peters face was one that I grew familiar with.  
"Peter, what's wrong." I ask.   
Peter stands up and walks towards the door that leads to the maternity ward. Roman and I both stand and follow him. A beeping noise chimes and echoes around us.   
Code Omega. Code Omega.   
An automatic voice says.  
Maternity one. All available staff report. Code Omega.  
The beeping chimes in again. Roman walks closer to the door. Peter and I stand by.  
Maternity one. Cancel Omega. Patient is deceased.  
The ache from my belly dissipates. It feels like the wind was knocked out of me. I can move, I can't even speak. Peter and I stood there like statues. Roman walks passed us with tearful eyes. Tears brim over and run down my face. I begin to shuffle my feet. I plop down on the couch. Before I bury my face in my hands I see that Roman had feel to his knees weeping and Peter, poor Peter, still stood stoically. No emotion. Shock.  
That night. Roman and I hardly spoke. We both would cry sporadically. Unable to keep our faces dry and the tears at bay. My parents kept calling me wanting to know where I was. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I turned my phone off.   
Roman and I lay in bed sober. We were too sad to get high. Too sad to even tip a bottle back. I told Roman I loved him. He began to cry after he said he loved me too. Before I drifted to sleep I couldn't help but feel angry. We have all experienced so much sadness, confusion, and pain that it seemed unfair. Every attempted step forward we were propelled back to the starting line. Life was adding stone after stone on top of our bodies until the weight crushed us. So many years had been added to our short lives. We're just children, we're all just children, I thought before I gladly let sleep take me.  
_______________________________  
Author's note: it's almost over guys. Let me know what you all think! :)


	28. It's Over

Roman and I are soaking in the bath. I sat between his legs with mine hanging out the edge of the tub. He hands me a flask of bourbon while I pass on a joint. We were both fucked up. We hardly even talked all day. The bathwater wasn't even warm anymore yet we still sat in it getting pruney.   
"Roman..." I say a little slurred. "I don't want to leave for university anymore."  
Roman looks a little angry. He gets up out of the tub and quickly wraps a towel around his waist.   
"Raquel," Roman says annoyed, "You're fucking going so stop telling me that your aren't or that you think you don't want to go." He pulls a cigarette out of the pack of cigs that were on the sink. "Get out the tub."   
"You've been so mean to me lately." I say slowly getting out the cold water.  
"I'm trying to keep you from making stupid choices." He wraps a towel around me.  
"I don't want to leave you alone to deal with all this death and loss." I pout but I truly meant it.   
"I can handle myself." Roman says as we walk into his room. "Get dressed. I have to take you home."  
"Nooo." I whined.   
"Raquel, you've been here for the last four days. I know your parents are pissed." Roman said digging in his drawers for clothes.  
"Roman stop trying to get rid of me." I feel my eyes brim with tears.   
Roman turns back and looks at me. His demeanor softens.  
"Stop." He sighs. "I know you're worried about me but I promise I won't do anything stupid. I won't OD again... I won't do that to you." He puts a button up on.  
"It's not that I think you're going to do anything stupid. I don't want to leave you alone. I don't want to be alone..." Roman walks over to me. He runs his fingers over my cheek. He places a tender kiss on my lips.   
"Please don't be mad with me but I have to take you home. At least for your parents."   
I take a deep breath. "Fine." I say as I exhale.   
Roman pulls up to my house. I kiss him. I ran my hand up Roman's inner thigh. I was trying anything to not leave him. Plus, I didn't want to hear my parents gripe at me. He almost fell for my advances. He breaks our kiss.  
"Raquel." He snatches my hand away. "You're not sneaky. Go, I'll call you later."   
I shoot him an angry look. I close his jaguar door a little harder. He speeds off.  
I knew my parents were home. I bet they have seen Roman pull up to the house and are just waiting for me to enter. Ready to scold me. I open the front door and brace myself. My mom was sitting on the couch watching day time television while clipping coupons from the Sunday paper. My dad must have been out back fixing something that didn't need to be fixed. She turns and looks at me.   
"Raquel..." She says in an understanding tone. "We're not mad at you baby." She pats the seat cushion next to her signaling me to sit. "We know... it's okay." I bury my face into her and weep.   
She just holds me. I kept repeating 'it's not fair' over and over through sobs. She held me until I could get a handle on myself.   
"I'm so sorry Raquel." She pushes the hair out of my face. "How's Roman? That poor boy."   
"Distant." I sniffle.   
"It's going to take him some time. Soon you'll be in New York and put this hurt behind you." She pats my thigh. "Are you hungry?" I nod yes. "I'll make you some tomato soup. Go to your room and rest baby."   
I was half way done with the soup and grilled cheese when Liam knock at my door.   
"Hey," Liam says and he peeks a head into my room, "can I come in?" I motion him to sit on my bed. "I heard about Letha." I nod solemnly. "Is the baby gone too?" I nod again as an answer. Words made it feel too real. "Here I brought you this." Liam puts a rolled blunt and a few Xanax in my hand. "You know I'm not good at these things. You were there for me when I needed someone. This is the only way I know how." I give him a half smile and thank him. "I was thinking the other day. I'm going to miss you when you leave for school. We've been going to school together so long. Senior year, it's going to be all me." Liam's eyes were illuminated by the rays of sun that suddenly flooded into my room. He was the only one in the family with colored eyes. They were hazel. Sometimes they looked gold.  
"You'll be fine, Liam. Just don't get caught up in your drug dealing shit. Next year the whole vibe at school will be less heavy. Everything is over now."   
"Yeah, I'm glad about that." He gets up. "Well I'm going to Thomas' house. I'll see you later if you don't run off again." He winks at me.  
"Liam." I say before he exits. "I need you to listen to me don't say anything until I'm done telling you what I'm about to say." He gives me a perplexed look. "Shelley isn't the killer..." I explain everything to him. I needed someone else to understand. Someone outside of the madness and someone that loves me unconditionally enough to know that I'm not mad.   
"Raquel..." Liam begins.  
"I know it sounds fucking crazy. Just for second believe it, okay."   
"I wasn't going to say you were crazy... I believe you." He bites his lip.  
"What?" I say in disbelief.  
"Some of the things you just told me, sounds just like the kind of shit you would say to me when we were little. I remember you saying if I didn't share my candy then the 'white wolf was going to eat me'. Used to make me cry like a baby when you brought the white wolf up."   
"Oh shit. I didn't know I was mean about it like that."   
Liam chuckles a bit. "So it was Christina Wendall?" He furrows his eyebrows and rubs the back of his neck. I nod. "Shit. Well, thanks for telling me... but when I leave this room I don't want this to be brought up again. I know now and now I'm going to pretend like I don't know anything, okay?"   
"That's okay." I nod in agreement.  
"Okay." Liam sighs. "Well... see you later."   
He leaves my room and officially this conversation, in his head, never happened. At least he won't be questioning himself anymore.  
It wasn't until I began dreaming that I realized I had fallen asleep. I was in Shelley's room in the attic but everything had been cleared out. Not a trace of Shelley's existence in the room was left. A veiled black crib was placed in the center of the room, lit black candles encircled it.   
"Hello?" My voice echoed. Just wake up, my conscious says to me.  
"What is your business here?" Olivia says as she approaches me. He white dress wisps like smoke as she moves. "You silly girl." She tsks. "How are you able to do this?" I shrug. She leers into me. "Well if you won't tell me, I know what will make you."  
The white wolf sneers and growls at me. My heart begins to race. SHIT WAKE UP. Right as the wolf lunges at my throat. I jolt up in my bed. My dreams have diminished to every other day to sometimes one or two a week. I don't know if it was the opalescent gem Destiny gifted me, which I stored in one of my pillows. If I got fucked up enough, I would black out and not dream at all but I know that's not it. Whatever I dreamt I couldn't connect it to anything. What really freaked me out was that it seemed like Olivia was self-aware...   
One week later.  
"Roman can you talk to me? At least let me know you're okay?" I leave a voice message.   
I haven't seen Roman in three days. He would talk to me one minute and the next completely ignore me. I was frustrated with him and myself for putting up with his shit. I know he was hurting but I was too. We could be helping each other through this but he was being stubborn. He was shutting me out.  
I hear my dad call for me downstairs.   
"Alright are these all the Tupperware boxes you're wanting to send off?" My dad asks. I nod my head yes. "You sure? You double checked your room and everything?"   
"Yeah, this is it dad."   
"Okay because if you leave something here your S.O.L. little girl."   
He picks up a box and starts loading the trailer that was backed up to the porch steps. Liam came down to help and it was loaded fairly quick. My things will be waiting for me in New York. I check my phone before I head back to my room. Nothing.   
I tossed and turned in bed I was restless. I was thinking about NYC but my mind kept going back to Roman. What could he possibly be doing? I get out of bed. I place a towel under the door crack and scavenge my underwear drawer for the blunt Liam gave me. I lean far out the window like Roman would do when he smoked cigarettes. I lit it up. The smoke burned and then a cooling icy feeling replaced the discomfort. Liam gave me some good shit. I could already feel the high hit me. I take another hit, I start to choke. I flick the cherry off the end. Before I close the window headlights turn into my block. The car was driving fast. It came to screeching halt a few houses down. It was Roman.   
He scales the lattice up to my window. He looked like he had been crying and also he seemed coked out.   
"He gone. He's fucking gone." He says frantically.   
"Shhh, Roman." I say worried he'd wake the house. "Come on sit. Who's gone?" We take a seat on my bed. Roman runs his hands through his hair.   
"Peter." He chokes out. "He left." Tears begin to stream down his face.   
"Peter left?" I bite my lip. Don't cry, I willed myself.  
"Linda too. The trailer was empty. They're gone." He sniffles.  
"They didn't tell you or anyone where they were going?" I tried to remain calm.  
"No, they just skipped town." He begins to sob. "I need him. I need you." He leans down and cries into my lap. "I don't mean to push you out. I can't—" He weeps unable to make words.   
His head rested on my chest. He looked like a cherubic angel. I didn't fall asleep until I heard his crying turn into even breathing. In the morning, with him in my arms, is when I noticed how awkward we slept. His long legs dangling off the edge. My right arm completely numb and crushed under his body. I ended up waking him up trying to take my arm out from under him.   
"Sorry." I say softly.  
We adjust ourselves in bed. Roman kisses me. He softly slides his hand up from my outer knee and finally under my shirt. He caresses my bare breasts. I let out little moan and bite my lip.   
"Roman... my parents..." I breathe.   
"Shhhh." He says into my neck while leaving little butterfly kisses.   
I close my eyes and let myself feel. He lifts my shirt up and continues to plant little kisses all over my torso. He gets out of the bed and begins to undress himself. He fell asleep fully clothed. I watch him unbutton his jeans with lustful eyes. In his underwear he crawls to me and hovers. He runs his hand along my jaw line and down my torso, giving me goosebumps.   
"I love you." He looks longingly in my eyes.   
"I love you, too." We begin to kiss.  
Roman was so tender. This time we made love and it wasn't that the other times we had sex meant nothing but this time felt different. It was slow and sweet. Our lips hardly disconnected, our bodies were pressed close together. Roman put his hand over my mouth and we both cum together. We stayed in the same position after caressing each other's faces and kissing nimbly at each other. We were wrapped up in our bubble, where only we existed. Nothing else mattered.  
"Raquel!" I hear my mom yell, popping our bubble.   
"Oh shit." Roman and I both say.   
He rolls off me and the bed and hides half his body under the frame. I pull my comforter up all the way to my chin. I hear a light rap at my door.  
"You awake?" My mom peers in. I pretend to be half awake and nod my head yes. "I'm going to make breakfast. You want your eggs scrambled today?"   
"Yeah that sounds good." I smile.  
When she leaves, Roman crawls back into my bed and we both laugh. We begin to get dressed.   
"I'll see you later." Roman pulls me by the waist and leans down to kiss me. I didn't want him to leave.  
The days leading up to Roman's birthday were pleasant. It seemed like time kept passing by quickly. Soon I would be on a bus trip away from Hemlock Grove. Every time I had to say bye to Roman it always felt so final. I couldn't explain why. I also couldn't explain the ache that was slowly building in me. I knew I wasn't good. It never was good.   
I was a Roman's house. Earlier we were counting down the minutes until the clock struck 12 AM. Roman was finally 18 when we were tangled in each other. We started tenderly but our desire got the best of us. I tried to take control by riding him but as always he ended up taking the lead. He was hovering above me, choking me the way I liked.   
"Slap me." He asked as he thrusts harder. I hesitated. "Do it!" He commands with a ragged voice.   
I slapped so hard that it made my hand sting. He gripped my throat harder. He went in so deep that I came. Roman collapsed on top of me once he climaxed.   
"Happy Birthday." I said to him as we both panted trying to even our breathing.   
We spent most of his birthday in bed. I could tell even when he spent time with me, that he was sad. I would still catch him staring blankly when there would be silence between us. I know he was thinking about Shelley, about Letha, about Peter...   
"So Olivia insists you take a gap year?" I take a sip of beer. Roman had his head in my lap, taking a draw from a cigarette as he nods. "For what?"  
"I don't know." He exhales the smoke. "She said I have more important things to take care of. Whatever that means?" He scoffs. "I wish you weren't leaving..."   
My heart ached. "Yeah, me neither..."   
"Don't go..." He sits up. "I can take care of you."   
"Roman... it's too late..." He push the hair out of his eyes.  
"Think about it. Please." He pouts.   
"C'mon let's get dressed. You mom wants us down for dinner remember?"   
Roman's birthday dinner was silent and awkward. His Uncle Norman was here as well. He looked somber and a little out of it. Roman hardly ate. Luckily, we had wine and that's what I helped myself to mostly.   
"Shall we order another bottle?" Olivia asks to no one in particular. "Yes, we shall." She answers her own question. She rings a little bell for the help.  
After dinner Roman goes up to his room to fetch his pack of cigs. I stay behind in the living room flipping through channels. Olivia enters.   
"Darling isn't it time for you to go home?" She takes a seat next to me.  
"Oh, I thought Roman mentioned I was staying?" I say.  
Olivia leans into me. She twiddles a lock of my hair in her fingers. "I said perhaps it's time for you to go home." She locks her eyes with mine. I feel the pull. Olivia can do it too...  
I quickly look away. "I don't like that." She looked surprised. "If you wanted me to leave that's all you had to say." I get up. "Tell Roman I said bye and that I'll call him later."   
She gives me a smug nod.   
I was bundled up in my bed when I called him. No answer. I rolled my eyes. Roman not this shit again, I say out loud. I fell asleep with my phone in my hand. I woke up late into the evening. My phone displayed no missed calls, no missed texts...  
I get dressed and planned to drive to Roman's house right after. My mom calls me to the living room.   
"Raquel! About time you woke up, I got your bus ticket!" She hands me the little travel envelope.   
I open it. "This say's I leave in two days? Orientation doesn't start then." I say a little annoyed.  
"Raquel, you're going to have to move in and settle first before orientation." She puts her hand on her hip. "Anyways there's a sandwich in the fridge for you. Better hope your brother isn't eating it he's in there right now."   
"Thanks mom but I'm not hungry." I try to leave.  
"I didn't make it for nothing you better go eat it!" My mom says sternly.  
"Ugh." I turn on my heel and head to the kitchen.  
Liam had I smile on his face. "Where do you gotta be so bad?" He takes a bite of his sandwich.   
"Roman's mega bitch mom basically kicked me out last night. Now he won't answer my texts or calls." I pick the tomato out of my sandwich.  
"Jesus, that's what you get for fraternizing with Godfrey's."   
"Yeah, yeah. You want this." I hand over my sandwich. I sneak out my house through the back door.   
I knock the door to the Godfrey residence several times. I even rang the doorbell obnoxiously.   
"Roman!" I yell. I continue to knock until my knuckles got sore.  
Finally, Conway answers the door. "I'm sorry Mrs. Quinn but the heads of the house aren't accepting visitors at this time." He begins to close the door but I stop it with my foot.  
"Conway, it's me. I just want to see Roman."   
"I'm sorry Madame but I'm afraid that's not possible... Mrs. Quinn, I advise you to stop!" He yells at me after I bum rushed in the house.   
I run up to his room. He wasn't there. "Where is he?" I ask Conway. He tries to get me to leave again. "Conway!" He points towards the study.   
Roman had is back to me. Sitting in a chair that looked more like a mini throne especially with the fire place blazing in front of it. I see him holding a tumbler filled with a dark liquor and cigarette smoke floated above the chair.   
"Roman." I say.   
"Raquel." He says back annoyed.  
"What's your problem?" I ask.   
He stands and walks towards me. He looked different, meaner. His eyes looked hollowed, his skin paler.   
"How'd you get in? I told Conway no visitors." He puts his hands in his trouser pockets.   
"I'm not just some visitor, Roman. Why are you acting like this?" I say angrily.   
"You need to go." He tries to grab my arm and walk me out.  
"No." I rip my arm out of his grip. "Roman talk to me." I plead.  
His brows furrowed and he straighten up his posture making him look another foot taller. "Raquel." He looks into my eyes, I shut mine tight.   
"You asshole! Don't try that on me!" I yell.  
"Well then listen to me." He puts his hands on my shoulders. "When you leave to New York, forget about me. Forget this place and the things that happened here. Start over." He pulls a cigarette out his blazer breast pocket.  
"How are you going to tell me one day that you don't want me to go and now you're telling me to forget you?! What the fuck is wrong with you?" My fists balled.  
"A lot of things apparently. Look, this was fun and all—  
"Don't, you fucking do it." I say through gritted teeth. Tears begin to well up.  
Roman takes a drag. "I'm no good for you. You know that, you've always known that."   
"Roman, I love you." I wipe a tear that had escaped my eyes.  
"Go. It's over." He walks passed me. "Conway, can you show this lady out."   
I was stuck. I looked into the fire place watching the flames dance. A physical representation of the ache in me. Conway comes to my side. "Ma'am. This was please."   
Roman watches me leave the study, we make eye contact. I bite the inside of my cheeks, my brows furrowed. Conway had his hand in the middle of my back. I spun out of his touch. I walked back towards Roman and push him.  
"I hate you!" I say angrily. "This is bullshit, Roman!" He grabs my arms to keep me from hitting him. "Don't act like you don't love me, you liar!" I feel the tears come back. "Fuck you! I wasted my fucking time on you!" Roman calls for Conway again. "No! I'll show myself out. You asshole!" I pull my arms out of his grip.   
....  
I felt numb. Abandoned. Confused. I hated that I couldn't stop myself from loving him. I wanted to forget but even trying upset me.   
"Alright, Raquel. Be good sweetheart!" My mom says as she gives me a hug.   
"Call us when you get there kid." My dad gives me a pat on the back.  
When I hugged Liam, he snuck a dime bag in my back jean pocket. "Let me know about the college chicks." He winks.  
I get on the bus taking a window seat. An elderly lady sat next to me. I wave at my little family I even put on a smile for them.   
I settle into my seat as the bus began to drive. As we travel on the highway we pass the "You are now leaving Hemlock Grove. Drive Carefully!" The R and V in were faded out so it read 'Die Carefully'. The New York mile marker soon followed, 191 miles. Such a small stretch to leave my heart behind.  
"You look like you miss somebody." The elderly woman says to me massaging her wrinkled russet skin on her hand. "Where you headed to?"  
"New York City. For college." I say.  
"Oh that's great! I'm heading to Vermont to see my grandbabies." She smiles with her nice set of dentures. "New York's a big city. I hope you're ready for it." 

________________________________________________________  
Author's Note: THANK YOU SO MUCH! I appreciate everyone that have taken the time to read this little story of mine! It was so fun to write.   
Look out for the sequel to this story, it'll be called FADED. I already have half the first chapter written. Again thank you everyone!


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